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+1 for the All Creatures reference.

If you're not looking for the mystical Weihenstephaner lager crispness, you can totally run W-34/70 at ale temps (upper 60s °F / 18-20°C), and it'll finish in ale times (7 - 14 days depending on OG). The best stout I ever made was with W-34/70.

Maybe try a batch with dry yeast like US-05, S-04, or BRY-97 ... or even Saflager 34/70. I've found 34/70 tastes cleaner at ale temps than US-05 --- it's kinda become my favorite clean "ale" yeast 🤔.

1 US fluid ounce is about 29.6 ml. If you look around online, there are calculators that will estimate the calories in your fermented beverage based on the starting and finishing gravities.

Personally, I stick with ale yeasts, but I know homebrewers who make really good mead with wine yeasts.

I've done a handful of meads now and have only ever used ale yeasts. I like strains that throw some esters but not so much phenols. Try the recipe builder here: http://www.meadmakr.com/batch-buildr/ To hit 14% ABV in a completely dry (FG=1) mead, you'd need ~3.5 kg of honey in 10L. But...

Some other places on the internet were reporting low (30-40%) viability: your report gives me added hope for my own planned attempt at home malting popcorn. 👍

What viability did you get from the popcorn? Did most of it germinate or were a lot of the kernels duds?

The only ones I can find are too big to fit down the neck of normal 12oz or 33cl bottles.

Maybe put food-safe keg lube on the face between the valve core and the mason adapter?

I just tighten until the red handle is flush with the valve body. Kind of a built-in stopping point. I only had that issue once: when I had removed the mason jar adapter to dump rather than just the jar. As long as I stick to just removing the jar, I don't have that prob.

WiFi shouldn't be an issue with TILTs. It's a Bluetooth connection between the TILT and your phone. I've never had this prob, but my fermenters are plastic. 🤷‍♂️

I can get food-grade 5-gallon buckets at Lowe's where I am. Drill a hole in the lid for an airlock: Boom! Second fermenter ... you'd lose a little of the 5.5 gallons but 🤷‍♂️ at this point you prob don't need much headspace for krausen and you'd prob lose 0.5 - 0.75 gal to trub & lees anyway.

StarSan is my go-to, too, dosed out into RO water a gallon at a time. But I was trying to come up with a small-batch beginner's instructions for a friend that wouldn't involve ordering a lot of specialty items. But I also see now that you can get IO Star no-rinse sanitizer 4oz for $4 on...

Has anyone tried this? https://beerliever.com/bleach-no-rinse-sanitiser-home-brewing-beer/

I second (third? fourth?) the suggestions above. You can order 3ml disposable syringes online by the gross (they're handy for measuring out StarSan, etc, too). Grab some and use them to carefully dose a similar stout with a range of known quantities (.5ml/100ml, 1ml / 100ml, 2ml / 100ml, etc.)...

Hmmm. Why not: Save and sanitize a 1L soda bottle. Prepare 75cL of wort by your preferred method. Add wort and yeast to bottle, leave the cap loose until the krausen falls then tighten the cap, give the bottle a test squeeze every day until it's good and taut, then cold crash & gently decant...

What's in it? Was it successful?

Yes and moderately tart. I'm thinking of bumping the sugar a little on the next batch to try to increase acidity. I don't trust the calibration on my pH meter; so I can't tell you objectively how acidic it got. Started at 1.048 and finished at 1.010. But I'm not sure how to account for what the...

And somewhat less simple, poor man's pseudo-lambic: Hoi Polloimbic 45% Pale ale malt, 45% raw wheat, 10% sugar, Styrian Golding + Strisselspalt to 10 IBUs. 1-month primary with PhillySour (1g/L) Then 2-months with Funk Weapon #2 on about 250g/L of local ripe plums & local sour plums. Bottled...