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Unless you absolutely have to (ie, only one fermenter and just got to have some beer right NOW), leave it be. Time will mellow most mistakes and what seemed to be maybe undrinkable becomes okay afer a couple of weeks or three.

Interesting vid, but the poor schmuck never followed up with the bottling video, nor answered many persons questions. Any unhopped malt should work. Yes, the bottling process requires additional sugar, adding and mixed in just prior to bottling (unless you use carb drops. As for recipe, whew...

I don't think it is the SM because even unrinsed, you've diluted a minuscule amount. I suspect it is your recipe, but unless you post it, I can't be sure. Did you use any base malt? Or just caramel malt? If you made a beer with just caramel malt, it is very likely there is nothing for your yeast...

Dumb question, but since you said you made a half batch of 2.5 gallons, that means you split all the ingredients in half too, right?

Why does their calculator use current temperature of the beer? If you've cold crashed, then you'll be getting it way under carbonated. On these calculators, you should always use the highest temperature seen in the fermentation process. That is what determines the amount of residual co2. As for...

"Ignore spelling errors, english is not my original language" Yeah, well you hit "pain in the ass" dead center! :D You don't say how you made the beer. Was it an extract kit? If so, it's possible you didn't mix things up well enough, IF you followed the recipe and water amounts. BTW, did you...

Only to pregnant women and small dogs.

Give it a shot. I usually do it similarly. Never a problem, and I too din't understand venting it it you are going to leave hooked up for several days after. The head space should come into equilibrium soon.

Check one of the many carbonation calculators which can be found online through the use of google. I say this in general without directly answering your question because it cannot be directly answered without knowing how much co2 volume you want and the highest temp reached in your fermentation...

Boiling grain for one hour?

If you are bound and determined to rush it, just connect the gas hose to a black disconnect. Both problems solved! BTW, if you're "shaking" it, best to always disconnect the gas before shaking each time. You don't want beer coming up into your regulator.

I think of two things. One, you still have a leak in the line. That is the main cause of bubbles in the line. Two, your pick up/beer out tube may be clogged. One thing to try, switching some lines out on another keg. If the problem continues, it's the line. If not, it's in the keg, either the...

Kit beers meaning extract? It would be nice to tell us your process and some more info. Did you read from both fermenters? What often happens is that the extract wasn't completed mixed with the water addition. You will get sweeter spots and less sweet spots in the wort, believe it or not, and...

Where are you, if I may ask? If you are far away, then that may be what you need to do. If you run a search here or on the wider web, there are people doing their own malting in small batches. If you try it, keep notes and let us know how it goes.

Contributing to the delinquency of a minor, it seems.:D

Read through this http://www.mrmalty.com/pitching.php

Oh, it's possible, but that would probably be the hardest way to make beer IMO. Malting of barley is a fine science. You'll find that most homebrewers (99.9%) rely on buying their grains already roasted because it is difficult and time consuming. If you want to malt to experience, go for it...

My first guess, 10 gallons divided by 5 gallons is 2. But since this freezer is actually 10 cubic feet and not gallons, hard to say. Judging by the picture, 2 kegs may still be the correct answer. You normally can't get a full size keg on the hump section.

I'm not a thermo-dynamist, but I would think having it a bit smaller is good. If you leave it stationary, you should get decent thermo flow through and up. Most of us find that helping out makes it faster, that is, swirling the coil around. When you do this, you can actually feel the coil...

Hey Blue Frog, where are you in Nagano? I've got a cabin in Nojiri. I'm up there all the time. Maybe we can hookup sometime.