Changing my name to Idiot McNumbskull

[Deacon1856]

I am an idiot. Thus the name change.

I brewed EdWort's Bavarian Hefe today. Everything was going well. Started out with 6.5 gallons in the pot. Ended with about 5.25 in the bottle. OG 1.052. Spot on.

So you may be asking yourself, "Self, why is he changing his name to Idiot McNumbskull? Sounds like he did a pretty good job." I will tell you. It came with the hop addition.

I constructed a hop strainer to use during the boil. Yet inexplicably I decided to forgo the use of the straining device and employ it later. When I pour everything into the bottle.

So I did. I put the bag in the bottle and overlapped the opening so that it wouldn't fall in and proceeded to pour in my wort. The bag did a STELLAR job at straining all that trub out. And then I went to pull the bag out.

It was like a giant hop teabag (I said teabag) that was WAY to big to pull through the mouth of the bottle. So I sat there; hanging on to the giant bag of swollen hops trying to decide what to do.

It turns out that if I pulled on each side of the bag alternately that I could get it out. It did a pretty good job of squeezing all the liquid out of the hops. HOWEVER there was a hop/wort geyser every time I put pulling pressure on the bag. All over the bottle. All over the floor. All over me. All over everything. But eventually it came out of the bottle.

So. In closing. Don't be like me, Idiot McNumbskull. Use your hop strainer (if you are so inclined) during the boil. DO NOT make a giant hop teabag (again...) and spend 30 minutes gingerly pulling it out of the better bottle. It's probably common sense to everyone but me...but this is only my 3rd brew. At least I learned something.

I'm attaching a picture of me below.

:fro:

Today I feel like a clown.

But at least there is delicious beer in my big pink fermentation chiller!

Deacon

 

[ChshreCat]

I had to prost this one. People in the next office came to see why I was laughing so loud. That's fantastic.

 

[DeathBrewer]

your carboy didn't explode? you didn't forget to add the extract (like i did last night?)

i don't think you deserve the name change

 

[Fingers]

That's pretty funny, Deacon. Did you think about just siphoning the wort back out of the carboy from under the hop bag? At least enough of it so that you could let the hops drain before pulling the bag out.

Don't beat yourself up over it. I think we've all done some stupid things. Experience is just a whole collection of mistakes not repeated.

 

[g_rath]

Experience is just a whole collection of mistakes not repeated.

Words to live by.

 

[Deacon1856]

Very true indeed. Looking back, it turned out not to be a HUGE deal, just an inconvenience. Now that my hefe is bubbling, I'm glad I took everyone's advice and put a blowoff tube on because it fermented like a maniac! I'm really looking forward to this one.

Did I mention this is the best hobby ever, because seriously, this is the best hobby ever.

 

[Bernie Brewer]

Meh, if I had a nickel for every ******* thing I've done brewing I'd be drinking for free until 2047. That was entertaining, though...........

 

[Jester369]

In the future, don't be afraid to just dump it all in. Won't hurt anything, really, I promise

 

[Amiaji]

Been there. I think I managed to get the bag out without too much of a mess but it was a pain in the ass. No need for a name change yet.

 

[MX1]

Too funny!!

Thanks for the story.

Tim

 

[scinerd3000]

decon wheres the picture?

 

[Deacon1856]

Well, at LEAST I'm not the only one to do this. I know they would be fine in the bottle...I've left them in the bottle the other two times. I was just looking for a shortcut because I plan on washing this yeast.

I didn't take a picture because I didn't want to have to let go of the bag. I'm not sure I could have fished it back out of there!

On the bright side, this hefe is fermenting like a VOLCANO! I still have a THICK krausen three days later.

 

[TexLaw]

Dude, don't sweat it. I don't think I've had a batch, yet, where I didn't screw something up. Sometimes, it's major; sometimes, it's minor. It always happens, though.


TL

 

[Saccharomyces]

At least you didn't injure yourself. If that's the worst that happened I think you did fine.

Whenever I have a brewday that goes smoothly I always worry I forgot something.

 

[CBBaron]

Thats exactly how i strain the hops EXCEPT I use a bucket for the primary.

Great story!!!

Craig

 

[Deacon1856]

See...a bucket would work. That never even crossed my mind. Stupid Better Bottles...

 

[ohiobrewtus]

Things like that have happened to all of us at some point or another.

 

[AnOldUR]

You had this in the carboy!

 

[Deacon1856]

Yep. There it is! Looks even worse hanging there than it did in my BB. I think they make some of those to hang off the back of pickup bumpers here in KY.

 

[cclloyd]

Outstanding!! The best laugh I've had in a while. As has been stated, we've all been there in one form or another.

 

[BierMuncher]

Reminds me of the time 20+ years ago when I went and bought a king sized waterbed...only to discover about 3/4 of the way through the 4 hour construction that our small master bedroom was designed to hold a queen sized bed.

 

[Deacon1856]

Waterbeds are the height of cool with your lady until you lay on one drunk...then they are the Harbingers of Sh*ttiness. That being said, king size waterbeds are worth the ride!

 

[Coastarine]

Success is one of the worst teachers.

 

[EvilTOJ]

Why am I reminded of the time the dog ate a bunch of pantyhose?