Dude is trying to kill me!
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Flying Elvii
This is from Gregg Easterbrook then of NFL.com and now back at ESPN.com
TMQ Cognomen
Tuesday Morning Quarterback employs goofy cognomen for many NFL teams. Readers have asked for a handy cheat-sheet. Clip and save!
The Arizona (CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN FOOTBALL-LIKE SUBSTANCE) Cardinals. This one's pretty much self-explanatory.
The Atlanta Typos. Their occasional all-black uniforms look like a printing-press malfunction; also, Falcons fans may wish the entire 2003 season could be declared a typographical error. If, however, this club stays with the all-red look showcased Sunday, it will become to TMQ the Atlanta Juju Bees.
The Baltimore Nevermores. Allusion to Poe.
The Chicago Daxiongmao. Mandarin word for panda.
The Cincinnati Fudgsicles. Inspired by their occasional all-black uniforms.
The Cleveland Browns (Release 2.1). First there were Browns, and then no Browns, and then were Browns again -- Release 2.0. Enough roster changes have happened since the re-creation that they are now up to Cleveland Browns (Release 2.1).
The City of Tampa Buccaneers. "Tampa Bay" is a body of water; Tampa is the city. (Green Bay Packers is okay because "Green Bay" is the city's name.)
The Detroit Peugeots. Check the logo. At this point, Peugeot cars are more reliable than the Lions, which is a sad commentary.
The Houston Moo-Cows. Check their lovely cow-inspired logo. If this franchise breaks into the win column, TMQ will re-dub them the Houston Accountants, since nothing is more terrifying than an accountant from the city of Enron.
The Indianapolis Lucky Charms. Check the logo.
The Jersey/A Giants. For NFL purposes, New York is located in New Jersey.
\
The Jersey/B Jets. Second "New York" team to become cartographically disoriented.
The Miami Marine Mammals. Dolphins are not fish! Based on Sunday night's orange uni rollout, the Miami Creamsicles may become the cognomen. A Creamsicles-Fudgsicles game -- yum!
The New England Flying Elvii. The Patriots themselves call their new logo the Flying Elvis, and Elvii makes it plural. Some readers counter that if Latin, the third declension of Elvis would be Elves, while if Greek, the plural would be Elvides.
The New Orleans Boy Scouts. Check the logo.
The Oakland Long Johns. Check the logo. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
The Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Persons. I think "R*dsk*ns" has no polite usage (except for potatoes), though surely neither the team nor its fans intend offense. But I also don't like the "W*sh*ngt*n" part, since this club rehearses in Virginia and performs in Maryland.
The San Francisco Squared Sevens. The square of seven is 49.
The Seattle Blue Men Group. The new all-blues make the Hawks look like they just fell into a pot of finger paint.
The St. Louis Mouflons. The mouflon is a European sheep; males have curved horns. In the interest of Franco-American friendship, TMQ also calls them Les Mouflons. Should you be vacationing in southern France, Tuesday Morning Quarterback recommends the lovely Hotel les Mouflons, "Hotel of Sheep."
The Tennessee Flaming Thumbtacks. Check the helmet logo. Can't be long until this club is "Titans football presented by Staples."
This is from Gregg Easterbrook then of NFL.com and now back at ESPN.com
TMQ Cognomen
Tuesday Morning Quarterback employs goofy cognomen for many NFL teams. Readers have asked for a handy cheat-sheet. Clip and save!
The Arizona (CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN FOOTBALL-LIKE SUBSTANCE) Cardinals. This one's pretty much self-explanatory.
The Atlanta Typos. Their occasional all-black uniforms look like a printing-press malfunction; also, Falcons fans may wish the entire 2003 season could be declared a typographical error. If, however, this club stays with the all-red look showcased Sunday, it will become to TMQ the Atlanta Juju Bees.
The Baltimore Nevermores. Allusion to Poe.
The Chicago Daxiongmao. Mandarin word for panda.
The Cincinnati Fudgsicles. Inspired by their occasional all-black uniforms.
The Cleveland Browns (Release 2.1). First there were Browns, and then no Browns, and then were Browns again -- Release 2.0. Enough roster changes have happened since the re-creation that they are now up to Cleveland Browns (Release 2.1).
The City of Tampa Buccaneers. "Tampa Bay" is a body of water; Tampa is the city. (Green Bay Packers is okay because "Green Bay" is the city's name.)
The Detroit Peugeots. Check the logo. At this point, Peugeot cars are more reliable than the Lions, which is a sad commentary.
The Houston Moo-Cows. Check their lovely cow-inspired logo. If this franchise breaks into the win column, TMQ will re-dub them the Houston Accountants, since nothing is more terrifying than an accountant from the city of Enron.
The Indianapolis Lucky Charms. Check the logo.
The Jersey/A Giants. For NFL purposes, New York is located in New Jersey.
\
The Jersey/B Jets. Second "New York" team to become cartographically disoriented.
The Miami Marine Mammals. Dolphins are not fish! Based on Sunday night's orange uni rollout, the Miami Creamsicles may become the cognomen. A Creamsicles-Fudgsicles game -- yum!
The New England Flying Elvii. The Patriots themselves call their new logo the Flying Elvis, and Elvii makes it plural. Some readers counter that if Latin, the third declension of Elvis would be Elves, while if Greek, the plural would be Elvides.
The New Orleans Boy Scouts. Check the logo.
The Oakland Long Johns. Check the logo. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
The Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Persons. I think "R*dsk*ns" has no polite usage (except for potatoes), though surely neither the team nor its fans intend offense. But I also don't like the "W*sh*ngt*n" part, since this club rehearses in Virginia and performs in Maryland.
The San Francisco Squared Sevens. The square of seven is 49.
The Seattle Blue Men Group. The new all-blues make the Hawks look like they just fell into a pot of finger paint.
The St. Louis Mouflons. The mouflon is a European sheep; males have curved horns. In the interest of Franco-American friendship, TMQ also calls them Les Mouflons. Should you be vacationing in southern France, Tuesday Morning Quarterback recommends the lovely Hotel les Mouflons, "Hotel of Sheep."
The Tennessee Flaming Thumbtacks. Check the helmet logo. Can't be long until this club is "Titans football presented by Staples."
I know how you feel. Don't give up.Flyin' Lion said:
Flyin' Lion
Well-Known Member
olllllo, I've been waiting for Easterbrook's commentary but he isn't even listed on the list of writers for NFL.com anymore. I didn't always agree with what he said, but he certainly was entertaining. Any idea where he went?
He's back on ESPN, Tuesday as usual. Apparently, he got un-fired.
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the_bird said:
Talk about your dream job(s) to get fired/unfired from.
What did he get fired for again? I'm racking my brain trying to remember...
EDIT: forget it, found it...
http://www.yourish.com/archives/2003/oct12-18_2003.html#2003101401
EDIT: forget it, found it...
http://www.yourish.com/archives/2003/oct12-18_2003.html#2003101401
the_bird said:
Boo freeking Whoo . . . I lived through the Forest Gregg / Lindy Infante Eras
