Stories about Goats

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jdp said:
I used to have a goat. A 68. High output 400, the old 'his and her' shift gate. Mississippi Queen playing on the 8-track... The good old days.
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Now that's a goat story! I wish I had me a goat of the Pontiac variety.

Anywho, when I was only a couple years old my "grandma" (no blood relation, but she was a long time friend of my real grandmother and really was part of the family) had a few goats on a little farm she lived on. The biggest of which was "Billy" (super original, I know). When I was 2-3 years old we were visiting her house and for whatever reason my grandma and my mother decided it would be great to walk a small child up a steep embankment. I'm sure you can all figure out that I fell and proceeded to roll down said embankment. Luckily Billy was a badass (pretty sure that's where the saying came from ;)) and ran over to where I was falling and laid down so I couldn't go any further.

My mother is telling me this story when I'm probably 15-16 years old about how amazing the goat was for saving me, and all I could think was how the hell my mom could have thought it was a good idea to let a small child walk up some steep hill without even holding his hand... A goat is more or less the reason I'm alive today and the reason you just wasted 5 minutes reading this that you will never get back. Ever.
 
hunter_la5 said:
Years ago I did some volunteer work at a local animal sanctuary, for a brief period of time. Mostly manual labor like shovelling ****, hanging nets, putting up fencing, distributing food/water, changing bedding/mulch, etc.

They rescued wild animals that had been injured, pets abandoned by their owners, and livestock whose owners could no longer afford to care for them. They had everything from bald eagles, hedgehogs, vultures, dogs, cats, rabbits, horses, owls, deer... if it was some sort of animal that would quickly die on its own in the wild, these people would take it in.

Most of the animals lived either in large cages or segregated in pens. The one animal that was allowed to roam the property freely was a :goat: . It was a pretty smart creature, and knew better than to run away from its food source, or to mess with the other animals. It was very friendly, and would give you a gentle headbutt whenever it wanted attention from you. It loved getting head-scratches.

One day I was busy shovelling **** or whatever, and the :goat: came up and gave me a headbutt. I turned around, pet him briefly, and went back to work. He wanted more, so he headbutted me again.

Not wanting to be distracted from all the work I had to do, I ignored him. He headbutted me again. I ignored him again. He headbutted me again, a little harder this time.

I used ignore. It was not effective.

Headbutt again, even harder this time. Annoyed, I turned around, and gently but firmly pushed him away by the horns. Bad idea. He thought I was trying to play with him. Keep in mind this :goat: probably weighed as much as I did, if not more.

He came at me hard this time, but I was ready for it. Headbutt. Push. Headbutt. Push. The forces applied were increasing with each exchange, the :goat: and I locked in a battle of wills.
Before long, we were both on the ground, wrestling for dominance in the mud and the ****.



And that was when they asked me to leave the animal sanctuary.


:goat:
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You're lucky they didn't give the :goat: a shovel and put you in a pen.

I've known two people who got headbutted by :goat: , but :goat: have always been nice to me.
 
b-boy said:
I just bought an old house on 10 acres of land. There is a barn, an old lean-to, and a fenced in area that used to house horses. It has crossed my mind to get a goat or two and maybe a few chickens.

What are the pros and cons on getting some goats? :goat:
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They are like dogs that you _really_ don't want to let into the house. They are herd animals and if you don't have another herd animal for it to bond to, they will be in the house (guaranteed).

They are browsers, more closely related to deer. If you want one to keep the grass down, don't count on it. They tend to like bushes, shrubs, trees, etc, before they will eat down the grass.

Goats are actually picky eaters. They have very sensitive lips and will take anything into their mouths to check it out (it's their main sense of touch).

They are as smart as most breeds of dogs. Mine know their names, their order of coming out to milk, how to open doors and latches, the difference between the in door and the out door to their pen, and how to find the most difficult spot to pull them out from when I pull the truck up and hook it to the trailer.

They can be the sweetest and friendliest companions and then turn around to be the biggest pain the @$$ you can imagine.
 
jdp said:
I used to have a goat. A 68. High output 400, the old 'his and her' shift gate. Mississippi Queen playing on the 8-track... The good old days.
Click to expand...

I had a '72 with a 400. Cobalt blue with a white interior. Near the end of the run. I'm not sure if it even counts as a real GTO. I couldn't afford to put gas in it. Sold it in '85 for $600.

I wish I still had it.
 
Oginme said:
They are like dogs that you _really_ don't want to let into the house. They are herd animals and if you don't have another herd animal for it to bond to, they will be in the house (guaranteed).

They are browsers, more closely related to deer. If you want one to keep the grass down, don't count on it. They tend to like bushes, shrubs, trees, etc, before they will eat down the grass.

Goats are actually picky eaters. They have very sensitive lips and will take anything into their mouths to check it out (it's their main sense of touch).

They are as smart as most breeds of dogs. Mine know their names, their order of coming out to milk, how to open doors and latches, the difference between the in door and the out door to their pen, and how to find the most difficult spot to pull them out from when I pull the truck up and hook it to the trailer.

They can be the sweetest and friendliest companions and then turn around to be the biggest pain the @$$ you can imagine.
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So buying a goat would be just like getting another PITA dog. Hmmm... I'll have to think about that.

Actually, I like my dog, but just like humans, he can be a real jerk sometimes.
 
ColoHox said:
Our very own goat thread and @Hunter_la5 is no where to be found?

Our city just allowed goat keeping. We have two Nigerian dwarves on their way, and some goats.
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My thoughts exactly. I was sure he would have been the OP. Too busy making his new avatar no doubt. Very cool BTW.
 
Vamptrump said:
How does everyone feel about sheep (aka the nicer fluffier goat)? I have a feeling I know @yeastylad's answer (being from Scotland and all), but I feel as though sheep need some representation.

And because required for every post :goat:



Missed that rule...oops, I'll keep quiet now.
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Sheep are beautiful delicate flowers. I rescued one from a peat bog once. I won't tell you how it showed it's gratitude.
 
Vamptrump said:
How does everyone feel about sheep (aka the nicer fluffier goat)? I have a feeling I know @yeastylad's answer (being from Scotland and all), but I feel as though sheep need some representation.

And because required for every post :goat:



Missed that rule...oops, I'll keep quiet now.
Click to expand...

Sheep are stupid and a little dangerous. We had dorpers for awhile. A 50 lb. lamb broke my nose trying to jump over me while I was trying to catch her. A 200 lb. ewe tried jumping over my adult son and came down on top of him. Our ram used to get his head stuck in the fence and when I got him out he'd usually spin around and try to take my knees out from under me.

Goats :goat: :goat: are smart and generally easy going. Our bucks have never been mean, just aromatic. Reminds me of a cross between grape Kool-Aid and burning rubber in peak rut. We have Nubians, mostly, but a few weedeater crosses as well. The Nubians are a little less hardy than the crosses but not by much. They all eat poison oak and blackberry bushes. The milk can take a bit of getting used to but once you are accustomed cows milk can't compare.

Sheep & goats are both delicious, each in their own way. Goat is the best barbecue, IMO.
 
To paraphrase Mr. Jerry Clower...

Down where I come from, they plant rye grass for the deer to eat.
Walk around in the woods and you'll find an opening, you scratch the ground put out some fertilizer and plant some rye grass seed.
The rye grass will come up, and it's good for the deer to eat.

Two of my old buddies was hunting a place to put a plot the other day.
Walking along in the woods and saw a hole in the ground.

One of em said "What's that hole doing over there?"

The other one said "I don't know, I never seen that hole before, get that limb and chunk down in there and let's see if we can hear it hit the bottom."

Nothing happened

"Get that big chunk over there, that stump, throw it down in there."

Throwed it down in there,

Nothing happened.

One of em said "Hey! Here's an 8 foot section of a railroad track. You get that end I'll get this end, we'll slide her down in there brother, I bet she'll make a racket when it hit's the bottom!"

They got the railroad track and they dropped it and they listened and about 4 seconds later a big red goat jumped in the hole.

"Uhh.. did you see that goat?"

"I reckon I did"

"Where he come from?"

A fellow come walking out the woods and said "Hey fellas, y'all seen my big red goat?"

One of them fellas said "Yeah, he just jumped in this hole right here!"

"Jumped in that hole! That's odd, I don't see how he done that, cause I had him tied to an eight foot section of rail road track!!"

:goat: :goat: :goat: :goat: :goat: :goat: :goat: :goat: :goat:
 
jdp said:
I used to have a goat. A 68. High output 400, the old 'his and her' shift gate. Mississippi Queen playing on the 8-track... The good old days.
Click to expand...

I'd love one of those :goat:s!

ColoHox said:
It was a joke. Maybe I'm just not very funny.
Click to expand...


I lol'd.

My dad used to complain about :goat: being fussy, and not eating stuff that fell on the ground.

Knew a guy with a male goat. He stunk. Yes, the guy.

My cousin has a dairy goat farm.
 
So...Buffy.

Buffy was fearless. I find fearless often translates to stupid. Buffy was stupid.

She figured out she had free range of the neighborhood, and unlike the dogs on the street, Buffy had horns.

She would roam all day long, eating berries, doing goat things, singing songs about "Baaahhh".

So it's trash day and as always Buffy is eating our trash, the neighbors trash, everyone's trash. She liked trash.

From the distance she sees the trash pick up truck. She knows who it is, she knows what it came for, but will she submit? Will she allow the bastards that come weekly to steal her treasures to defy her again?

She gets in the street. Revs up, because you know goats rev up. Charge!

She starts her battle with a 2 ton garbage truck. Could be 3, I don't know, I don't know much about trash trucks. The trash men, not knowing to make of this, decide that the best option it to slam on their breaks. Like I said, Buffy has horns!

Buffy continues her charge "Bang!". "Bang Bang Bang" as she rams the front of the 4 ton garbage truck. The men inside are trapped in terror. What is this thing? What is it doing? Why does it have horns?

Everything changed after that. They stopped picking up our trash and Buffy was contracted out by our neighbors. Not as a trash remover, but as a protector. She's the hero our neighborhood deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So she was hunted. Because she can take it. Because she's not our hero. She's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A goat.
 
Once, me and the wife were driving somewhere and saw a goats for sale sign. We had just bought a house that had a small horse barn. We thought it would be cool to put a couple of goats in it.

We stopped and enquired about the cost. They were cheep, so we bought two pygmy goats.

Well, We're like 30 miles from home... We had a Ford Taurus. How do we get these goats home?

Yup! We put em in the back seat.

It was an interesting ride.
 
Sorry everyone. I was unable to get pictures of me with the "kids". I even wore my HBT shirt. The farmer's market had kittens instead :(. Maybe another time!
 
I should have filmed a video of one of my does yesterday. She had a dental problem that needed fixed, so she got some good drugs so the vet could work on her.

When she was recovering, she was totally like "I goat this" but her legs were far less functional than she believed them to be...
 
A couple of years ago a friend who lives up near Bull river found a couple of small goats hanging out on his porch. So trying to be a good neighbor, he pens the 2 goats & starts asking around to see if anybody is missing a couple of goats. After several hours, he finally found somebody who knew a guy who kept goats, but the guy lived a few miles down the road & across the river. He called the guy & explained the situation, the guy asks if he can bring the goats home. My friend says he doesn't have a suitable vehicle for transporting livestock & he needs to come pick up his goats. The guy says he doesn't have time & my friend can just keep the goats.

We thought this was a bit odd, but the guy was serious. We asked the guy who told us about the goat owner & he verified that the guy was a bit eccentric, but he was serious. So to make a long story short, we BBQ'd those goats & they were quite tasty. I ate an entire leg all by myself. 2 goats (and side dishes) fed 6 people with plenty of leftovers. I enjoyed eating goat so much, if I had the space to keep a few, I'd certainly do so.
Nom, nom, nom... :goat:
Regards, GF.
 
No story, just a picture. Aran Islands, Ireland 2012.

goats.jpg
 
hunter_la5 said:
:goat:

Pros:
1) Never mow your lawn again
2) Real life goaticon
3) Wrestling buddy

Cons:
1) Absolutely none, and don't you dare say otherwise.
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Actually Pro #1 is wrong. Sheep will keep your lawn mowed, :goat: will not. They'll keep your shrubs trimmed for you, but not your lawn. :) :goat: are browsers, while sheep are grazers. :)
 
TheCADJockey said:
Whatever "werstling" is...

It's ok. My :goat: would eat grass until he spit up what looked like a McDonalds shamrock milkshake. So, I would've thought the same.
Click to expand...

ummmm...do you know something about shamrock milkshakes we would rather not know? :eek:

:goat:
 

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