The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[DakotaRules]

You've once again blown us all away with your riviting updates

I would be interested in a certain clone update?!

 

[Cape Brewing]

It is in the barrels.

 

[DakotaRules]

It is in the barrels.

Taste? A little enlightenment.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Havent tasted it. I am assuming it has kind of a beery taste.

 

[DakotaRules]

Havent tasted it. I am assuming it has kind of a beery taste.

I would punch you if I could. Oh well, another 6 months till we bottle? do you have to monitor gravity? add extra sugar to increase brett activity? whats the plan or should i stop inquiring?

 

[Cape Brewing]

Probably bottle some time in the late spring.

yeah, I would just stop inquiring. Ask the nurse how much inquiring tends to sway me.

Now the nurse... he's the exact opposite. That man will freakin' taste it 40 times a week so that when it IS actually done, there is about half left from what he started from.

We'll try it at the holiday pahty.

And no... why would be want to increase the brett activity?? (since there hopefully isn't any brett IN it.)

 

[the_bird]

Ugh.

My boss just introduced me to someone, I think someone that he's recruiting to join our firm.

First thing he says to me, "Did I see you down at the Ani DiFranco concert?"

... apparently, he recognized, and remembered, me from there. Now it's REALLY for the best that I wasn't as drunk as I would have wished!

 

[Cape Brewing]

BWUAAAAAAA!! AAAAAHHHH AHAHAHAHH!!!!

You're now the "Ani Defranco guy" in the office!!!

 

[the_bird]

You know? I was telling someone in the office, I'd have much rather he recognized me as "that dude who was passed out in the ditch."

The kicker is, he only knew me from seeing the pictures of us on our website. Now, my picture is at least five years old, pre-beard, and I look like I'm about sixteen years old. Somehow, he projected out what I'd look like with facial hair and about forty more pounds.

Oi, I'm a little frightened.

 

[Cape Brewing]

You GOTTA change your avatar...

Google HAS to have a pic of a guy in a Ani Defranco t-shirt.

 

[the_bird]

"Oh, here's one..... nope, that's a lesbian."

"Oh, there's a pic... oops, another lesbian."

"Finally, there's a guy with a DiFranco shirt. Hmm, those shoes look really comfortable. ****, it's another lesbian."

 

[paulthenurse]

You know? I was telling someone in the office, I'd have much rather he recognized me as "that dude who was passed out in the ditch."

The kicker is, he only knew me from seeing the pictures of us on our website. Now, my picture is at least five years old, pre-beard, and I look like I'm about sixteen years old. Somehow, he projected out what I'd look like with facial hair and about forty more pounds.

Oi, I'm a little frightened.

So you used to be a cute little boy, now you look like Chaz Bono and you find it odd that this dude noticed you amongst 5000 dykes? Does that sum up tge situation? Really?

 

[Cape Brewing]

Jeeeez... someone had a bowl of Grumpy Flakes last night.

 

[paulthenurse]

Not me. I thought the Chaz Bono crack was a hoot.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Are you coming to the effin' holiday party??? You pissed and moaned about the date getting set and then you haven't even signed up yet.

 

[paulthenurse]

Nope. Schedule conflict. We flipped a coin, I lost.

 

[Cape Brewing]

You freakin suck.

I am actually, even after I've known you as long as I have, blown away by your level of suckosity.

 

[paulthenurse]

I got mad skillz.


Listen up, ******. I love my wife and get to have sex with her when she's happy. Conversely I can't stand you and the only thing worse than making snow angles in elephant dung is hanging out with you. It was a pretty easy choice. Just sayin'

 

[Cape Brewing]

I would actually take all of that under advisement if I wasn't 100%, completely, entirely convinced that, instead of coming to the holiday party, you were out artificially enseminating cows or something.

"ok The Nurse, we need some semen, that bull looks a little... Uh.... Anxious... And you're the only medical professional here sooooo... Oh! And here is a test tube! It needs to go RIGHT into the test tube.... Not your mouth and THEN the test tube. Good luck! Here! Here's some vasaline and some hand-warmers. "

 

[paulthenurse]

Fortunately, your average garden variety test tube provides a nice, slightly snug, fit.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

 

[Cape Brewing]

Just keep your hands warm. You've always complained about how jumpy those animals get.

 

[bob1852]

Are you coming to the effin' holiday party??? You pissed and moaned about the date getting set and then you haven't even signed up yet.

Thanks for the invite, dick.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Dude... SSBC holiday pahty... Membahs only dog. You wanna drop the 25 beans fo' annual dues and you're in!

I fought the club on letting PTN in and they figured it was worth the dues. They ain't makin that mistake again.

 

[paulthenurse]

Go for it AZ, it's $25/year but only $28.50 for a lifetime membership. $28.50 for the privilege of busting Capes balls for the rest of your life = WIN.

 

[DakotaRules]

Nope. Schedule conflict. We flipped a coin, I lost.

I'm freakin pissed! You suck! Man up dude; do your wife, pull the bag off, and get your ass to the party. Not that I want to see just you, but I want to see a good "bird fight" between you and cape. Wings wide and feathers puffed, strutting around in a room talkin about your cidah, how clear and watery your pilsner is and how great Ani De ***** is.

 

[paulthenurse]

Life is about choices.

We've got two invites for that night, the SSBC Xmas bash and Alices boss's party. The last time we went to his house he took us down to his cellar where he had previously decanted a 1986 Chateau Figeac St Emilion Grand Cru and a 1986 Margaux Chateau Palmer.

At last years Christmas party Robnoxious threw up on my shoes.

It's a pretty easy decision.

 

[DakotaRules]

And no... why would be want to increase the brett activity?? (since there hopefully isn't any brett IN it.)

I wrote Vinnie and asked him about the brett in the consecration and he said that there is brett in the barrels. I thought I was going crazy and nope I'm not. He gave me the entire process and no I won't share.

 

[paulthenurse]

Wrong barrel, young Grasshopper.

 

[paulthenurse]

Ethical dilemma...

You are at a bar for lunch. The bartender is smokin' hot.

She is also startlingly stupid. Unbelievably stupid. Indescribably stupid! Mind blowingly stupid!


Do I just gaze upon the wonder that is her hot body, eat my ribs and leave, or do I kill her before she gets knocked up and further muddies up the visibility in the gene pool?

I'm of an age where I know that no matter how witty, rich, or well hung I may be she's not going to throw me a go, not even a charity go, so I can take the long view and do what is right for the species.

 

[bluemoose]

If you could post a picture I could give you a verdict.