Mother-in-law always whining about something - beer brewing "smell"

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Rev2010

Rev2010

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Not drunk, but needed to vent. My mother-in-law is one of those nagger types. I smoke *1* cigar a day outside when I get home from work, and that's not even every day as I sometimes skip a day here and there. She always complains about the smell two floors up so to this day I call her to tell her when I am going to smoke and she closes the windows. I was a single guy living on my own when I met my wife and we lived together in my place happily for 5 or 6 years. Her mother used to rent the 1st floor out but people kept recking the place so after renovating the 1st floor she asked us if we want to move in. I refused for a full year all the while she kept dropping the price of rent offering. Eventually it was too good to pass up and I'd thought we could save and move to my dream state of Hawaii eventually - but that's another story.

Anyhow, so today I brew my Belgian Wit and make a starter for the wife's Weizenbock. I clean up and *after* cleaning I get a call asking, "Petew... are you making da beer? Dee whole house stink...". I didn't spell that wrong, I'm jokingly trying to phonetically do her polish accent. I'm part Polish too so there's no offense meant there. I tell her, "Well I was brewing but I ended about 2 hours ago". And again she reiterates how she smells it so I told her to open her windows.

Here's the thing that really ticks me off... sometimes when she cooks the whole house smells like the armpit of a Guatemalan prison guard!! Literally the house wreaks a horrible horrible smell. But do I call her and complain?? No, of course not. I am a paying tenant yet I let her be.

I'm done with that as of today. If she's going to complain constantly I am going to complain as well every single chance I get. I'm officially at war now cause I'm sick of it. Even her marriage is ruined and her husband lives in the attic because he couldn't take it anymore. OK, /rantoff


Rev.
 
Hah! Much love amigo... I thank the Lord daily that my wife and the girls and I live sequestered on some acreage way outside any established city. And my family is closest, at about 45 minutes away. Her's are in Miami, many hours away...
 
Tell her to get bent and get your own place! I've had a mother-in-law for almost 16 years and have damn near regretted almost every minute of it!
 
Well, you can take some comfort in that you're contributing to her death with secondhand smoke atleast.
 
Wait, how old is she? You do know that there is a law somewhere that once a person turns 70 they no longer have to "watch what they say". At least that is what my DB keeps telling me when his mom goes off.
 
Man, I feel your pain! My wife and I have been together since 2000. We moved in with her parents for one year in 2008 so we could all save money since we all moved to KC at the same time. Almost destroyed my marriage, dude.

If anyone married person reads this and is even considering living with their in-laws or parents, think long and hard about it before doing so. We took the time to discuss boundaries and expectations. But, guess what? All that went straight out the window as soon as we all moved in together. For some reason, the parents thought we were still kids that needed

1. to be fed dinner everyday. Got some dirty looks when we dared to eat out without calling*

2. to be told how to spend our money. I even heard "do you have a money tree down there?" twice.

3. to hear every scrap of gossip about every member of the nearby and extended family.

And I'm in my freakin' forties!

I'm sure there is another side to this story. There had to be things the in-laws hated about living with us, as well.

The only reason I would ever do this again is if one of my parents or her parents were sick and indigent (I do have some compassion). I don't know how people live together with parents in other cultures. But, doesn't seem very viable in America. At least in my family's America.

I actually started my interest in homebrewing during the time I lived with the in-laws but couldn't start the hobby because I knew there was going to be some backlash and hell to pay for brewing beer at home. I waited until we didn't all live together. There is a LOT of compromise to be made in these situations.

*EDIT: We told her not to cook for us because we were making lifestyle changes related to the amount of food we consumed. But, she would just do it anyway and get mad when we wouldn't eat it.
 
Thinking back on it now when we lived with my parents they did a lot of smelly **** and never complained. My brother the pot head made the house smell of skunk, my other brother like to put his wet sneakers under his bed to dry out. I was the cat box cleaner if my parents weren't home because my brothers couldn't be assed to clean up after their cats. My mother decided to start saving turtles from the pool and kept them in a tank that she firmly believed only looked good in front of the AC intake. No one complained about any of the smells from that junk but every time I brewed a starter insie on the stove it wasWHAAAAATT!
 
Rev2010 said:
If she's going to complain constantly I am going to complain as well every single chance I get. I'm officially at war now cause I'm sick of it.
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I would recommend against this. As the saying goes, "Never argue with an idiot. They will only drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." If you start complaining, then she will probably see this as license to start complaining as well, as I'm sure she doesn't think she's complaining now. Your best bet is to get out. Maybe that's why the previous tenants kept wrecking the place, to get out of the lease.
 
Yeah I tend to agree with passed. But then again you are paying rent. Hmm maybe it's just time to move on out.
 
Dkmount721 said:
Yeah I tend to agree with passed. But then again you are paying rent. Hmm maybe it's just time to move on out.
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If you're paying rent and the house is separated so that it's usable by tenants then Passed's line of thinking doesn't work. That's akin to me living next door to my land lord and him being all over my ass.

EDIT posting from my phone fail.
 
I'd also recommend you to just bite your tongue, nothing good can come from being an a-hole to your MIL. She complains, you say 'uh-huh, sorry" and do what you're gonna do.
 
No, I'm still going to complain when she stinks up the house cause then she will see this isn't a one sided situation. I honestly think she might think twice if I complain in retrospect.

Were not moving till we can move to another state or country like we want to. Besides, she would beg for us not to leave. She really believes the kids should live at home if there is space and not spend money giving rent to some stranger paying much more. Plus I'm sure she'd be very lonely and would have to rent again to strangers to help with the income.

Rev.
 
Rev2010 said:
No, I'm still going to complain when she stinks up the house cause then she will see this isn't a one sided situation. I honestly think she might think twice if I complain in retrospect.

Were not moving till we can move to another state or country like we want to. Besides, she would beg for us not to leave. She really believes the kids should live at home if there is space and not spend money giving rent to some stranger paying much more. Plus I'm sure she'd be very lonely and would have to rent again to strangers to help with the income.

Rev.
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Move to S. Florida and bring me a case of Nugget Nectar.
 
SwampassJ said:
Move to S. Florida and bring me a case of Nugget Nectar.
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My best friend lives in Maitland Florida and keeps trying to convince me to move out there. He moved over there with his daughter after he and the mother split. I just can't bring myself to move there.


Rev.
 
Rev2010 said:
My best friend lives in Maitland Florida and keeps trying to convince me to move out there. He moved over there with his daughter after he and the mother split. I just can't bring myself to move there.


Rev.
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Yeah I see your point. The rest of the state outside of the SE section is like being in Georgia or Alabama.
 
I lived with my ex-inlaws for almost 2 years because my ex-wife worked for her mother and was paid a sh$t salary. I moved up the ladder a little in my job and sold a piece of property I owned which got me to the point where I could afford rent myself. One day I just told her I was getting an apartment. They all hated me for it, but I stuck to my guns. We lasted 6 months living outside their house; she couldn't cut the cord.
 
SwampassJ said:
How many people just skim the OP then read the rest? He's ****ing renting the place. You wouldn't stand for a land lord doing this **** to you, would you?
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Thank you, yeah come on guys, we're not living here for free! I'm a 37 year old man, I pay rent, gas, electric, heating, phone, internet, cable, etc. Matter of fact, we generously *INCREASED* our rent ourselves an additional $100 a month this past year. She wasn't raising our rent and we felt it only fair to pay more (her work week had been cut to 4 days). She tried refusing but we convinced her to take the increase.

The point here is people need to be able to live and do their things. I'm a musician but I almost never crank it up and tear the house down. If I do play loud it's literally like 3 times a year and she'll still complain. But complaining about every little thing is petty and ridiculous. I only brew on the weekend, and not every single weekend. So she has the whole house odor free 6 out of 7 days a week, why bother complaining about it? I smoke only outside and only one a day and I call her to notify her to close her windows (won't be needing too soon with the colder weather coming) - but why complain?

I could come up with a million things to complain about. Her cooking smell, her calling us on the phone several times a day and interrupting us, etc. I also fix stuff for her all the time. I fixed her Central Air system that was only heating the house but not cooling it in the summer. She'd paid an electrician or whatever to install the new thermostat. Well he left out the U bracket which bridges two terminals. Got her cooling working this past summer. I'm a jack of all trades kind of guy so I've been very helpful to her many times. Think maybe she would appreciate it and ease up with the complaining.


Rev.
 
SwampassJ said:
How many people just skim the OP then read the rest? He's ****ing renting the place. You wouldn't stand for a land lord doing this **** to you, would you?
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1st, try not to get emotional. It's a beer forum. Chill.

2nd, yes, I did miss the I'm renting thing. I did read the full OP, but I was in Evelyn Woods speedreading skim mode.

Finally, what option do you have when your landlord institutes rules you don't like? I'd still say that if you don't like living there, you leave. The landlord isn't going to leave.
 
Dealt with this for a year, SWMBO got in a fight with her mom (about me, of course) so i got out without being the *******. Now that we're in our own apartment everyone gets along. And it's doubly bad if you have a kid.
 
My current living situation at school is with 2 old crones (sisters) owning the house and constantly complaining about my stuff in the house that I pay to live in 7 days a week, when they come around for the 2 or 3 on weekends (without warning, they show up then, make snipes about my stuff being out.) Thought I could handle it getting back into school year but less than a month in its been causing me serious anxiety- do what I'm doing- GTFO!!!
 
Well, as of another week or so it will be a moot point I guess as today I ordered a Blichmann floor burner with the leg extentions - gonna take the majority of my brewing outside. Not because of my mother in law but because I can't bring even a 5 gallon volume to a boil on my stove with my new Blichmann pot. So whenever I intend to brew and the weather allows it will be outside. When I can't brew outside cause of the weather I will do it like I've been - partial boils on the stovetop.


Rev.
 
I think you should just tell her that you are a paying renter and that she can put up with the smell once in a while. Seriously. I don't call the neighbors cause their dog barks once in a while. It's a fact of life that when people live close enough to each other, you have to allow them some slack. It's not like you're brewing 2-3 times a week, right? right?
 
My MIL actually liked the smell... She would come over on brew days just so she could "take in that wonderful aroma".... I miss her. (I was one lucky SOB)
 
ceannt said:
My MIL actually liked the smell... She would come over on brew days just so she could "take in that wonderful aroma".... I miss her. (I was one lucky SOB)
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My best memory of my ex-mil was when I loudly threw her out of my house. Good times.
 
Rev2010 said:
sometimes when she cooks the whole house smells like the armpit of a Guatemalan prison guard!!
Click to expand...


WTF?!? Is that worse or better than smelling Satan’s anus? Let us use some logic here guys, there might be another adjective that Rev has created out of desperation!
 

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