Is it legal to lock a teen in a cage until 21?

[thood6]

Speaking of,

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/i-teen-once-314837/index2.html

The video there says it all

 

[day_trippr]

"drinking paint thinner"?

Woof! That is definitely hard core. Wouldn't even want to think how years that takes off a liver's usable lifespan.

Things have sure changed since my time, when all we did was weed, hash, acid, peyote, 'shrooms...

You know, the basically harmless stuff...

Cheers!

 

[OrdinaryAvgGuy]

Butt chugging?! Nutmeg and cinnamon? WTF is wrong with teens today? I recall doing some really dumb $hit as a teen but this is getting out of hand.

BTW, I always enjoy reading your threads. They are not only entertaining but occasionally informative.

 

[Goofynewfie]

I have a 11 yr old boy and 9&10 yr old daughters. Im not sure if ive mentioned it before but my son is possibly autistic, going through lots of testing over the years but no definitive diagnosis. So here is my 2¢.
There is nothing wrong with not being ready, you are never ready, and the closer the due date is the more unsure about your readiness you will be. You just do what you can and try to steer them in the right direction and hope for the best. You will love them no matter what, even if there are days you feel like killing them and question what you were thinking. .but decide if you WANT kids.... Thats the question. The when will take care of itself.

 

[ladodger34]

A few last things..

I worked with a guy many years ago that didn't want kids. He said it took him a while to find a girl that felt the same way, but it was worth it to him.

Having 3 kids, I know how much work they are and that's why I respect the heck out of people who honestly make the decision that they don't want to do it. The guy I worked with would have been a heck of a father I think, but it just wasn't what he wanted to do in life. More power to him.

All that said, there really is no right time to have kids. Even when you think you are ready for them, you have no idea what is in store for you. My best friend and his wife are due in a few weeks. They are ready and really want them, but they are going to be in a world of hurt for a bit.

Two last things..

Too bad people can't mind they own dang bidness when it comes to the "when are the kiddos coming?" question. It's way to personal. I think you should start getting all graphic (even if it isn't true).. "we've been charting her basal temperature and going at it like crazy when we think she is going to ovulate but it just hasn't happened yet.. can you tell me how you did it?"*

And the last most important thing.. if you talked about having kids and wanted them before you got married, man up and do it. If not, let her go find someone else who wants to have kids.

* disclaimer: this could backfire and you could get into a way uncomfortable situation.

 

[adiochiro3]

Don't have kids! I speak from experience -- I have three adult "kids." They will completely weasel their way into your heart from the moment they hit the atmosphere until they leave for college. Then they will ache your heart (yes -- I mean "ache") as they drive away, travel, marry, settle in another city hours away, and generally enjoy life experiences with others that were once only yours to enjoy with them.

And did I mention how fast time flies as they grow up? I constantly ask my friends, "How did we get here so fast?"

In all the seriousness worthy of your query, do NOT have kids if you really do not want the responsibility. My wife -- a high school teacher -- sees way too much of that.

If you decide to have kids, commit to pouring yourself into your relationship with them and their mom. By this I mean, eating at the table together (no TV, etc.); attending dances, games, concerts, etc.; teach them stuff like fishing, woodworking, cooking -- all the stuff you like to do they really want to do with you. That stuff provides the moments and connections kids crave and generally keeps kids from doing most of the stupid stuff referenced earlier in this thread. Plus, you'll have a devoted buddy to share in your favorite things.

Of course, they will still do stupid stuff. We call those "teachable moments" in our house.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Unfortunately all my current hobbies involve fire. That precludes the first couple years right there.

 

[ladodger34]

Unfortunately all my current hobbies involve fire. That precludes the first couple years right there.

My boys help me bottle my beers. They love filling the bottles and helping me with the capper.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

yeah the capper is pretty fun.

 

[PistolsAtDawn]

There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not both terrorized and enamored with my son and daughter. Best thing ever. 10x better than a dog! LMAO

Nothing is better than a dog. Be realistic, sir!

I worked with a guy many years ago that didn't want kids. He said it took him a while to find a girl that felt the same way, but it was worth it to him.

It is worth it, but I will also acknowledge that it was pretty hard. When I was single I could eliminate 99% of prospects with two questions:

1. Do you want kids?
2. Are you religious?

Just a yes to either one was a deal breaker for me for any long-term relationship.

BUT it's worth it to be honest with yourself about what you want. If that means - as it does in my case - that you don't want kids, you will be making one of the worst decisions in the world if you fall into a long term relationship with someone who does. There are two realistic scenarios if that should happen: you have kids that you don't want, you break up. The former is FAR worse I think as you will never be as committed of a parent as you should be and those kids will suffer for it.

 

[SudsyPaul]

I don't know you at all as a person, but if you're married to a woman that wants a child, and you don't... you probably should have had that discussion before you got married.
From what I can tell, you're just hestitant because of the stupid **** you see/hear on TV. But for all the thousands of teens/kids you see doing stupid **** on the internet, there are hundreds of thousands of good/safe kids you don't see. Those that do that nonsense and post on Youtube are numerous, but they are the minority.

I can't speak on the teenager front, my daughter isn't even 1, but I hope my parenting is high-quality enough that my daughter knows better than to do the stupid **** that kids do nowadays.

I have friends with teenage kids, and they don't do the extreme stupid stuff... they do stupid things like post videos of themselves lipsyncing on youtube, and have dumb kid-drama on Facebook, but that's just today's society. The internet makes everything public and immortalizes your stupidity. I'm happy the internet wasn't popular until I was older, because I would be effed.

All in all... it comes down to being a quality parent and teaching your kid to THINK. That's all I can do for my daughter. She'll get into tricky situations, I'm sure, but hopefully I've taught her enough to get out of whatever problems she has without hurting anybody or herself.

I'll echo what others have said about having a child, too. I can have horrible days at work, where my commute home involves me daydreaming about running people off the road, then I get home and my daughter smiles and *poof*, 100% of my stress and frustration disappears.

I was opposed to kids until I was in my mid-20s, and now I can't imagine a life where my daughter didn't exist.

 

[MalFet]

In my anecdotal experience, there is nothing more fascinating in this world to young toddlers (~1 y.o. - 2 y.o.) than brewing gear. Given a shallow pan of water, a spray bottle, a vinator, and a couple of plastic bottles, my kid could have entertained himself for hours. Then at 3, he became obsessed with my scales, my refractometer, and my measuring scoops. Anything that you're interested in will be irresistible to your little scamp.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I think the best explanation I have for what I am feeling is the fact that I agonize over every big decision. I did about moving in with SWMBO, and then about getting married, and now about this. The difference is that getting married didnt really change anything... and fortunately or unfortunately... there is still an "out".

Every time, it seems, I start feeling like I have all the information I need and I can see myself as a father I see or read something that makes me recoil in terror. Like the dad who took his eyes off his toddler for less than 30 seconds and it wound up getting flip kicked 10 feet up in the air by a breakdancer. Seriously, think Guile from Streetfighter.

We let my landlord's daughter in the house to charge her phone while she waited for her parents and she told stories about living in our apartment. Apparently her baby brother got his head caught in the bars on the back door. Great.

Or when Im on the train and there's a beautiful cute kid. And I smile and think, "yeah I could do this"... and then the little bastard lets out a high pitched scream that all but shatters the glass windows. And everyone looks at his dad like "shut the kid up or kill it I dont care which".

 

[PistolsAtDawn]

Is having kids one of those decisions that you should just know to be the right decision one way or another? If you want them, shouldn't you just know?

I'm honestly asking, not being snarky or whatever. I didn't always KNOW I didn't want them because I'd never given it any serious consideration since it was always one of those "Future Me" decisions that I didn't need to make.

Are you perhaps just seriously considering this for the first time?

 

[adiochiro3]

Unfortunately all my current hobbies involve fire. That precludes the first couple years right there.

Yeah, but the first few years precludes a whole bunch of fun things: motorcycles, backpacking, abalone diving, firearms, power tools, and liquid nitrogen, to name a few. Like great beer, your patience WILL be rewarded with all kinds of fun.

All 3 of mine LOVE fire, and can start fires with multiple methods and tend a fire with the best of them. SAFELY. I taught them all of that (much to momma's chagrin) :rockin: We've even got pictures! Here's my teenage son starting our evening campfire at hunt camp -- I won't say how ;-)

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Daddy was soooooo proud!

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Is having kids one of those decisions that you should just know to be the right decision one way or another? I KNOW that I don't want 'em.

If you want them, shouldn't you just know?

I'm honestly asking, not being snarky or whatever. I didn't always KNOW I didn't want them because I'd never given it any serious consideration since it was always one of those "Future Me" decisions that I didn't need to make.

Are you perhaps just seriously considering this for the first time?

I've been belaboring it for roughly 15 years now.

 

[TxBrew]

Have eight in rapid succession. Have the first four raise the last four.

You're welcome.

 

[HawksBrewer]

Have eight in rapid succession. Have the first four raise the last four.

You're welcome.

Definitely this.

 

[Varmintman]

Hey I am kind of tired of paying everything for my kid. I think it is time she started earning her way now. So for anybody that does not know if they want a kid I have one you can rent. Heck if this goes over good I might have another sort of a old age pension kind of thing

 

[DrunkleJon]

Kids are... kids. I think the mordern stupidity is worse because they are no longer able to do the little stupid things. Too much regulation, not enough actual parentling. It seems the really deviant children are the ones raised by the television and other kids in the schoolyard and do not have good parental role models. I feel for you Creamy, and no one can made the descision for you and SWMBO, except for you, her and your little soldiers (accidents happen after all). Since I have never met you in person, and my only judgement is from such threads as the Okra mead, I really can't say for certain but you seem like someone who would put as much if not more attention and dedication to your spawn as you do your creations and brews. I feel that you would make a good dad if just because you care enough to be this worried about it in the first place.

Talk it all out with SWMBO. Express your concerns and if you decide to go with it, be a parent that is there. Sure, you will have lots of headaches, miss plenty of sleep, and have less money to spend on ingredients and equipment, but then again, you would be investing an a brew assistant.

Take our advice, or don't. We are the faceless legion that is the internet. We do not know crap. We could be sabataging you and laughing as you drink warm boot slime. Then again, the folks on here mostly seem to be good people who really want to help out. All in all, just remember our adviceare just our opinions and as my cousin said to me many a year ago: "Opinions are like A-holes. Everyone has one, and everyone thinks that everybody elses' stinks."

Cheers!

 

[PistolsAtDawn]

Take our advice, or don't. We are the faceless legion that is the internet. We do not know crap. We could be sabataging you and laughing as you drink warm boot slime.

Boot slime is best COLD thankyouverymuch!

 

[forstmeister]

My wife and I didn't plan our first 3 kids, they just "happened." The 4th (and last) was planned. There are days when it sucks to be a parent, kids have a way of tearing you down like nothing else imaginable. But, there are days when you love it too. My oldest is turning 12 this summer (I have 4 girls, yes I know I should own lots of guns and buy stock in feminine hygiene companies...) and I don't recall not having kids anymore.

By the way, I didn't start brewing until I already had 4 kids. Don't let anyone tell you that you won't have time. It's all about prioritizing, and I feel it is a priority to have a hobby. Also, I do most of my brewing when the wife is at school on the weekends and I have all 4 kids to myself. That's the thing about kids, they are really good at entertaining themselves if you have more than one. Every parent I know who has only one kid asks to borrow one or more of mine regularly. My kids are respectful, resourceful, and can occupy themselves for hours at a time while I fiddle around in the kitchen on a brew day. BONUS: I incorporate my brewing in their learning process. My kids are home-schooled, and I use brewing as a science lesson for my oldest. We learned all about yeast propagation last week when I was making a starter for my IPA. But yes, a healthy respect for, and a fear of fire is important. My girls aren't even allowed to put things in the campfire yet (maybe the oldest this year).

 

[BobbiLynn]

My kids are both grown now, off to college. They are happy and healthy, didn't try any of those crazy things, that I know of. Heck, if I can successfully raise 2, you sure can. Just let them learn what not to do, by your example, and you'll be fine.

My son was planned, my daughter was not. No matter how hard it gets at times, you won't regret it. I can't even imagine them not existing. They mean everything to me. They are motivation to make the money needed to raise them. Having kids is a whole new ballgame, and you seem like a smart guy. And your wife seems like a smart lady. We need more smart people in the world to even out the stupidity of others.

 

[b-boy]

Hmm..Is there a connection between this thread and the recent baptism thread? Did your wife catch the baby bug at the baptism? I've seen it happen many times. Weddings are dangerous places if your single. Baptisms and baby showers are dangerous places if you don't have kids. The only antidote is to take her someplace where there are a bunch of runny-nosed 3-yr olds running around. Chucky Cheese would be perfect.

As far as kids go, I have 2 boys (18 and 20). Both will be in college this Fall. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I do wish they were still little every now and again. Little kids are a blast. Once you get past the first 2-3 years of no sleep, parenthood gets much easier and much more enjoyable.

Teenagers are rough, but if you keep a sense of humor you can get through it. Remember, as a parent you have an ultimate weapon at your disposal - embarassment. Teenagers are completely horrified by their parents. Make sure to embarass your teens as much as possible when their friends are around by acting like a typical dorky parent. It's actually a lot of fun.

You're never ready for parenthood, so you just need to go for it. It'll be fine.

 

[SudsyPaul]

Also... I should note that when my daughter lets out a high-pitch scream that could shatter windows (she's discovering her voice), it doesn't bother me at all. If another kid does it, I want to punch them in the mouth.

Becoming a parent/dad doesn't mean you all-of-a-sudden love all kids... you just love yours. I was worried when I asked my wife for a baby, since I didn't really know if I'd be any good at this parenting thing. I'm pretty lazy, I love my personal time and I'm cheap... but having 1 kid with 2 parents is managable.

I didn't even start homebrewing until I had my daughter, and I've now made 21 batches of beer since December 2012. My wife and I are a good team and we coordinate ourselves so that we both get personal time to do our own things. I make beer and build stuff in my spare time, my wife reads books, shops and decorates in her spare time. We have less spare time than before, but we also have a little poop monster that lights up any room she's in, and again, I wouldn't trade that for the WORLD.

 

[Skins_Brew]

I don't think I've ever met a man that was "ready" to have kids. But, I've never met a man that regretted having kids (that were planned). You'll do fine Creamy...... And like Darwin said....your married to the love of your life, do you really have a choice? There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not both terrorized and enamored with my son and daughter. Best thing ever. 10x better than a dog! LMAO

You can have both, as is my case. My 2.5yo son thinks he is a dog sometimes. Barks at the window and wants to eat his dinner on the floor. Cracks me up every time.

And yea, the bit about your kids running in to greet you is priceless. I have a 2.5yo son and a 1.6yo daughter. When I get home they run full speed into the dining room to greet me screaming "DADDYS HOME!!!"

 

[m3n00b]

I love it when my 4.5 and 2.5yo dogs come and greet me! Having your own humans must be even better.

I seriously feel the same as the OP. I'm 30 and my wife is still in college. I'm putting her through school and she will put me through school afterward so it looks like we'll be around 35-40 by the time we're ready to start living life. I think we're going to travel for a while(something we've always wanted to do). It looking like we'll be 40+ before we will want any kids. At that point who knows what kids will be into? Also, kids had after 40 have all sorts of extra risks for mother and child. I never was fond of kids and I think my wife is finally converting to my way of thinking....which makes me happy and sad. All of my friends have kids and they're all locked down and miserable. However, hopefully they'll have someone to take care of them when they're old, right?

 

[Billy-Klubb]

we've got 2 boys: 5 & 2. the 5 y/o is already defiant toward me (family tradition) and the 2 y/o is gonna be quite the scrapper. I figure the teens are gonna be rough, but you get what you give and I gave a lot of hell in my teens (and before). lets roll with the punches!:rockin:

 

[ladodger34]

I love it when my 4.5 and 2.5yo dogs come and greet me! Having your own humans must be even better.

I seriously feel the same as the OP. I'm 30 and my wife is still in college. I'm putting her through school and she will put me through school afterward so it looks like we'll be around 35-40 by the time we're ready to start living life. I think we're going to travel for a while(something we've always wanted to do). It looking like we'll be 40+ before we will want any kids. At that point who knows what kids will be into? Also, kids had after 40 have all sorts of extra risks for mother and child. I never was fond of kids and I think my wife is finally converting to my way of thinking....which makes me happy and sad. All of my friends have kids and they're all locked down and miserable. However, hopefully they'll have someone to take care of them when they're old, right?

Just a quick question on this one.. Have your friends actually told you that they are locked down and miserable are is just a perception thing?

I will say to each their own, but I was 30 and still in school when we got married. A couple of months later, my wife was pregnant (totally planned it that way). My oldest was a year old when I graduated from college. Let me tell you, it sucked to take college Algebra at a community college (a six week summer school course) and whatever English class I was taking at the time at the University with a one month old kid, but I survived. I pulled all nighters with a baby and homework pretty often and worked 30+ hours a week as well. But I was never miserable. Way tired, but never miserable. I've actually been more miserable since I started my career (a change is coming) than I ever was when life was really crazy.

I had a much longer response, but I will say this. My wife and I really wanted kids so my views are clouded on this one. We decided that we could put off the traveling stuff with each other once our kids are grown. My parents and my "other parents" (my best friend's since I was 10) travel like crazy now. My parents do the road trip thing every summer. His parents are in Cancun as we speak and do cruises and go to Europe frequently. Obviously, we need to be in good health to that stuff but I think it will be hecka fun to travel in my later years. If we start when I am 60 (just throwing it out there), my daughter will be 24 and my boys will be 29 and 27. I won't have to worry about them much.

But hey, if you folks don't want to have kids, be proud of your decision (no sarcasm here). Just don't make excuses for it. As my grandmother said (she had 7 of them in a 3 BR, 1100 SQFT house), you can always find room for a baby in your life if you really want one.

 

[edmanster]

Noooooo, don't do it! All they do is eat the last "Little Debbie" snack cake you hid in the back pantry and the last glass of milk to go with it before you get home from work...lol.. anyways.. my first was an accident, knocked the wife up 2 months before our wedding after 3 years of dating. The other 3 is another story but decided to have them sooner rather than later.lol. After the first, the other kiddos were definitely easier! You know my feeling on sheltering and a lot of mistakes made in life are from not knowing what the result could be. My oldest is13 now and whats funny is she wants nothing to do with social media. She is her own person and I have faith she won't fall into something from peer pressure. I hope the younger 3 will learn from her but can tell 1or2 will be problematic because I know there personality. I still get daily hugs from all of them and have great relationships! So, I hope the sheltering part answered your title question because even keeping them locked up they will eventually get out