She would injure a mere mortal man. Men in bars that have attempted to approach her to get a number have been known to spontaneously combust. I am training during my deployment to keep up with her. I fear if I don't I will become soft and incur a major injury upon my return.
I found her after her previous boyfriend disappeared, many said he was not able to contain his happiness and died shortly after she told him they might have a future together. The tale goes on to say that his heart exploded with such force it ripped him apart and the pieces were too small to be retrieved.
My house is the only one on the block with grass. El Paso, Texas is a high plains desert area. Grass is very hard to grow and you have to spend a few hours a week in the summer watering and tending your yard. I have to mow three times a week and don’t own a sprinkler. I had no grass at my home before she moved in.
She is a ray of sunshine that lights my life. My awesomeness is the only thing that keeps me from combusting too. Try if you dare. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.