The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[paulthenurse]

What color is my bedroom?

 

[the_bird]

You can sleep in the basement.

Exterior shot:

 

[Cape Brewing]

You can sleep in the basement.

LOL... then Bird can say, "bring out the Gimp" whenever he wants.

 

[the_bird]

Paulie won't fit in the box, is the only problem.

Yeager would make a better gimp, anyway. Doesn't he already have the suit?

 

[Cape Brewing]

I think Yeager has the Little Bo Peep outfit his SWMBO makes him wear on occasion as he pours her a blueberry beer.

You're resourceful Bird... you'll find a bigger box.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Here you go Bird... not sure if you want to spend the cash or how you would get it into your basement but I bet if you greased up the sides, you might get PTN into it...


Buy Used Shipping Containers, Storage Containers

 

[the_bird]

Apparently I have the Jamie Moyer of real estate agents.

The guy who was interested in buying my house, but then backed away.... she was showing him another place, which he and his g/f disliked a lot. So, she asked again about our place (which the g/f *loves*).

He hemmed and hawed a bit, so she casually mentioned that if they wanted to see it again, there was going to be another open house this coming weekend. An open house that didn't exist until that moment.

And, that pushed him to **** or get off the pot; he told her "well, guess I've got to make up my mind before then," came and saw it the next day, and we just got done igning the paperwork.

*Wily* veteran move.

 

[Cape Brewing]

... or that's what she told you she did..

... THAT would be a wily veteran move.

 

[the_bird]

She didn't volunteer that was what happened. We sat down to do the paperwork, and I asked her if the open house was a ruse. She kind of winked and said yes.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFJ4cQ1TjeM]The Ruse (Clerks) - YouTube[/ame]

 

[bob1852]

*Wily* veteran move.

Jordan going off for 38 with the flu...

... or that's what she told you she did..

... THAT would be a wily veteran move.

Marv Albert talking about it not-stop...

 

[paulthenurse]

Jay,
I've given it some thought and I've decided that I'll reluctantly accept your offer of the basement crash pad. I suppose that will have to do.

I will require the following accoutrements...

1. A framed copy of Bobby Orr mid-flight on one wall. (it doesn't NEED to be signed, although that would be nice.)

2. A Stratocaster with a sweet Marshall amp at bedside.

3. A tap on the wall. (I'll give you the "preferred schedule" for what should be on tap each month, but for quick planning purposes, during ski season I'm partial to big IPA's. Please plan appropriately.)

4. A urinal and crapper somewhere nearby my room. A bidet isn't required but would be a nice touch.

5. I always wanted to paint my bedroom ceiling sky blue with pretty, puffy clouds that looked like castles to me but looked like Montreal strippers to my cousin Eddie. See to it.

Especially the part about Eddies perspective.

6. A 100" HD flat screen TV is a given.

Snow is expected this weekend. Step on it.

PTN

 

[Cape Brewing]

pfft... a 100" HD tv in their basement... what kinda a-hole...

 

[DakotaRules]

Paul still thinks that a bidet is a fancy water fountain in the bathroom.

Well get you a glass of water Paul.

 

[paulthenurse]

Don't be goofin' on the bidet. Hot soapy water squirting on your bunghole after you drop a deuce ain't life altering but it's kinda like a bad ********. It ain't bad at all.

 

[the_bird]

I'll hook up the garden hose for you, as long as you promise to stand over the floor drain. That should work for the urinal as well, although I'll have to ask that you crap in the yard like the dog.

The Bobby Orr pic, I'll have to snag that from my boss' office. It is signed, though. He's a former pro hockey player, though, so you probably don't want to piss him off.

 

[paulthenurse]

And the ceiling?

 

[Cape Brewing]

You mean like that pic Paul?

That's the poster sized... and signed, addressed to me...


Jeeeez... the Orr pic, the big TV, the taps... You're startin' to creep me out.

 

[paulthenurse]

I keep forgetting that you are the only guy in New England with a picture of Orr on your wall and hold exclusive rights. Sorry. My bad.

Jay, let's go with a pic of Teddy Ballgame instead so you know who won't pout.

 

[Cape Brewing]

yeah... I was pouting.

Is it sunny in your world?

 

[paulthenurse]

It's always sunny in Paulville.

You'd better be nice or I won't share my ski crash pad in bird's basement with you. (No f'ing way I'm letting you use my high falutin' bidet with you, no matter how much you plead!)

Then again, we're talking New England styled back country skiing. You would look pretty foolish with your radar reflective ski pants on the Thunderbolt.

 

[DakotaRules]

I hope your not planning to snuggle with cape in birds basement. (shivering) I guess cape can be your gimp.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Thats ok, pretty sure I am headed back out to Vail. I'll suffer out there while you guys have all the fun in Bird's basement.

 

[DakotaRules]

Thats ok, pretty sure I am headed back out to Vail. I'll suffer out there while you guys have all the fun in Bird's basement.

I know vail like the back of my hand. I'm willing to try a new resort anytime. Cape if ya got the balls hike to east vail and well talk about skiing.

Do you ever make it over to beaver creek while your out there?

 

[paulthenurse]

Ha ha

Ha ha

He said Beaver.

 

[Cape Brewing]

That was sweet

 

[the_bird]

....

 

[paulthenurse]

....

Probably a good idea to delete that but in response to your question, yes.

 

[bob1852]

Probably a good idea to delete that but in response to your question, yes.

That was an odd post, even for this crowd.

 

[paulthenurse]

You have no idea.

 

[DakotaRules]

I missed it!

Did bird make fun of himself???