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My first brew, a 3.9% abv beer about knocked me on my ass. I figured it was a big gravity reading error on my part.

The best tip I can give you is to follow directions and Have Fun!

Hey all, I have a Saison and Kolsch fermenting and ready to bottle, and it's time to begin another batch. I want my next brew to be fast and easy. Minimum primary and bottle conditioning time. A light colored beer with a good bit of hops flavor. ABV low - average. I'm looking for...

Sounds like could be a very good beer as long as you don't overdo the peanut butter cups. I'll keep my attention on this post.

I only paid $1 for my airlocks. That's probably cheaper than balloons. -DZ

I'd think it would be fine in the secondary at room temp. How long in primary?

I'm actually thinking about a minimum of four weeks in primary for all of my beers. I don't believe 6 weeks will hurt at all.

I just brewed this beer. I allowed it 3 weeks in primary then bottled. Then three weeks in the bottle and it tasted pretty good. Then for experiment I decided to give some of it another two weeks in the bottle in the cooler 55 degree basement.

I'd also recommend checking the prices at various brew shops. I discovered that there is quite a price difference between the brew shops in my area for extract kits. I believe the cheapest might have been a Brewers Best kit for $27. Also there are some cheap kits on Amazon, but then...

Per Palmer's book some suggestions could be that it's not ready for consumption and needs more conditioning, or a bad yeast, but likely the first suggestion.

For most brews most suggest to bottle 2-3 weeks. I've just decided to expand my standard bottling period to 4 weeks for hopefully better flavor and carbonation.

how many gallons is the carboy?

This sounds like another tempting recipe to try. Not enough time in a year to try them all though, guess that's what's so interesting about homebrewing.

Pitching your yeast at too high a temp can stall out the fermentation. I'd consider re-pitching at this point, and do so at a much lower temp (70 degrees).

Sounds like you'll have a good beer once complete. Maybe take another gravity reading before bottling.

Question #4 was a tuffy. I couldn't decide so I just closed my eyes and clicked an answer. #4 Which of these would you prefer? IPA Wheat Amber Ale

Palmer's book says soapy flavors can result from being in the primary too long after fermentation is complete where a soap is created by fatty acids in the trub breaking down. Although in your case it doesn't sound like you were in the primary for very long at all, unless for some reason your...

I guess I should have started this thread in the beginners or general discussion categories.

I just moved my saison to a carboy secondary because I wanted to free up the bucket. Not a big deal at all, just be sanitary. Or you can always buy another primary bucket like I did, but now here I am still looking for more primary room and going to a secondary.

As a newbie I learned the bubbles are just for fun. Learn to take gravity readings, and in most cases let it go for at least three weeks before bottling.