I quit!

[Whattawort]

The last 2 batches I've done, I did as favors to friends and/or family and each brew day was filled with frustration and disaster of epic proportions. Now, I've been making beer for quite a while and I've had my ups and downs and run-in with equipment and user error, but never a combination of all of them in two brew sessions.

Session #1
- I had a stuck sparge to the point where I had to ladel the wort over a collander into my boil pot thus resulting in several burns, ruined shoes, and no where close to the volumes I needed
- The contributing factor to the stuck sparge was that my braided hose somehow came completely off at some point during the mash
- Had a leak somewhere in one of the lines for the CF chiller resulting in some minor flooding
- Pump failed and had to rig up a 3 tier system while juggling 2 batches
- In a mad dash to just be done with brewing that day, I threw all my half-washed equipment into my car along with a 3/4 batch of stout in my leather-interior car. I think everyone knows how sticky wort is.
- What was anticipated to be a 4.5hr brew day was closer to 6

Session #2 - 34 degrees F in the garage
- Started at 7:30pm (that should tell you something right off the bat)
- Another stuck sparge. This time it was the bazooka screen that came off at somepoint during the sparge
- Had to clean and sanitize a nasty keg and 2 buckets (freezing water gets sprayed all over the damned place) while waiting on what little wort was dripping into the pot
- 1hr behind I decide enough is enough and I find a collander (again) and a metal skewer and begin to carefully create a flow through the mash tun valve
- Stuck sparge is magically unstuck and half a gallon of hot wort and grain spew all over my hands, legs, and feet (ruining another pair of shoes and causing more burns)
- Finally get all the wort into the kettle and start boil (2hrs behind now)
- Forgot to borrow the CF chiller (tack on more time)
- STUCK kettle valve (WTF?). Didnt mess with the skewer this time and just waited for it to clear itself.
- Magically it clears and near boiling wort flies all over the place including all over me (Ijust happened to be looking at the valve at that time)
At this point I stuck the damned fermentor in the beer fridge, said F' IT! and went to take a shower leaving a gigantic mess behind. Ending time: 1:30am

NOW, the morale to the story is that had I been brewing for myself and the enjoyment I get from taking my time, I bet a lot of this wouldn't have happened. But since I'm such a nice guy and like to make people happy, I ensured my friend and brother that their beers would be ready for Christmas. Well.....f a bunch of that from now on. When it comes to beer, you get what I make, on my schedule, at my discretion from now on. It's my hobby....not my job. BAH!

 

[plankbr]

Sounds like you need a script for:

 

[Due51]

My weekend was filled with confounding issues and stupid mistakes. Nobody cracks more eggs to make an omelet than I do. But, the passion inside overcomes the mistakes made along the way. Just ask any casual golfer. They hack up a muni course worse than a family of gophers, but it's that one birdie putt that brings them back for more. Keep the faith and crack on.

 

[fuzzy2133]

Sorry to hear about the brewing blowing up in your face and I totally support your stance on its only what you have planned or nothing.

 

[Danno81]

Sounds like a nightmare! I I learned any thing from you it's too verify my bazooka tube and braid are absolutely secure before I mash! Thanks for sharing!

 

[Grannyknot]

Sounds like a good old fashioned false bottom should make its way onto your Christmas list.

 

[unionrdr]

I know the !Q@#!@#*)&**&^@##$%^ feeling! Being a tuner guy all my life,getting old,walkin with a cane,etc is makin a poor man's life a living hell. No credit & no money for a new daily driver. My tuner is high strung with quirks of it's own. Every other year or so,the inner belt (alternator & water pump) snaps & I go through an all day hell on a front wheel drive trying to get to the alt elbow bolt,etc. Now I went & got a set of metric wrenches,only to find 2 13mm wrenches,....no 14mm. Damn. The ekbow bolt & adjuster bolt on the PS pump are 13mm. The slide jam nut is...wait for it...14mm! Damnit,I gotta figure a way to get in a really tight spot to get it loose so I can remove the outer belt to replace the inner one. Library DVD's costing a dollar a day foe near two weeks trying to fix this friggin thing. No help from sons who no next to nothing about cars. OOOOh God,why me!??

 

[IslandLizard]

Sorry to hear about the recent mishaps.
Were you brewing these on location? If so, that's a frustrating disaster waiting to happen.

Brew on your own turf on your own time and only when you're ready for it.

Relax, then brew another one, just to disprove the odds.

 

[eluterio]

I've realized that when I make beer for others I have moments like you but not that bad. So I tell people when I make it for you sorry right off the bat it might be terrible as I only make great beer when I brew for myself!

 

[Whattawort]

I forgot to mention that the metal skewer went flying into the fermentor at the very end while the wort was transferring from the kettle to the bucket. Yeah, it was less than sanitized. I'm thinking about just dropping in a dirty hydrometer when I do a grav sample and leaving it in there. I mean, if I screwed it up this bad right from the beginning, why not commit to the tragedy all the way through?

Thanks for the sympathy. It may be a while before I climb back up on the horse. Then again, I did get 2lbs of hops in the mail the other day. The 1st brew session was done at a friend's house, the second was in my garage. I'm definitely going to reevaluate my mash tun hardware before I brew again. I'd rather not go to a false bottom, but if it means a more hassle-free brew day I just might.

 

[ardyexfor]

Had to cancel my brew day all together thanks to sub zero temps freezing my faucets and hoses.

 

[IslandLizard]

Don't give up! Brew something nice for yourself with those fresh hops.

If you're use an oblong cooler as mashtun, adding a slotted CPVC manifold is the easiest upgrade. Although my pumpkin ale was a slow lauter (1 hour+), which was to be expected with 5 pounds of pumpkin pulp, it never got stuck. I had added 1/2 pound rice hulls to 13# of grain, though... and next time I'll probably double that.

 

[Gitmoe]

Get some brew gloves and some clam digger rubber boots. No reason to be burning yourself and ruining good shoes...

 

[Quaker]

Submit your stories to James at Basic Brewing Radio. They are gathering mishap stories for their annual compilation of such. Maybe a little prize will ease your sorrows.

 

[SudsyPaul]

I agree that brew-days should be for yourself. Whenever I brew for someone else or on someone else's schedule, I don't enjoy the brewing process.

If it's just me, alone for X hours, then things seem to flow better. I'm usually a bit bored when brewing alone, but it's better than feeling like I need to rush for someone else's schedule.

 

[Danno81]

I too agree with brewing for your self and only your self. I get bored by when I brew alone but the only two times I brewed with a friend I got wasted and made way too many mistakes!

 

[kvanconant]

Don't want to hijack the thread but I had a similar situation a few days ago.

Just last weekend my friend and I were going to brew a Chocolate Porter.
So we start off by lighting my propane burner to bring our mash water to temp.
Ran out of propane in 5 mins form firing it up.
So I grabbed my backup propane. Had enough propane to bring water to mash temp (Still had some propane left) and had to go swap out my first tank while my grain sat in my mash tun. (Note: At 1:30am it's hard to swap propane at gas stations.)
Then we batch sparged into our boil pot... Well our screen in our mash tun collapsed. So it took another almost 2 hours to get all of the wort of out the mash tun.
We started boiling our wort to add out hops and everything went fine until about 10 mins left in our boil my second propane tank ran out of propane. ( I still have the new one but saving it for when I need it). I had put my chiller in the pot about 20 mins before the end of the boil so it was boiled for 10 mins before the flame went out. I went ahead and turned on the chiller and chilled it down and racked it to the fermenter added my yeast and called it a night. After cleaning my boiler pot and stuff off.
I'm MUCH more prepared tonight. We built a cpvc false bottom that actually works really well.
We tested it on the old grain from our last brew. We added 10 lbs of grain and added 5 gallons of water and we got 4 3/4 gallons of water to filter through the cpvc false bottom.
So I think were set for tonight. Brewing a Blonde Ale tonight.

 

[Whattawort]

I think I will be investing in some rubber brew gloves and boots. Might as well buy a lab coat, a respirator, and some goggles too. I do have a reputation for being a homebrew mad scientist. I'm still trying to figure out why using 2 row, pilsner, and marris otter in the same beer was weird. Or maybe it was the Citra, Northern Brewer, and Hallertau that raised eyebrows. Could have been the combination of a liquid and dry pitch that did it. But it's hard as hell to experiment and have fun with a beer when your equipment breaks and you're not on your own time table.

 

[+HopSpunge+]

You havn't even tasted it yet. Bet it turns out awsome. The beer-gods work in mysterious ways.

 

[motleybrew]

I can sympathize.

Yesterday, my decoction mash was way off (just like last one). My mash temps were nowhere near where I wanted them. I brew on an extreme budget, so I have one big pot, and a smaller one. I was ladling mash, getting burned on my hands and it didn't even really pay off. To top it off, it was a wheat beer and got my first stuck sparge. I mean REALLY stuck; I blew back into the drain hose...nothing. Stirred....nothing. Had to scoop it out into the pot lined with a strainer bag and then press it all. Started at 10, ended at 8. Really frustrating. I learned my lesson about using rice hulls in a wheat beer.

 

[Whattawort]

You havn't even tasted it yet. Bet it turns out awsome. The beer-gods work in mysterious ways.

The stout tastes great but only yielded about 4 gallons in the end. The mild is for my bro who lives about 400mi away. I might keep a few bottles, but I suspect he's taking the bulk. To be honest, I don't even care. I was happy that I hit my numbers in the end and the color is spot on though.

 

[how1]

You can't quit unless we vote on it!

 

[insanim8er]

Sounds like a good old fashioned false bottom should make its way onto your Christmas list.

+1 on that...

I don't know why you wouldn't want to go with a false bottom (I guess unless you also have to upgrade your tun to fit one) But I love having a false bottom. Seems like 99% of what I read about stuck sparges includes a tun using a bazooka tube.


I get great efficiency and only had one stuck sparge in my career, but it was 100% operator error. It was also an easy fix. I freed up enough to get a slow sparge... Took a while to collect all the wort, but I ended up with a 93% efficency on that beer.

Invest in good equipment... It's worth your sanity.

 

[Whattawort]

Update - The keg decided to be a little b*tch with the stout and won't hold pressure or force beer out the line. I didn't have the time or the patience to deal with it last night, so I'll get after it tonight. Probably a bunch of yeast and "hop glop" (as my wife likes to call it) in the posts. I'm about a gnat's pube away from just making mead and wine.

 

[rodwha]

I had a neighbor ask me to brew him beer after having some of mine. I worked on an estimated price for him to buy all of his own stuff, including bottles. He changed his mind.

But I also told him I'd only do it once, but that I'd be more than willing to show him. I got a long blank stare.

I greatly enjoy brew day. But I don't care for all of the cleaning and sanitizing, and bottling day is never much fun other than it's another excuse to drink some beer.

Nah. I won't brew for anyone else.

 

[duboman]

Here's to setting your own schedule and brewing on your own terms!

Obviously the equipment issues are on you and whatever you choose to do about it as well but I learned a long time ago, if someone wants me to brew them a batch, they pay for the ingredients and bottles if needed, they brew with me so they understand it's not something that just gets "Whipped up" and the schedule is determined by me and only me with no deadlines permitted.

This policy has made life quite easy and I have no stress when it comes to brewing, ever!

 

[CMAC]

False bottom and dip tube my friend, are your friends. Until the compression fitting isn't seated fully and doesn't pull the suction and then you have 5 gallons of wort in the bottomand there's no good way to tip a keggle with a dip tube and get the D@%# REST OUT!

Woa. Slipped into a flashback there for a minute. Totally understand. How about missing the boil off and having to much chilled wort. Only to have to transfer it back to the kettle, bring back to a boil, then chill again? Ugh. That was the last brew before I bought a sight glass.

 

[finsfan]

Dont give up, I completely understand your frustrations. I havent had any of the same situations on brew day, but I have been getting the same "film" in all my bottles after 3-4 weeks on the last 5 brews. I thought I had solved this issue but when bottling last night, I am pretty sure that the beer already had it! This is new as all the others ones happened once in bottles for awhile. Now the only variable in all of these beers is the primary fermenter. I got it used but I hadnt had a problem with it before the last 6 or so brews. Now I just have to wait 3-4 weeks to see if this film/off smell shows back up in the ones I just bottled. I wont be brewing until I figure out the source as I have already wasted so too much gallons of beer/time/money! I was very pissed last night to say the least but still will not give up yet. The beers were good before the film showed up, now I just have to go through my entire process and fix it!

 

[eluterio]

Update - The keg decided to be a little b*tch with the stout and won't hold pressure or force beer out the line. I didn't have the time or the patience to deal with it last night, so I'll get after it tonight. Probably a bunch of yeast and "hop glop" (as my wife likes to call it) in the posts. I'm about a gnat's pube away from just making mead and wine.

I know it may be frustrating and I dont want to sound like a smartA$$ but did you make sure you had your gas post connected with the gas line. Ive done this way too many times I stopped counting. Check your o rings they might be bad as well. If you have another keg I would rack into it. I would also try to not rack from the bottom leave as much yeast sediment out as possible but I dont think this is the issue in your case. Ive never had this happen nor have I read that where hop residue clogs the diptube. It could also be the connector for liquid line. There might be something in it not allowing the beer to flow. Again sorry to hear your horror story.

 

[Whattawort]

Thankfully I have my brewclub behind telling me to get back on that horse (as well as you guys), so I think I'll stay in the game. The beer always turns out great and I should take pride in that I suppose. It's just incredibly frustrating when the fun gets sucked out of your hobby on the last 2 brew days. On a positive note, my neighbor told me today that she has an inside track with a local apiary, so I have access to real honey now! There's been an increased demand (my own as well as others) for more of my mead. Luckily that's only about a 20min process.

I have a 10g Rubbermaid cooler mash tun. What size false bottom do I need? 12"?? I'm not changing over just yet since this was my first brew with the bazooka screen, but I'm making contingency plans for just about every part of my process.