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I find that I have clarity issues if I go below 80ppm. Not so important with lagers, but definitely a problem with ales. I'm at 7,000 feet and my boil is 94C, so that may be part of it too.

12,135.5 + Brown Ale 5.5 Kentucky Common 11 Norwegian Farmhouse 5 ESB 27.5 Best bitter 16.5 Hefe Weissbier 16.5 Marzen 11 Vienna Lager 16.5 Kolsch 5.5 Foreign Extra Stout 5.5 Witbier 5.5 Weizenbock 2.5 (128.5) = 12,264

The yeast starter tab in your recipe is pretty bad, but if you go to Tools > Yeast Starter, that calculator is quite good. I find that the color in BS is hit and miss too, even if you have the correct malt color. That said, there are variances between maltsters, and 300 for Roasted Barley seems...

Just reread your post. You may want to go longer on the beer line too. I have 16 feet of beer line to avoid foam, but I have to carb at a higher psi because of altitude. I'm at 7,000 ft.

30psi for a week would do it. I think I'd do 12psi for a week, or 30psi for 48 hours. It's probably overcarbed. You may just need to gradually release pressure over a few days until it stabilizes at serving pressure. PS: Keezer looks awesome.

9808 + 5.5g ESB + 5.5g Amber Ale + 3g Barleywine = 9,822

I'd lose the pilsner and carafa and go all vienna, unless you're thinking of competitions and such. The second hop addition seems a little heavy-handed. I'd dial that back so you end up with around 20-22 IBUs. For something crisp and dry, you'll want your sacch rest to be around 148. That...

WLP500 will dry out a beer but the esters it produces generally prevent the beer from tasting too dry, if that makes any sense. I'd let it finish. The yeast needs to clean up the beer after primary fermentation, and won't be able to do this if you crash it early. I've had this yeast go down to...

Quite normal

Potato yogurt, if you're lucky.

7943 + 5.5 Hefe = 7948.5

1 pound of brown malt is a lot. A little goes a long way, especially with chocolate malt in the mix.

7590 + 5 Porter = 7595

My understanding is that torrified wheat is whole kernel wheat that has been pre-gelatinized and does not need a cereal mash. Essentially flaked wheat that hasn't been flaked. Will give you improved body and head retention.

Can't fit food into the freezer because it's full of hops, but not even considering moving the hops.

May need some crystal? Simpson's medium is English ale. Golden Naked Oats may give you that biscuit. It's a crystal, so no special mashing requirements or clarity concerns. If you can't get those, there really is no substitute, but 60L and Biscuit malt would do. Maybe consider WLP002 or WY1968...

GNO and flaked oats are very different. GNO is more like a crystal malt. I used it in a pale bitter recently with absolutely no clarity issues.

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I think I just washed mine, and filled with water and boiled for 30 minutes. I'm not even sure you have to do the second part. I think you could just get away with a thorough clean and rinse.

7322.5 + 98.5 = 7421