Its probably best that I don't own a sports team...

[CreamyGoodness]

... Seeing as how I know nothing about sports and would use my imaginary wealth just to give my teams new the most ridiculous names I can think of.

What could be better than sending 300 lb. Floridian genetic freaks to to field announced as the Tampa Bay Ball Bags. I'd put a pair of fuzzy nuts on the side of their helmets too, and if they complain Id say "I'm paying you the GDP of a small country. Put those yogurt spheres on your head, get out there and shut it. Now lets go bag 'em!"

The stupidity wouldnt end there. I would specifically seek out talented athletes named Stone, Sack etc. Lest someone think I had culturally biased hiring practices, I would throw in a few Weiners, Wangs, and Dongs. With my riches I would offer one gentlemen a sign-on bonus if he changes his name to Cockfoster DeCules.

Announcing for my team should be a lot of fun. "Weiner goes long, weiner passes to DeCules, DeCules is at the 30 yard line.... OOOOOOOHHHH!!! DeCules gets sacked!"

Touchdown dances would involve plastic spoons full of plain Fage flung at the crowd, each other, and the opposing team.

I'd insist that losing to my team would be referred to as "getting tea-bagged." It wouldnt be a political thing though.


Maybe things being as they are currently is for the best...

 

[Billy-Klubb]

... Seeing as how I know nothing about sports and would use my imaginary wealth just to give my teams new the most ridiculous names I can think of.

What could be better than sending 300 lb. Floridian genetic freaks to to field announced as the Tampa Bay Ball Bags. I'd put a pair of fuzzy nuts on the side of their helmets too, and if they complain Id say "I'm paying you the GDP of a small country. Put those yogurt spheres on your head, get out there and shut it. Now lets go bag 'em!"

The stupidity wouldnt end there. I would specifically seek out talented athletes named Stone, Sack etc. Lest someone think I had culturally biased hiring practices, I would throw in a few Weiners, Wangs, and Dongs. With my riches I would offer one gentlemen a sign-on bonus if he changes his name to Cockfoster DeCules.

Announcing for my team should be a lot of fun. "Weiner goes long, weiner passes to DeCules, DeCules is at the 30 yard line.... OOOOOOOHHHH!!! DeCules gets sacked!"

Touchdown dances would involve plastic spoons full of plain Fage flung at the crowd, each other, and the opposing team.

I'd insist that losing to my team would be referred to as "getting tea-bagged." It wouldnt be a political thing though.


Maybe things being as they are currently is for the best...

no. no, we need to make this happen. then I would own a team and start a bitter rivalry between them. I would buy the Packers and move them to Wyoming and call them Rozet Sheep Shaggers. we will sit in our luxury sky boxes and trade home brews. I will fill a hot tub with Heady Topper and 12 midgets. I will pay them all to change their names Ted and have them trained in kung fu so when our team starts losing, The 12 Teds will storm the field and bust out some hoppy scented justice.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

You had me at hot tub full of midgets.

 

[jhoneycutt]

I was wandering how long it's take you to weigh in on this ridiculous subject. Pure gold as expected. Lol

 

[Gar]

Man if sports kicked azz like that id be a #1 fan. i can see it now cars running around with ball bagger or sheep shagger on board. stick figures with ball bags or drilling sheep. ok i think we need to get the old collection plate out as these guys are visionaries.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

I will fill a hot tub with Heady Topper and 12 midgets. I will pay them all to change their names Ted and have them trained in kung fu so when our team starts losing, The 12 Teds will storm the field and bust out some hoppy scented justice.

I'd pay money to see that. :rockin:

As for odd team names, we've got one here in Missoula I've always though was a bit odd:
http://www.maggots.org/

Maggotfest happens every year & a good time is had by all.
Regards, GF.