contemplating counseling

[jyeary90]

Well since I'm drunk let me ramble about some problems I've been having. I seriously think I have depression or something like that. Not to sound cliche, but life seems really pointless. I wake up every day, go to class, and go to bed. Nothing ever changes, nothing really offers me happiness. I generally dislike socializing with other people because I dislike other people, and although I have hobbies I just don't find myself deriving the pleasure from them that I used to. In addition I am starting to take the 4000 level classes in my major and they are really proving to be quite the challenge. I mean I just recently discovered homebrewing and I truly enjoy it however you can only homebrew every so often, especially being a college student. I want to go talk to a university counselor because it's free, however I really don't want to at the same time because I'm afraid all their going to do is shrug me off as another depression case, write me a prescription for some meds, and that will be that, and more drugs in my life is the last thing I honestly need. But really I just feel depressed all the time, and it also feels like I have absolutely nothing in common with anyone and that I can't relate to anyone I know. I'm an openly bisexual man whose interests include taling politics, mathematics, and philosophy which really sets me apart from my peers, and doesn't give me much common ground on which to form a friendship. I absolutely despise popular culture, mainstream music, television, and I hate the video games everyone else enjoys playing. In a college environemtn this is really alienating because who the **** thins learning calculus is fun?

 

[mordantly]

who the **** thins learning calculus is fun?

a friend of mine has been working on his phD at uc santa cruz for the last 2 years in math! (we're class '02, he plans to teach math at some level)

as to the depression stuff, you gotta talk to somebody man. it isn't a problem "that will solve itself" except with a catastrophic resolve. twice in my life have pondered swallowing the 12 gauge... but why? that would mean you've quite. why let someone else win anyways? besides, my cat of 9.5 years would be an orphan. some treatment of some sort is in order, but only a professional will know the most effective route for you. good luck on your journey..

 

[carrotmalt]

I say talk to someone and try and resolve whatever it is that's going on. Take advantage of the free counselling if it's available. Depression can take over your life. Don't ignore it and don't try to overcome it by yourself.

My prayers go out to ya.

 

[chainsawbrewing]

more drugs in my life is the last thing I honestly need

what does this mean?

I wake up every day, go to class, and go to bed. Nothing ever changes

some day you will wake up everyday, go to work, and go to bed. it's called being a man.

life seems really pointless

it is really pointless, on the surface. it's all about the little things. go do something nice for somebody you don't know. go on a hike. get a pet. be a big brother to an underprivlaged child. donate some time to a soup kitchen feeding homeless people. sponser a family for christmas. go lay down and make a snow angel in some snow. make yourself a ridicoulusly large ice cream sundae that you could never eat before it melts and try anyways.


i'm not a counseler, in fact i'm pretty sure i just spelled it wrong, but it seems to me you're probably fairly young, and this depression you're feeling is "life". i remember when i was younger, and first got married, and had actual "responsibilities" and had grown into the routine of wake up, work, get home, sleep, repeat. i had a lot of the same questions i think you may have, and thoughts you've shared. the day i realized that i could be a whiner, and say woe is me, this sucks, OR appreciate the little things, and make my own happiness, i made a choice to be happy. you can't always depend on other people to make your happiness, especially when you're one of the minority, free thinkers of the world. you say you really enjoy brewing but hard to find the time. i call B.S. there's 24 hours in a day, if you truly enjoy something, you'll make time, every time. if it's a money issue, and you've just recently discovered brewing, go to the library and study up on brewing. if you're interested in it, learning more about it will be fun, enjoyable, and not cost you any cash.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

In a college environemtn this is really alienating because who the **** thins learning calculus is fun?

Me, Me, Me.

Now that I am older.

I just wish I understood it.

 

[shecky]

Yikes. I would seek some sort of help but you first have to change your attitude about it. If you go in with a closed mind (which seems so counterintuitive for somebody who is openly bisexual), you're already in a bad spot. If indeed you are depressed, and it sure sounds that way, you are NOT going to be able to pull yourself out of it.

I'm confused by the drug comment. If illicit drugs are your thing, stop. They'll only make matters worse. It sounds as if you're admitting to a problem, but not open to getting help. You need to take some action. Life is what you make of it. My life isn't much different than yours. I wake up, work, take care of my kids, go to bed and do it all over again the next day. The key is finding some joy in even the smallest of things.

Get some help, please. And good luck.

 

[Zen_Brew]

jyeary:

Yes, you are depressed. If it isn't being caused by a recent tramatic event in your life than it is most likely a chemical imbalance in your brain. The drugs are sometimes necessary to get the chemicals rebalanced in the brain. After that you can address the social and personal issues that you are finding unsatisfying. You do really need to find someone you trust to talk with. It is important to do this as soon as possible.

Although there are many wonderful people on this forum and we will often freely lend advice and a shoulder, this is not the place you need to be asking these questions. Depression is quite a serious issue and should be addressed by someone in a professional capacity while you still have the desire to do something about it.

Shake off the doldrums and address it now. We'll be here brewing beer when you get back.

 

[Brew-Happy]

From my experience, every college should or does have "free" counseling for its students. I say "free" because you already pay for it through your fees. I have taken advantage of it twice in my life and would recommend you do the same. They could help identify the causal issue(s) in your life that can break the depression.

I would also agree that focusing on someone else and the issues they suffer from (homelessness, hunger, lost, etc) can really bring some light into your world. You say you are alienated in your life. I would suggest creating your own environment in the college setting: create a social group for your interests. You would be amazed at the number of people that find math fascinating (me being one of them). Obviously, a math group would be one option, but I am sure there are other interests in your life that you could form a group. Plus, the college usually has a fund for student organizations, so you are out $0 and get you some much needed socializing with like minded people.

I bet you could create a crazy college group like: http://stasfa.tamu.edu/stasfa/

I know you stated you are not into pop culture and games, but this is just an example of an organization that is offbeat.

Good luck

 

[david_42]

Counseling is definitely a good idea. Medication is a first step for many people, just because they are too depressed and can't discuss their problems. For some, the meds are all that is needed, others need counseling, some both. Some illegal drugs really mess up you brain chemistry. Ecstasy clobbers serotonin, which is tied to depression. My brother did a lot of illegal drugs, but hated taking the legal ones; go figure.

Don't expect meds or consoling to make you happy. They are just a ladder out of the pit.

 

[loganb]

he like Chainsawbreing said get out and do stuff for other people. go volenteer somewhere and help people. the interaction and the fact that you put a smile on someones face with possibly worse problems than you will more than likely put a smile on your face. and all life is is just one big rut anyways. i am 24 have 2 kids an i am soon to be in iraq for the second time. and i know i made the choice to do what i do so i am not complaining about that but sometimes you just have to step back look at things. once you do that you might find out that some of the things you stress about arent really that bad man. and if that dont work talk to someone and dont be embarassed to do so. i had to do it when i got back from iraq. and its not like the counsellor is going to laugh at you or look down on you its their job to help you. just dont do anything you will regret or something.

 

[jyeary90]

Thank you for all the positive comments everyone. I mean I realize I don't know any of you and this is just an online forum, but there's just something about the guise of internet anonymity that makes it pretty easy to talk about problems, espeically while one is inebriated. I think the overwhelming consensus is that I should see a counselor, so I think I will go ahead and call them and make an appointment. I mean, I guess now that I think about it with a sober mind, their really their to just give advice and if I truly dont' like what they suggest then I don't have to listen to it (though I do realize that defeats the purpose of seeing a counselor).

However, the reason I said "The last thing I need in my life is more drugs" is because my doctor prescribes me Adderall for my ADHD and I smoke a lot of weed in addition to drinking, and I use all of those regularly. In addition, a few of my friends have gone to counselors for similar problems and all of them are on medications. Maybe I am wrong but I honestly think I just have some emotional and social problems that I just need to talk about, I don't need a magical pill to cure a problem like this (though once again perhaps I am wrong). Also, then there's the issue of affording the prescription. I am lucky enough to be covered by insurance but I have no idea if it'd cover those medications (most of the time they are pretty stingy about that, I guess I got lucky with adderall being covered). If they don't cover whatever I may be prescribed, there is probably no way I could afford whatever prescription.

But once again thank you all who commented. Maybe I am a lil bit of a weirdo for bringing my emotional problems to a forum dedicated to brewing beer, but like I said, the guise of anonymity makes talking about sensitive, personal issues that much easier.

 

[caver95]

yeah I find pot a real motivator....

another plus to stop smoking weed would give you more money to brew

 

[Brew-Happy]

yeah I find pot a real motivator....

another plus to stop smoking weed would give you more money to brew

That and beer isn't really pick-me-upper either. Discuss your use with the counselor as well. This may help to identify issues.

 

[J8D]

As a college faculty member I would HIGHLY encourage you to go to student health or the equivelant. You wouldn't think twice about going to the doctor if you had the crabs again and wanted to get them taken care of. You woulnd't think twice about going to the doctor if you broke your leg. So why would you when your brain needs some medical care. Counseling is normal and healthy. Your brain runs the show. If it is sick, you can't function.

Issue two, like others have said, you have to give yourself little things to look forward to. You aren't always going to have big "Disney Trip" events to keep you smiling and going. It is your world we are just living in it. Make things to look forward to. What am I personnaly excited about today?

Cutting my grass after four months of rain
Putting together my temperature controller
planting some hops
leaving work
having a day off
not getting shot at

Next, I would be willing to bet cash that any of the combinations you mentioned (alcohol, weed, ADHD meds) are NOT recommended. I know alcohol isn't since not only is it a depressent, but removes inhibitions which, in the case of someone feeling a bit ****ty, can lead to you doing something stupid like hurting yourself. Lay off that stuff for awhile.

Lastly, right now some guy your age just got blown up or shot in some ****hole country so that you have the right to sit at college, smoke pot, drink beer, get laid and be a bit gloomy. I know to many guys that are dealing with divorces and PTSD because of the things they have had to go and do. You have the privelage of not having to go do those things. Go to the doctor, get yourself well, and start loving this kick ass thing called life. :rockin:

 

[itsme6582]

My girlfriend is on antidepressants. When I first found out I had a really hard time understanding how she would take the easy way out with pills. I've learned they really make a difference and medicine really is necessary for some people.

There are other ways to manage depression too. Try a google search. When I'm having a rough day, I find if I can get outside for some fresh air I can really turn my day around. Getting your blood pumping can help too. Exercise is often recommended to help with depression.

Try to find a club on campus. There's got to be a group of people there somewhere that you'll like. Maybe you could volunteer at the hospital, or Habitat for Humanity. If you can find something you're passionate about, have people rely on you, or make yourself feel good I think you'll feel a lot better about yourself. If you can't find the motivation to at least try something you should go talk to someone. It doesn't have to be a psychologist. It could be a friend or maybe your fellow beer nerds on HBT. Maybe you have a connection with one of your professors and you could talk with them.

 

[lady_brewer]

First I will say that I was on Celexa (sp?) for about 6 months this time 2 years ago...

I think that it is a pretty hard thing to make the first step and talk to somebody (outside of the drunk "I think I might...") I brought it up to my family MD and burst into tears. He knows me fairly well and that there is a family history and was okay with me having an input in my treatment. He was okay when I came off them. The way he put it is that everybody has ups and downs on a normal line, but when it is ups and downs below a normal line there needs to be some change. (I could make some sort of calculus drawing here, but I forget my calc and am lazy.)

However, the reason I said "The last thing I need in my life is more drugs" is because my doctor prescribes me Adderall for my ADHD and I smoke a lot of weed in addition to drinking, and I use all of those regularly.

A lot of people (that I have known) tend to self-medicate when they are not in the right place. I used to drink more than I do post meds, and I am a lot happier about said habits. I have known a couple of other people that had issues with drugs and alcohol (whether they realised it or it was just evident from events in their lives) that really had underlying depression. Those that resisted recommended treatment are still in bad places, those that have followed treatment plans are better.

I went back to my doc this year, because I was a little blue... I really didn't want to go back on meds, he asked me a few questions and really just adding more exercise and talking about my "stuff" was enough to reassure us both that I didn't need to go that direction.

I think you should talk to somebody, and the councilors at school tend to be psychologists, not psychiatrists... meaning that they can counsel you to see somebody that can write you a prescription, or talk to you about the issue. This may be the best way for you to dip your feet in the water.

Hope that this helps a bit...

 

[RDWHAHB]

Go to the counselor, and with am open mind. If you are opposed to drugs, then they should help you work up another plan. In fact, if you go somewhere and drugs is the only approach the want to use, I'd go somewhere else. Probably better off using a combo & seeing what works.

 

[Neunelfer]

Stop sitting online feeling sorry for yourself. You need to make the steps to make your own life better. You seem to like crutches. Get off the pot and stop playing video games. Go outside, make friends... drinking and posting online to random people isn't the solution to anything.

 

[jmendez29]

Hey, man. I'm pretty sure the majority of us have felt like you are feeling right now. So I don't think you could consider yourself weird just because of that. I've had my ups and downs in life. Been kicked around a few times. Felt like I was just as invisible as the paint on the wall, you see it but you don't see it. But when its over, I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and went looking for the next fight.

Point is, everyone has their problems. We all wander around thinking about ourselves so much, we start missing what's right in front of us. I'd be willing to bet that there are a lot of people around you that are thinking the same things as you. Start talking to some of them. Find some of these "popular culture" types and talk to them. If you have to, act like you're interested for 5 minutes and see if you can let them make you laugh. I know there are a lot of shallow people out there, but even the dumb ones have some pretty good ideas every now and again. Talk to a random person about calculus (or whatever "geek" subjects you really like), they just might surprise you by either liking it as well, or gain an interest from your perspective. You aren't alone in this world. And remember, even if you really are one in a million, with 6 billion people in the world, that means there are 6,000 other people just like you.

It takes all types to make the world go 'round.

And just to reinforce, go see the counselor. Go with an open mind and ask if they can help find a solution without taking drugs. Even with the best of intentions, it may interfere with the Adderol.

 

[scratchypants]

Save the weed for when you are already having fun, and even then, ask why. It's February and you're in Toledo - that's almost as bad as Quebec. Get some Vitamin D, maybe even a UV lamp. Break your routine - think of something fun to do and go.

 

[passedpawn]

from John Denver (I miss that guy)

Saturday night in Toledo, Ohio is like being nowhere at all.
All through the day how the hours rush by, you sit in the park and you watch the grass die.

Ah, but after the sunset, the dusk and the twilight, when shadows of night start to fall.
They roll back the sidewalk precisely at ten and people who live there are not seen again.

Just two lonely truckers from Great Falls, Montana and a salesman from places unknown
all huddled together in downtown, Toledo to spend their big night all alone.

You ask how I know of Toledo, Ohio? Well I spent a week there one day.
They've got entertainment to dazzle your eyes: go visit the bakery and watch the buns rise.

Ah, but let's not forget that the folks of Toledo unselfishly gave us the scale.
No springs, honest weight, that's the promise they made,
so smile and be thankful next time you get weighed.

And "wive and wet wive", let this be our motto, let's let the sleeping dogs lie.
And here's to the dogs of Toledo, Ohio, ladies, we bid you goodbye.​

Anyhoo, spring break is coming up. Get in a car and go to the beach. You can drive to a warm one in a day, lots faster if you go east. That is what I did the day after I got out of school. Never went back.

I grew up in Toledo.

 

[ezboarderz]

Damn man, I would definitely side with everyone else and check out counseling. I am a college student myself and I honestly think college is awesome. I study philosophy and I find a lot of joy in that, I think it has lead to my success. I believe you need to understand exactly how you are and why certain things in your life are the way they are. Introspection is an amazing thing and you can learn quite a bit about yourself.

I also feel that it is important to have a healthy outlet to release whatever frustrates you. For some it is art, playing sports, playing guitar, or whatever ones means are. But honestly the best thing i can say it take it easy and relax. You only get one shot at life so do what you like and things will come along.

 

[seanybubbles]

I feel for you man, but at the same, I think back to my college days as some of the best days of my life. You've really got to enjoy them and make the most of the time. Take the courses you want to take. Hang out with the people you want to hang out with or who interest you no matter what others think. You should also probably take a break on the booze and dope for a while to clear your head. Seek conselling if you feel you need it. Do what you need to do to make yourself really happy. Life is all about balance.

 

[BBKing]

I went through this bs a few years ago after my father passed and a lot of things were coming down the pipe at me.

Went to a counselor, got some prescription meds and all the rest of that junk. Guess what? None of it ****ing helped.

Sometimes you've gotta address whatever is bothering you in life and just strap your nuts on and pull yourself up by your boot-straps. It took me 6 months to take care of everything, but guess what? As soon as I did, life was hunky dorry again.