Obnoxious Football Trash Talk Thread

[paulthenurse]

Oh my god! That offensive lineman held that linebacker!!!!!!!!! The rules are clear! The offense IS NOT ALLOWED to grab the shirts of the defense!!!!!! You saw it, right THERE, on the replay! Cheating!!!!!!! Kill the right guard. He's destroying the integrity of the game!!!!!!!!! Stone him!!

Every person in America agrees that the NFL has a stick up its azz about stupid stuff. "Omg. He has on golden cleats. Stone him!"

But when it comes to the Pats all rational thought goes out the window. Jeezuz, you guys sound like you haven't taken a good dump in six months and haven't gotten a ******** in even longer.

Brady likes his balls softer. Rodgers likes his balls harder. Manning likes his balls however he gets them. Lighten da fuq up! You sound line some f'ing Muslim jihadist. Death to the infidel Tom Brady,

 

[wobrien]

Glad to see that PTN understands now.

 

[bluemoose]

So excited for the probowl!!!!!!!

 

[Mongrel]

 

[day_trippr]

Jeezus we have some stone-stoopid visitors this week.

Hoppy must've left the damned door unlocked and all his neighborhood friends are wandering in wondering what the grown-ups are doing.

Anyway...I just got done building a Lego Table for the grandkids, poured the first beer of the day (I was good! Power Tools + Beer = Trip To OR!) and flipped on the teevee, only to be greeted by the Technicolor Yawn that is the uniforms on these two sad teams.

Yikes!

Is it ok if I "Adjust My Set"??

Cheers!

 

[paulthenurse]

Ray Lewis is sitting on a podium pontificating about honor, brotherhood and integrity. The man stabbed two guys to death, burned up his blood soaked suit, rolled over on the guys who helped him cover up the murder and bought off the families off the murdered men.

And he's calling Tom Brady dishonest for wanting his game balls to be softer than league standards.

Ya. Right.

 

[ChshreCat]

Stop the bull****. The balls COULD NOT HAVE NATURALLY deflated that much regardless of conditions. PERIOD!

I don't want anything to happen prior to the Super Bowl. I want the Hawks to stomp the crap out of the cheaters legit, then have the NFL do what is right and fine/penalize the **** out of the cheaters.

If the integrity of the game means ANYTHING, the NFL MUST do something or risk becoming the next WWF.

Don't be silly. Bellyboy just proved beyond a doubt that all footballs lose 2 lbs of pressure between the start of a game and halftime.

Except for the 12th ball. That one is a magic ball and keeps it's pressure. But all other balls lose 2 lbs of pressure in the time it takes to play two quarters.

That's why all the footballs are nearly flat by the end of a football game even though nobody has ever noticed this before. But we all remember having to refill the air in our football 2 or 3 times a day so we could keep playing with it right? I mean... the vaunted leader of the clean-cut patties couldn't have just been pulling this stuff out of his azz, right?

 

[bluemoose]

Who said 2lbs? Mortensen? Just because that was the first report doesn't make it right. Not saying it is wrong either, but show me an NFL investigators report showing 2 lbs each. I think we all took the 2 lbs for fact, but I'm not sure it is.

 

[ChshreCat]

 

[HoppyDaze]

Couple things I haven't heard anyone mention:

1. How much air pressure does a ball typically lose over the course of a game? You've got a football which has been aggressively handled pre-game (legalyl), to get it "sticky" enough for the QB. Every running play, it's being slammed by 250# men running into each other - the ball's in the middle of every collision. Valve's aren't perfect; just like with Hoppy' pee-pee, you'd expect a little bit of leakage.

2. How accurate are the gauges used by the officials to measure the pressure? Old-school dials, or digital?

3. Every time I've inserted a needle to pump up a ball, a little air has leaked out. Not a ton, but enough, I'd guess, to account for 0.1 or 0.2 PSI. You can't measure the pressure of the ball without altering the pressure of the ball.

4. How certain are we that the officials actually pumped the balls up to exactly 12.5 PSI to begin with? This has never been an issue before; how precise were they being? If they know the Pats wanted the balls to be on the low end of the legal range, how do we know if they were exactly 12.5, or maybe they were 12.3 or 12.4 and no one cared?

The balls are getting warmed up as they prep them, before the officials pump them up to 12.5 PSI. Everything the Pats (legally) do to prepare the balls for the game is going to involve friction - getting the slickness off the ball's surface. So, the balls will be a little warm when they're pumped up. Maybe they aren't pumped all the way to 12.5 - maybe it's 12.4. They lose a little pressure because it's getting colder. They're being knocked around, so maybe a little air leaks out from the valve. They get checked at halftime, and a little air leaks out when they're measured. Maybe the pressure gauge is off by a small amount.

The one question that I would LOVE to have an answer on - what usually happens? Have officials ever checked the pressure on the game balls at halftime before? How did those readings compare to the pre-game readings?

There's a lot of little things, nothing that alone would account for 2.0 PSI (was it 2.0? They've said "about two." Was it closer to 1.5?). Every one of these little things, the net result is going to be a little bit pressure. So, short of some actual evidence of intent - some ballboy breaking under pressure, or a fan with a camera catching a peek at some shenanigans, or anything else - can people please just shut the **** up and let's actually talk about the mother****ing football game?

Holy hell...shut up. Guilty

 

[HoppyDaze]

Who said 2lbs? Mortensen? Just because that was the first report doesn't make it right. Not saying it is wrong either, but show me an NFL investigators report showing 2 lbs each. I think we all took the 2 lbs for fact, but I'm not sure it is.

holy ****....shut up about it already. You cheated, now shut up

 

[bob1852]

Wait, bluemoose was the one who deflated the balls?

 

[HoppyDaze]

Yes

 

[Cape Brewing]

Stop the bull****. The balls COULD NOT HAVE NATURALLY deflated that much regardless of conditions. PERIOD!

I don't want anything to happen prior to the Super Bowl. I want the Hawks to stomp the crap out of the cheaters legit, then have the NFL do what is right and fine/penalize the **** out of the cheaters.

If the integrity of the game means ANYTHING, the NFL MUST do something or risk becoming the next WWF.

(fart)

 

[dtgrdn]

so if it's all related to the game and the weather and the players falling on the balls, how do the Green Bay Packers keep air in the footballs when they play in temps below 32? One would think that by the end of the first quarter all of the balls would be flat. I've seen teams play games in 10 degree weather and the balls don't seem to lose much air.

I'm not saying anyone cheating, it's just my observation

 

[GenIke]

First person to guess how many candies in the jar, without going over, wins an ANDY DALTON PRO BOWL JERSEY!!

 

[dtgrdn]

is the candy made of that air from the footballs?

 

[Cape Brewing]

yeeeeeeah

 

[Cape Brewing]

In Tommy's defense... The ball probably feels heavier because all of those Super Bowl rings.

 

[GenIke]

He's got 3*, right?

 

[paulthenurse]

He'll have four a week from now.

 

[day_trippr]

For the last week every time the Fivehead is mentioned it's like all of the NFL pontificators are standing at his death bed shaking their heads. It sure seems the popular opinion out there is Fivehead should retire - and Denver would prefer he not return.

If that's true it's gonna be a sad moment for the sport. As must as I loved it when he had his ass handed to him everytime he landed in Foxboro he's still a pretty good QB when he's not hobbled by injury.

Anyway...what possible reasons are there for continuing the annual abomination called "The NFL Pro Bowl"?

Cheers!

 

[bob1852]

For the last week every time the Fivehead is mentioned it's like all of the NFL pontificators are standing at his death bed shaking their heads. It sure seems the popular opinion out there is Fivehead should retire - and Denver would prefer he not return.

If that's true it's gonna be a sad moment for the sport. As must as I loved it when he had his ass handed to him everytime he landed in Foxboro he's still a pretty good QB when he's not hobbled by injury.

Anyway...what possible reasons are there for continuing the annual abomination called "The NFL Pro Bowl"?

Cheers!

Watching them shank extra points and FGs on the narrow goal posts?

 

[bluemoose]

To support the best players on your team? Oh... shoot, the Pats don't get to play in the probowl. Well I guess it is more interesting for loser teams. How are the Packers representatives doing?

 

[GenIke]

Team Irvin and team Carter? Those two teams are about as likable as the super bowl match up.

 

[GenIke]

To support the best players on your team? Oh... shoot, the Pats don't get to play in the probowl. Well I guess it is more interesting for loser teams. How are the Packers representatives doing?

I'm pissed off. Thanks for asking.

 

[Cape Brewing]

He's got 3*, right?

Whatever helps you sleep. I sleep just fine.

 

[ChshreCat]

He'll have four a week from now.

4 Super Bowl losses? I agree.

 

[GenIke]

oh zing!

 

[day_trippr]

Looks like Sherman's oral diarrhea got a head start on Media Week. That lad sure can talk.

Holy crap, the Seahawks - and America - are gonna wonder what the eff happened when the Pats unleash two weeks of major rage next Sunday.

It's gonna be like the Roman Colosseum in its carnal glory.
We're talking Jefferson making Lincoln HS pay!

I'd be wearing a rain slicker, full face shield and a snorkel if I was inside that stadium

Cheers!