Ok so read over and just ignoring most of the drama and will try to help you out.
I brew 15g+ batches on a routine basis and have learned a few things that I will pass onto you.
I brew with a herms system and coolers. For doing larger 15g+ batches this is something a highly recommend doing. It will help immensely with your efficiency and clarity of beers. It will also help with even temperatures across and throughout the entire cooler. With that said I will start with some basics.
The Herms tank. I would go with 1/2 copper coil, minimum 25 feet on a 9" diameter. You can do this in a keggle but if you have a 20g pot that would be better as you will use the water in there for sparge. Circulate from the bottom and go up.
For coolers you can do a 72 qt, but i recommend either a 120 or 156 for 15g batches as with those you can cover just about every gravity level of beers, the 156 can cover some really high high beers. In my coolers I run loc line with drippers throughout to help with even temps and recirc flow. If you make a home variety in, make sure it covers from end to end and edge to edge with good coverage.
In the coolers for batches of this size you are going to want to hake a solid copper slotted manifold. Those wire/screen manifolds are going to crush really easily in big batches. I assume you could do a CPVC, but i prefer copper.
For your boil you can get away with a 20 but I would deff go 25. 20 is tight for you with hop additions and boils, especially 90 minute boils. So do yourself a favor and go big or go home.
You are going to want a whirlpool on you BK. A simple elbow system works. Come up about 6-8 inches from the bottom and install it. Turn it to where it is just up a little bit and not parallel with the bottom of the BK.
You can chill with an ic. Cool with water first, then use a submersible pump in a cooler with ice water. A plate chiller using the cooler/pump combo works better. I had a counter flow and ended up hating it in larger batches.
For burners go with a BG-14 on the boil or a 32 tip jet burner for the BK. On the HLT you can go with whatever as you are usually maintaining temps a few degrees above your mash depending on how often you are opening cooler and other minor variables.
You can do this system with one pump. It is a pain in the arse though and 2 makes your life easier, especially on the cleaning stages.
On the BK you are going to want a large hop spider or something similar. You can do the painters bags but they really become difficult to use on large batches, especially on IIPA's with many additions.
An 8x14 is a nice size or again go bigger if you can depending on pot style/size.
Fermenting is a huge challenge unless you have a large conical (20+) You can do multiple smaller fermentation devices and blend, but you will be enhancing the chances of infections or oxidation. That and you could possibly get 3 different fermentations numbers and the beer would be hard to replicate down the road.
Not sure what other advice I can give that you will take, but feel free to ask or pm me if you want.
Have you looked at carbing in a sanke before? Little trickier than doing ball/pin lock kegs.