Mistakes in Parenting

[SharonaZamboni]

Twenty plus years ago, my youngest was in a walker (the wheelie kind-it was a long time ago), oldest was with friends in the kitchen, drawing. My middle one, 2 1/2 years old, ran out the front door as he did about thirty times a day.
I stood in front of the door to fruitlessly call him back, blocking baby walker access.
I heard "brrr, brr, brr, brr...thunk". It was the walker going down the basement stairs and landing on the concrete floor. Oldest had gone downstairs to sharpen a pencil, and left the door open.

Felt like a total jerk at the ER, but only a possibly broken nose, which never did look too bruised or swollen. Sounded like the walker had skated down the flight of stairs before overturning at the bottom, which I guess was better than baby tumbling head over heels the whole way.

Next day, I'm sitting with my neighbor on our cement steps when my son comes running full tilt, trips, and bashes the bridge of his nose directly on the edge of the step. WTF??!! Thankfully, he seemed okay and I didn't need to make a second broken nose ER visit.

My son also would launch himself sideways from the basket area of the small CVS carts, overturning the cart while his baby sister was sitting in the front seat area. I had a good six years of mental trauma from those kids. Shopping was always a total nightmare.

 

[TheMadKing]

Went camping with my brothers family this weekend at a warm swampy mosquito infested lake full of weeds and algae blooms (last time he gets to pick a place to camp EVER). It was in the 105F range all weekend, so he and his wife were taking turns playing with their 1 year old and 3 year old in the lake.

The children were butt naked, and zero attempt was made to stop the kids from ingesting said nasty-a** lake water. The 1 yo then proceeded to get the sh*ts, and they were pure white and frequent. My brothers response to his son's giardia/cryptospridium infection? "meh it builds his immune system."

I wanted to punch him in his stupid mouth and take the poor kid to the doctor (which we eventually talked them into doing).

I got all the good genes in the family.

 

[normonster]

Went camping with my brothers family this weekend at a warm swampy mosquito infested lake full of weeds and algae blooms (last time he gets to pick a place to camp EVER). It was in the 105F range all weekend, so he and his wife were taking turns playing with their 1 year old and 3 year old in the lake.

The children were butt naked, and zero attempt was made to stop the kids from ingesting said nasty-a** lake water. The 1 yo then proceeded to get the sh*ts, and they were pure white and frequent. My brothers response to his son's giardia/cryptospridium infection? "meh it builds his immune system."

I wanted to punch him in his stupid mouth and take the poor kid to the doctor (which we eventually talked them into doing).

I got all the good genes in the family.

**** man...just....sh*t. It was white? I hope he makes it.

 

[TheMadKing]

**** man...just....sh*t. It was white? I hope he makes it.

He's fine, he had cryptosporidium, so some antibiotics cleared him right up.

 

[normonster]

Good to know. I'd still have to give my brother some crap though, which I'm sure you'll take care of...lol

 

[sfgoat]

Just today I caught my son climbing the hallway wall like he was Spider-Man and while he was at the top I told him to get down and right at that second he loses his grip and falls and of course his brother is walking right below him as this happens so his ass falls right on top of his brothers head whiched dropped his brother instantly but causes him to flip forward face first into the wall making him bite his tongue pretty bad.

The worst part of this is I automatically defaulted to angry dad and while picking them both up and checking their injuries I am screaming at them about how stupid it all was. Not my proudest moment and I had to eat my pride afterwards and apologize to them for reacting badly. Scared the **** out of me though. I thought one broke his neck and the other broke his teeth. So I've been feeling like scumbag father of the year all day.

 

[slym2none]

Yeah, all this... this is why I am not a father. All this would happen to me. All of it.



Well, that & no woman is dumb enough to ever let me be the father of her children.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Twenty plus years ago, my youngest was in a walker (the wheelie kind-it was a long time ago), oldest was with friends in the kitchen, drawing. My middle one, 2 1/2 years old, ran out the front door as he did about thirty times a day.
I stood in front of the door to fruitlessly call him back, blocking baby walker access.
I heard "brrr, brr, brr, brr...thunk". It was the walker going down the basement stairs and landing on the concrete floor. Oldest had gone downstairs to sharpen a pencil, and left the door open.

Felt like a total jerk at the ER, but only a possibly broken nose, which never did look too bruised or swollen. Sounded like the walker had skated down the flight of stairs before overturning at the bottom, which I guess was better than baby tumbling head over heels the whole way.

Next day, I'm sitting with my neighbor on our cement steps when my son comes running full tilt, trips, and bashes the bridge of his nose directly on the edge of the step. WTF??!! Thankfully, he seemed okay and I didn't need to make a second broken nose ER visit.

My son also would launch himself sideways from the basket area of the small CVS carts, overturning the cart while his baby sister was sitting in the front seat area. I had a good six years of mental trauma from those kids. Shopping was always a total nightmare.

Your comments about shopping with kids reminds me of shopping with my mother. When I was about 4, I used to slip away from my mother in the dept store; hide in the clothes racks & jump out roaring like a dinosaur, trying to scare random shoppers. It's been 47 years & I still giggle over that. Thanks for jogging my memory.
Regards, GF.

 

[Fedora]

Just today I caught my son climbing the hallway wall like he was Spider-Man and while he was at the top I told him to get down and right at that second he loses his grip and falls and of course his brother is walking right below him as this happens so his ass falls right on top of his brothers head whiched dropped his brother instantly but causes him to flip forward face first into the wall making him bite his tongue pretty bad.

The worst part of this is I automatically defaulted to angry dad and while picking them both up and checking their injuries I am screaming at them about how stupid it all was. Not my proudest moment and I had to eat my pride afterwards and apologize to them for reacting badly. Scared the **** out of me though. I thought one broke his neck and the other broke his teeth. So I've been feeling like scumbag father of the year all day.

A natural reaction. Panic and anger. I used to climb the hallway walls like that when I was a kid. Good times.

 

[ChemEng]

I was getting dressed this morning when my son (14 months old) woke up. I went into his room, changed and dressed him and took him into the master bathroom with me closing the bedroom door behind me so he could run around while I brushed my teeth.

when my wife left for work she opened the bedroom door and didn't close the baby gate at the top of the stairs. I didn't see this because my son and I were in the bathroom. I think he was trying to put the bathroom rug into the bath tub.

I lean down to spit and when I look up he is gone........

It sounded like someone rolled a sac of potatoes down the stairs. I knew exactly what it was immediately.

My wife and I converged on him at the same time. He was wedged between the bottom step and the bottom baby gate (which was closed).

By some miracle he wasn't hurt at all (That kid is tough as a pine knot). Just scared the sheet out of him. I was so scared I was shaking. I feel like a POS for letting it happen. Will probably feel that way for a longtime for this one.

 

[DrunkleJon]

When I was a baby anytime I was put in a walker (wheeled contraption to let a crawling age kid be more mobile, terrible idea) I would head straight for the stairs. Yeah they forgot to close the door on occasion. I turned out okay though.

 

[Jwin]

My girl took a tumble down the basement stairs around 14 months. 15 wood stairs. Got a shiner and a other bruises. Was playing fine 20 minutes later. Went to her pediatrician a bit later. Her response, after 30+ years of practice, "Yeah they're made of rubber at that age aren't they."
Swmbo's fault btw...
Worst I've done is smash some fingers.

 

[SnakeRidge]

For all you guys who feel bad about kicking your children, my dad hit me in the face with a 12 pound sledge when I was about 8.

We were patching a tractor tire, had it laid down driving wedges in to pop the tire off the rim. I'm standing behind my dad on the tire daydreaming. Next thing I know, the old man is going down and I got a sledge hammer right between the eyes.

Turns out, he missed the wedge, hit the tire and the sledge bounced back. I came to with him yelling at me and my mom yelling at him. "********* Danny you hit your son with a hammer!"

That was the third matching set of black eyes I got on his watch. I've turned out pretty well. I'm a scientist at a pretty esteemed university but I can't help but wonder what kind of power I might have had if not for all the early head trauma.

 

[flars]

My girl took a tumble down the basement stairs around 14 months. 15 wood stairs. Got a shiner and a other bruises. Was playing fine 20 minutes later. Went to her pediatrician a bit later. Her response, after 30+ years of practice, "Yeah they're made of rubber at that age aren't they."
Swmbo's fault btw...
Worst I've done is smash some fingers.

How did it happen that you smashed the kids fingers?

 

[Jwin]

How did it happen that you smashed the kids fingers?

Depenfs, do you have any association with the state of Tennessee?

 

[Hoppity]

For all you guys who feel bad about kicking your children, my dad hit me in the face with a 12 pound sledge when I was about 8.

We were patching a tractor tire, had it laid down driving wedges in to pop the tire off the rim. I'm standing behind my dad on the tire daydreaming. Next thing I know, the old man is going down and I got a sledge hammer right between the eyes.

Turns out, he missed the wedge, hit the tire and the sledge bounced back. I came to with him yelling at me and my mom yelling at him. "********* Danny you hit your son with a hammer!"

That was the third matching set of black eyes I got on his watch. I've turned out pretty well. I'm a scientist at a pretty esteemed university but I can't help but wonder what kind of power I might have had if not for all the early head trauma.

Maybe he knocked some sense into you.

 

[dr0ker]

That's just environmentally friendly recycling. My dog is currently designated to doing that duty. He now loves having babies around.


My wife just (7/1!) gave birth to our second. A girl!



Damn, that's floccin scary. Our boy is 21 months, and I thought I was getting a pretty good handle on what I should do as a parent. Not anymore. Not at all.
One thing that gives me solace is that she has an older brother.


I can't wait to see what I'm going to do to screw this up. Thankfully there's this thread to document my failings!

Mine our 17 months apart. I look back and it feels like the terrible 2's as they are called lasted for a very long time, but really it is just that the kids started listening and communicating really well around the age of 5. Now they are 9 (boy) and almost 8 (girl). They play together and almost act like twins at times. It is awesome having them so close despite the challenges during the younger years.

 

[SharonaZamboni]

How did it happen that you smashed the kids fingers?

Car doors used to be big for that.

Maybe he knocked some sense into you.

HaHahaha! That cracked me up!

 

[SharonaZamboni]

My sister is considerably older than I , and her daughter was born when I was three. My niece and I never got along well, and my sister often threatened to "knock your heads together"- an old saying, for you younguns.

OMG, she really DID knock our heads together at least once. Don't do that! Unless you've got two handfuls of bad guys' hair. It was awful.

 

[Fedora]

My sister is considerably older than I , and her daughter was born when I was three. My niece and I never got along well, and my sister often threatened to "knock your heads together"- an old saying, for you younguns.

OMG, she really DID knock our heads together at least once. Don't do that! Unless you've got two handfuls of bad guys' hair. It was awful.

I read that thinking of the goonies, when Sloth smacked his brothers heads together on the pirate ship.

Hey, you guys!!

 

[SnakeRidge]

Maybe he knocked some sense into you.

Well, he certainly threatened to enough.

 

[TinyHands]

Against my better judgement, one more from when the same boy was about two. We had just moved into this rent house that had a five step stair off the back porch with no hand rail. I was in the back yard taking some meat off the smoker. The back door was supposed to be shut. I'm sure you see where this is going.

I turned around with a platter full of pork roast and watched powerlessly, almost in slow motion as my son fell headfirst off the top step. He landed on his face in the dirt then full on scorpioned. I thought his neck was broken. It had to be. I dropped the platter of meat and scooped him up. He was fine. Scratched his face and knocked the wind out of him.

We took him to the doctor anyway. I'll never forget that.

Edit. And I installed a hand rail the next day.

Our toddler pulled almost this exact same maneuver. Cried for five seconds, then ran off to find his juice.

These little sprouts are tough, eh? I used to joke that "they're mostly cartilage at this point, so they bounce" just to make parents mad, but there seems to be a bit of truth to it.

 

[DrunkleJon]

I think part of it is the same as why drunk drivers tend to survive car accidents better. When they fall, instead of tensing up to catch themselves they relax and fall like a sack of grain and as a result dont get hurt as bad. Plus they are halfway to Wolverine healing factor as it is.

Its always fun to watch a kid that does not know you are watching. They fall down and hurt themselves sniffle a little, look around, and if no one saw they go on as they were. If someone sees thats when the face turns red and schrivels like a raisin before the ear splitting shriek/crying starts.

 

[Tin4]

My little dude took a fall off the couch when he was wrestling with his sister.

​

He cried and cried and cried. I think more over the fact he lost to his sister than anything else.

 

[rlmiller10]

These little sprouts are tough, eh? I used to joke that "they're mostly cartilage at this point, so they bounce" just to make parents mad, but there seems to be a bit of truth to it.[/QUOTE]

Used the same joke myself. Always got a scowl from the wifey.

But if I was there and told our daughter, "hey good one, you bounce well" she would be fine. Wifey there with "oh you poor baby" and scoop her up and there was crying for 10 minutes.

 

[Psylocide]

My little dude took a fall off the couch when he was wrestling with his sister.

He cried and cried and cried. I think more over the fact he lost to his sister than anything else.

Oh man, I have a doozy.


So, my 2 year old spent the whole week with my parents at our lake cabin... and obviously, upon her arrival at our home, she was spoiled rotten.

She kept saying "no" to everything (more than usual), and started hitting. She hit her mom, she hit me, she hit the dog.

Naturally, I sent her to her room and told her she could come out if she said sorry. That would have been the end of it.

Instead, she decided to run out and hit us all again and scream "NO" in my face.

So, I spanked her. She didn't care at first, so I turned it up a notch and made her cry (which sucks).

About 20 mins later I notice that she has 3 small welts on her leg where my fingers hit bare skin. Perfect outline.

She's over it by this point, and I'm feeling bad, when she launches off the couch and hits her nose square on the table. Eyes swelled up, face got all red and I thought she may have broken it. She screamed and screamed.

The swelling went down and luckily my hand print went away before she went off to daycare the next day.

That would have been a fun one to try to explain to the DSS.

 

[hunter_le five]

So, my 2 year old spent the whole week with my parents at our lake cabin... and obviously, upon her arrival at our home I spanked her. She didn't care at first, so I turned it up a notch and hit her nose square on. I may have broken it.

TL;DR, you monster.

 

[Psylocide]

TL;DR, you monster.

Lol.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Not my kid, just saw this & thought it belonged here.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Not my kid, just saw this & thought it belonged here.

Its the Kid Cone of Shame.

You know, I bet that kid had a blast playing spaceman before he realized he couldn't get it off again.