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Uhm, I suppose if there were a way to attach an air lock or something to that affect, but you certainly wouldn't want to pitch your yeast and seal it up, all that would do is carb your beer to like 3+ volumes and leave you with a hoppy malt soda. It sounds like you're on a budget (in which case...

Hahahaha. My friends used to drink this ****. I always thought it tasted like a bowl of fruit loops in water.

YES. #1 for sure, well done. It might look good to arch "Stittsville Ontario" the other direction, like the animal is standing on it.

@subliminalurge: Haha, that's a really interesting idea, It's hard to imagine not immediately pitching the yeast into a brew I spent all day (or most of the day) making, I don't have the patience for that. @acuenca: Yes. haha. P.s. I know this isn't youtube or twitter, but it seemed more...

What is the "no chill method"? Does this literally mean you just let your wort sit until it's ~75 degrees?

I think it's a different type of "salt".

I should know this, but why are sparges typically done at higher temperatures than strike water? Does it act as mash out?

Cimirie has a good point. While I originally chose #1 I think if you made the font more readable and distinguished from the illustration It would be great. I notice you might have attempted to do that with a white veneer around the text, I think it would look better if you replaced it by...

I would rack it to secondary just before you leave.

I like your style. :p

It kind of depends on what you want your grist/water ratio to be, the boil off rate and grain absorption. Different grist/water ratios promote different enzymes, like temperatures but to a lesser degree. But listening to Yooper is always a good idea.

The amount of yeast does not affect carbonation. It matters how much priming solution you add before carbonation. I definitely recommend racking into a separate container before carbonating, all that Trub will likely lead to some off flavors, and as said before, good luck serving your beer.

Cold temperatures increase bottle conditioning time but decrease Kegging time. I'm going to assume different yeasts carb faster than others probably due to their attenuation. IME 2 to 3 weeks results in a complete carbonation.

It's hard to tell, as you probably know there are infinite variables in brewing, is it undrinkable? You could try distilling it, although that may or may not be illegal where you live.

Bread yeast is fit for aerobic respiration in a low simple-sugar environment. I'm not saying you can't ferment with it, but It won't be efficient and you may end up with undesirable by-products. I used to make an inmate style wine back in high school using bread yeast, it was horrible. I just...

Bread yeast works through respiration, and will not perform well in wort. I do not recommend putting it into your beer.

It's definitely not the StarSan. Did your beer come in contact with anything unusual during mashing/boiling/fermenting? I reccomend checking your waters Ph next time, and it's Calcium/Chloride/Sulfate content if possible to make sure everything is where it should be.

Check your local library, you'd be surprised how many books they have on beer/brewing. IME. Any bookstore should have a beer section, and amazon is always a good place to look. "Great American Craft Beer" would be a good read for what you're researching.

I think the first one is more merry. Keep experimenting though, you might come up with something even better!

Hahaha, I laughed my a** off reading this thread. I love the home brewers passion, it's amazing just how little respect people can have for your beer, they don't realize how much work and care we put into it. I have a beer enthusiast friend who works at a beer store (where I purchase my beer)...