The 3 hours is a "proofing" time to verify viable yeast. It is not necessary to wait the 3 hours, however it may increase the lag time if you smack then immediately pitch. In short, it's best to make sure it's viable, but it is not required.
If I understand your question correctly, you can absolutely use a spoon to whirlpool the wort as the immersion chiller is cooling. It will help it to cool faster than leaving the wort unstirred. The pump just makes the process easier. If you're going to build a chiller, personally I would...
Agreed. The foam is also an active sanitizer, so even a little foam in the bottles won't hurt anything. There is less phosphoric acid in Star San than a can of Coke, but it has worked great for me for years.
If all else fails throw in some yeast energizer and maybe even a packet of champagne yeast. The champagne yeast will usually dry the beer out quite a bit, but 1.005 is probably unrealistic.
I would recommend getting a beer equipment kit and an additional glass or plastic carboy. You'll need it for wine and it is pretty handy for beer as well. As for any liquors you'll need a still which would be a separate process after fermentation. There are websites that will custom build one...