The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[Qhrumphf]

Dear area body shops,

If I had put out this quality of work back in the day I would have been fired on the spot. You should be ashamed.

Sincerely,
Could do better work with playdoh and spray paint. Oh wait that's what YOU did.

 

[cannman]

Dear propane man,

Thank you for not charging me to top off my tank for tonight's 100min boil. I'm not sure if you don't know how to read fractions or it just wasn't worth your time to calculate .79 of a gallon of propane. I know I might be the paranoid a$$hole here driving to your station during the lunch rush with a full tank of propane... But thank you for installing confidence that I will not run out of fuel tonight.

All the best,
That Crazy Guy With A Full Tank of Propane

 

[Zepth]

Dear TCGWAFToP
You sound like a prime candidate for the 2 tank system.
Sincerely,
Reason

 

[TheCADJockey]

Friend who thinks "beer is not a science" and disregards sanitation, made me try his beer. Tastes like burnt plastic. Not trying to be rude but it's bad. And I have a pint to drink of it right now. Thinks it's the fault of my hops.

 

[Komocabo]

Dear Thinks it's the fault of my hops,

That sounds like a real drag. Tell him the truth. Be a friend, even if you have to be a d!ck about it. Sounds like he deserves it.

Sincerely,
You should give your friend a good old punch in the berries.

 

[PackerfaninSanDiego]

Friend who thinks "beer is not a science" and disregards sanitation, made me try his beer. Tastes like burnt plastic. Not trying to be rude but it's bad. And I have a pint to drink of it right now. Thinks it's the fault of my hops.

Dear whoever you are,
you are in the wrong thread
Sincerely, PFISD

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear HBT,

Sorry for drunk posting last night at 830. It was a rough day.

Sincerely,
Disheveled

 

[brew_ny]

Dear Disheveled,

if it was not for drunk posting this place would be dead

Sincerely

HBT

 

[beavers]

Dear Disheveled,

if it was not for drunk posting this place would be dead

Sincerely

HBT

Dear This Place,

If it weren't for the dead, I'd be drunk posting.

Sincerely,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Mortician

 

[hunter_le five]

Dear Disheveled,

Druck posting is the best posting. Keep 'em coming.

Sincerely,

Habitual Druck.

 

[cannman]

Dear Disheveled,

Just be glad that HBT is not your cell phone's texting app.

Sincerely,
Habitual Drunk-Texter

 

[VApatriot]

Dear President Obola,

Thanks for not shutting down flights from Liberia...

Sincerely,

Everyone who came in contact with everyone else who came in contact with everyone else who, you know, came in contact with the healthcare workers that treated the dead ebola guy in Dallas. Soon to be tons and tons of people across this country.....

 

[Fedora]

Dear, Guy Welding Across From Me,

Aaoooww!!! My eyes!!!!!

Sincerely,
Beer Does Not Cure Flashburn

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear, Guy Welding Across From Me,

Aaoooww!!! My eyes!!!!!

Sincerely,
Beer Does Not Cure Flashburn

Dear Beer Does Not Cure Flashburn,

Or does it?

Sincerely,
You may be doing it wrong

 

[TXCrash]

Dear, Guy Welding Across From Me,

Aaoooww!!! My eyes!!!!!

Sincerely,
Beer Does Not Cure Flashburn

Dear flashburn,
Punch him in the ebola.

Sincerely,
Yes that's a thing. I should know, I'm from Dallas.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear, Guy Welding Across From Me,

Aaoooww!!! My eyes!!!!!

Sincerely,
Beer Does Not Cure Flashburn

Dear Beer Does Not Cure Flashburn,

Or does it?

Sincerely,
You may be doing it wrong

Dear These Two Guys,

I'm a professional beer a-hole. beer does not cure flash burned eyes, but it helps.

Sincerely,
Don't Watch Me Weld

Dear My Poop,

Thank you for offending everyone else in the bathroom at work today!

Sincerely,
Seriously Impressed

 

[Fedora]

Dear Beer Does Not Cure Flashburn,

Or does it?

Sincerely,
You may be doing it wrong

Dear I'm doing it wrong,

Sadly after many years of independent research and testing I can say with some certainty that beer does not cure flashburn..... yet.
However, in the name of science and for the good of all mankind (ok, mostly just welders), I will continue to explore the possibilities of this miracle cure through rigorous testing in my personal laboratory( home brewery).
Starting right now...

Sincerely, Bout To Get Farkin Wasted

 

[Fedora]

Dear flashburn,
Punch him in the ebola.

Sincerely,
Yes that's a thing. I should know, I'm from Dallas.

Dear Ebola Does Dallas,

Unfortunately, the guy was born in the southern hemisphere so his ebola spins counter clockwise, making it difficult for me to hit since i'm right handed.

Sincerely,
I Did Give Him An Elbow To The Coriolis

 

[Natdavis777]

Dear Don't Watch Me Weld,

Beer also doesn't cure some good ole slag burns, but sure helps as well

Sincerely,
Guy who didn't have enough C-clamps to secure fire blanket


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[number40fan]

Dear, Dow.

See you soon.

Sincerely,
<10,000

 

[cannman]

Dear Daylight Savings Time,

It's 0540... Where's the sun?

Sincerely,
This is some BS

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear Guy from Owens Valley,

What's this sun thing you speak of?

Sincerely,
Guy from Buffalo, NY

 

[ubnserved]

Dear flashburn,
Punch him in the ebola.

Sincerely,
Yes that's a thing. I should know, I'm from Dallas.

Around here we don't punch people in the Ebola. ... we have Billy-Klubb punch him in the berries.

 

[Qhrumphf]

Dear Spurs,

Play with a little more discipline in the 2nd half and you just might have a shot. No more penalties...

Sincerely,
COYS

 

[ubnserved]

That, or her previous boyfriends were the below type.




Dear 4 day workweek,

Why cant you be 3 days instead? I have some nipples to lick.

Sincerely,
3 more days to go.

Dear 3 day
You forgot to have her make you a grilled cheese sandwich!
Sincerely craving the grilled cheese!

 

[ubnserved]

Dear Alchy's,

Wahkasii!! (that's a karate chop to the taint)

Sincerely,
I Just Hit My Own Taint

Dear taint chopper

It is better to chop a taint Than get these in it! Maybe you should stick to punching berries.

Sincerely Kevlar protection needed

 

[biochemedic]

Dear Ford,

I spent extra to have the GPS on my vehicle. F*c! You and your $149 map upgrade. My Google map upgrades for free...

Sincerely,
Never Going To Get The Built-in GPS Again

 

[biochemedic]

Dear Honda,

See my above. F*c! You too...

Sincerely,
I Wasn't Kidding About The GPS Thing...

 

[PackerfaninSanDiego]

Dear Football Gods,

Thanks!!, the Bears still suck!

Sincerely, All Packer Fans In San Diego

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear 3 day
You forgot to have her make you a grilled cheese sandwich!
Sincerely craving the grilled cheese!

Dear craving the grilled cheese!,

You and me both, two months dating and no grilled cheese. (Un)luckily, she broke up with me yesterday after I took her to a football game so the point is moot.

Sincerely,
Without any grilled cheese