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Did you throw the brew bucket in a cooler of ice?

If it was a stick_on thermometer run an ice cube across it. It will let you know if it is in fact not broken. Did you pitch your yeast already? You might think about putting the entire brew bucket into a cooler with ice. Even if you don't, you won't ruin your beer. It's just that fermenting at...

Stop using soap and go to PBW. It's amazing stuff. Rinse out your bottles post usage. Clean them with PBW when convenient, then sanitize them on bottling day.

Yup, after boil it won't matter.

You can do it over and over. 5X is about the time some people stay the yeast can start to mutate, but you'll find people on here who do it 10X with no flavor issues.

I'm fairly new to brewing, having just started in April (but I'm already 60 gallons in now). resist the urge to drink this too early. There were a couple of batches that I'd thought would be undrinkable. But a couple months later are significantly less bitter and a lot smoother.

There is no problem with bottling it at 1.012 if it remains at 1.012 for 3 days or so.

More like a gunshot. It plugged up the airlock and shot it into the ceiling of my basement. The blowoff tube was just my racking tubing which wasn't large enough to handle the amount of pressure, hence the plate weights to keep the lid from blowing off the bucket. It's amazing how much those can...

I pitched a really low gravity beer (3% alc for beer pong purposes) onto a full yeast cake. 80 lbs of plate weights and a blow off tube later... I lost a full gallon of beer (from the 5 that I started with) to the blow off tube. You don't need anything close to the full cake for 2.5 gallons. I...

Throw your next batch onto a full yeast cake from the batch previous... That is the only time I've run into explosive fermentation. But a blow off tube and 80 lbs of plate weights were enough to keep things contained. I think most of the examples on here are due to significant over pitching...

I would certainly turn this into an ale. US - 05 works. 1272 Wyeast works well if you wanted to go pick that up too. I made the exact same thing and turned it into an ale (I don't have lagering capabilities yet).

Mine was a Cream Ale. It was only the second beer I'd made with steeping grains. I don't know if I torched those at way too high of a temp or if the hops were way way off or what. But the result was an amazing beer that was smooth, tasted great, and then 7 seconds post swallow you were hit with...

You're correct. There are calculators online. Don't forget to adjust your OG and FG to temperature.

There are several brewers on this site who keep a beer in secondary (or primary for that matter) for that long. Taste it. If you like what's going on bottle it. You should be fine. It may take longer to carb up since more of the yeast has probably fallen out of suspension, but it will get there.

You should be pretty safe, but you're going to want to chill them down prior to opening. Just because they aren't bombs doesn't meant they won't open violently if you don't chill them down first.

Or cut your water by a bit. I've missed my OG a few times and I've noticed it was due to a bit too much water or that I didn't stir in the water I topped up with well enough. Which skewed my number low.

Looks better than normal. Sometimes the additional CO2 produced from the additional sugars (read apricot puree) makes the fruit float, which can make transfer to a bottling bucket a bit of a pain. Nice job.

Don't rush this too much 5 in primary and 7 in secondary may nitty be long enough. trust your gravity readings.

Give it a chance. It gets a lot easier. adding something to stabilize the bottles (a piece of wood with a bottle sized hole) also does wonders. That being said. I have gotten used to drinking a while lot of Grolsch. 24 flip top bottles for 20 dollars chapter than your LHBS.

Did you take a gravity reading at the beginning and at secondary? How long on primary? If it was reasonably alcoholic you'r probably ok. The white floaties could be the nutrient. I added cinnamon in secondary not too long ago, it raised up similarly. You may have to wait this one out.