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Last time I had that happen- there happen to be a few cops eating dinner at the place. I asked one of them to verify my ID. my MILITARY ID. They told the bartender and manager that I was Kosher.

poker = time filler

But who admits they are dutch?

Holy crap- Get that clown a 5lb dumbell STAT

LT of a 3 man tactical response team at a large shopping mall?

+ or - begging the wife to allow me to destroy the house?

ooooooo a few seconds late!

Drinking to get drunk? you cant get drunk on 8% Ipas?

I got a ticket in my driveway. I blew a stop at the end of my street. Its a bull**** 3 way stop. By BS I mean there is no reason for 2 of the stop signs. Anyway he pulled me over as I pulled into my driveway. Cop- know why I pulled you over? me- yea I blew that stop sign Cop- huh... me-...

Ihave a friend who bought a ticket to hawaii. I bought a straight razor.

TROGDOR the BURNINATOR!!!!!!!!!!!! *headbangs*

that was awesome- Angry nerd is always good for a laugh

Hey hey hey- there are 2 things I like to mix with coke. One is burbon. The other is whores.

I <3 you burbon! You make a long week slip slide away....... Wait Paul Simon and Burbon?!?!? *its taken me 20 min to write this post cohearntly*

Ahhh yes my love come to me! Dance with the coca cola and make sweet sweet love to my liver!

Ha! if I didnt have spin class tomorrow at 6am. Youd bet your ass id be knee deep in some right now

This is obviously bull**** considering when they studied Alaska they didnt interview me

Its all packaged in frozen bags. Heated and served for 2 reasons. Its always the same and its way cheaper.

Who the hell goes to applebees for steak?

This is why I dont have any money. It prevents silly issues like this