The best advice from an old person

[MikeFlynn74]

From the movie- Little miss Sunshine.

"**** a lot of women"

 

[Dwain]

"Grampawisms", he had a million of them and usually found a way to make his point with one.

Boy, get one that can cook, 'cause all of them can fook!

Going to the same job everyday is like wiping your arse on a bicycle tire, same ole shiite, over and over

I feel like a one legged man at an arse kicking party

 

[Stef1966]

Along the same lines literally, but figuratively not...by my friend's Dad...

"If you marry a piece of ass, that's usually all you get".

Hell... sorry to break anyone's bubble but i did marry a very nice piece of ass, but fact is, she turned out to be much more than this in the long run and still counting the good sides even after 20 years (hey im 42 so yes... thats possible...)

My point?
-- You don't have to commit and marry a God awful looking woman to also get a wonderful soul as well... some have both looks and great human qualities!

 

[Pappers_]

Hell... sorry to break anyone's bubble but i did marry a very nice piece of ass, but fact is, she turned out to be much more than this in the long run and still counting the good sides even after 20 years (hey im 42 so yes... thats possible...)

My point?
-- You don't have to commit and marry a God awful looking woman to also get a wonderful soul as well... some have both looks and great human qualities!

Pictures or it didn't happen . . . .

:cross:

 

[Stef1966]

Pictures or it didn't happen . . . .

*LOL* I wish i could but she doesnt want to be posted on the internet... i know... lame excuse but thats how it goes.
I once put a pic in the "Show us your SWMBO" thread but when she saw it she said you take it off or else...

 

[DeathBrewer]

hidden camera time. :cross: j/k

 

[StunnedMonkey]

*LOL* I wish i could but she doesnt want to be posted on the internet...

I think she's already there. I did a Google Image search for "piece of ass" and a whole bunch of pics came up. I assume they're of her. Pretty sweet.

 

[Stef1966]

......... :fro:

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

If you tried it once and enjoyed it..... Make sure you do it in private the next time, or it will probably get you arrested.

That's my own. I feel that I'm old enough to make up my own now.

 

[Brewin_the_goods]

My dad's friend would tell me this: "Women are like buses, one comes along every fifteen minutes.

My favorite sticker: "I don't care how good looking she is, somebody somewhere is tired of her ****".

 

[Kronin]

never trust a fart, and never waste a boner.

 

[Ceedubya]

we used to get a bi-monthly news paper on the ranch called the Hereford news, full of cattle info. On the back, they always posted interviews with several ranchers.

One month one of the questions was to list thier best advice. three of the four gave some great commentary on raising cattle, feed options, calving, etc.

The fourth said "Forty years ago I gave up on women, and I've been happy ever since."

My dad cut it out, framed it, and stuck it on the fridge.

Other great Dad'isms

"If you find a girl you think you might like, always meet her mom early on cuz in twenty years, thats what your going to be stuck with"

When I got my girlfriend pregnant: "I guess you found out that thing is for more than just peein, didn't ya?"

"Keep your toes out"

"Don't squat with your spurs on"

 

[jgbrown]

A good family friend who was only "half lit" at the time passed this on:

Go to school, keep your nose clean, and don't get anyone pregnant.

 

[willangus]

It takes a big man to cry.

But it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

 

[blackwaterbrewer]

ocham's razor and the quote at the bottom.

 

[Ryno]

A friend of mine's uncle told him "Your daddy should have came on a fence post and let the crows eat it". Sounds like a nice guy!

 

[Sean]

A little dog is playing by the RR tracks, a train goes by and nips of the tip of the dogs tail.

The dog is startled and turns around to examine the damage, and another train goes by and cuts off his head.

Moral of the story: never lose your head over a little piece of tail.