Beer Poem

[Thundercougarfalconbird]

So, I had to write a persona poem and use jargon for my Creative writing class. SOOO, here ya go. I'm happy to accept criticism but its more for me to flex my appreciation to the forums and this art we partake in.

IPA

My foamy head gurgling over my shoulder and down my sides
Marvel at my brilliant golden hues
Tiny bubbles fleeing my depths
My scent, A flowery invitation
Freshly poured
Hike my Pilsner glass abode,
Floral bitter biting your buds
Simcoe, Warrior, and Amarillo wed in complexity
Six row, two row malty brawn
A night pass, A six pack
No lite swill will muddle your palate this night

Wort conceived and yeast born
Destined to die by your hand, your lip and your gum
Goodbye kind world, left with arboreal wafting bliss
And the now fuzzy light of the night-posts

Edit: Not too sure how to double space on the forums. But its supposed to be >_>

 

[BuckeyeBrewAZ]

LOL I like it but it got kinda Dark at the end poor yeasties Ill would flip it around start with wort,yeast,sit and wait,glass,floral notes,six pack,goodnight

 

[Thundercougarfalconbird]

Yea, I just kinda went through the beer life cycle at the end there. kinda like its life flashed before its eyes or something. but yea beyond the tasting notes its not very logically set up, but I figure the average reader won't know that =P

 

[gordieb]

Hey just read it and thought it's a nice poem bout beer, but just wondered if you meant to use "arboreal" meaning related to trees?

Perhaps you might use "ephemeral" meaning fleeting or temporary.

Just a little thought overall one of the better poems about beer I've had the pleasure of reading.

 

[Thundercougarfalconbird]

Yea, Was looking for another word relating to flowers