Introducing my: "WTF Else Could Go Wrong?" Ale...

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missjacki

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How to begin the story?....let's see...thought I could squeeze in brewing a quick extract ale while my 2 year old boy napped today.

Put him down for nap. Santizied equipment, boiled water etc. When I went to add the syrup to the water I realized there was MOLD all over the surface of the extract...this is the first time I've had to deal with mold; though I've read about it before and basically learned that you can scoop out the mold and your beer will probably be OK. So I came to this forum just to double check that assumption; and was reassured: "Go ahead and use the extract" (sans mold of course.....)

OK, so I add the syrup. At pretty much that exact moment, my boy wakes up crying unexpectedly after only about 30 mins...I had counted on a 2+ hour nap...so I go to deal with him for a couple of minutes and come back to learn that I have SCORCHED the extract to the bottom of the pot because I did not get the chance to stir the mixture and turn down the heat like I normally would....

So I take a strainer and sift off all the floating chunks of scorched crud....

Now it is time to add hops....as I am adding vacuum sealed hops to their straining bags, my child falls off a chair straight to his head with a sickening "thump" and he immediately screams bloody murder....I literally drop the hops and bag and go to comfort my child.... when I come back most of the hops have landed on the counter....which I figure..."Oh well, I cleaned the counters this morning, it's probably fine." and I proceed to sweep the hops (and whatever else) from the counter into the straining bags....

I add the hops to the wort...

Then, of course, the phone rings....when I am in the middle of a conversation with one of my husband's customers I realize the wort is boiling over and I am losing precious liquid gold!!!!!!!!!

If it were anyone else but a customer on the phone, I could abruptly end the converstaion...but I have to keep my cool and quietly attend to the boil-over whilst not seeming rude....so I sacrified precious ounces of sugars for the greater goal of having a successful business....

That was basically it....after that everything seemed to go pretty normally. I just pitched the yeast about an hour ago...curious to see how this baby turns out....

Considering that the recipe for which I was most excited turned out to be one of the biggest turds I have ever drank....maybe this will turn out to be spectacular?

keeping my fingers crossed.......:rockin:
 
I tried to brew once while my kids napped. Never again. After I thought nothing else could go wrong, I managed to drop and break the carboy and lose it all.
 
Don't sweat it! Two of my best brews were ones that I thought were ruined.

I got drunk during the boil of one and don't remember anything after dropping the IC in the BK. I woke up several hours later (3:00AM) and ran out to the kitchen only to discover that it was in the carboy, fermenting madly. My first thought was that my wife had rescued it from ruin, but I knew better than that :)

The other one was brewed on a very windy day. I moved from the back yard to the front porch for some shelter during the boil and the wind shifted too. Not exactly sure how many times the burner blew out, but I never got much of a boil. OG was terribly low, but the end product was great.

The only thing that the beer gods don't forgive is poor sanitation :)

Bob
 
I've thought about brewing with my daughter in the baby backpack thing we have for her. It could work.
 
I feel your pain sister! My wife works most nights and weekends so I have the kids (6,5 and 3) while I brew. Let me just tell you it does get better... slowly :)
Good thing homebrew is hard to really ruin, I'm sure your brew will be very tasty :mug:
 
Seriously?!?!? everyone is okay with a child falling on their head? You're more reassuring about the beer?!?!?
 
CreekBrewery said:
LMAO, this must be coming from somebody with no kids. Kids are made of rubber :)

2 kids ,10 and 2yrs old. And yes it very much sounds like you care more about the beer than the well being of a child. That would have been the end of the brewing night. But eh. My kids don't have brain damage from blunt force trauma.
 
2 kids ,10 and 2yrs old. And yes it very much sounds like you care more about the beer than the well being of a child. That would have been the end of the brewing night. But eh. My kids don't have brain damage from blunt force trauma.

Calm down. I am pretty sure everyone assumed if the the writer was writing on this story about the beer and not her kid that the kid must be fine.
 
When the OP didn't mention posting on an I-phone from the ER....... kid's fine. If a kid isn't bumping/falling on/etc. heads, it's 'cause they are taking a nap......
 
2 kids ,10 and 2yrs old. And yes it very much sounds like you care more about the beer than the well being of a child. That would have been the end of the brewing night. But eh. My kids don't have brain damage from blunt force trauma.

People like this are why I stay away, or try to, from getting involved in forums. I always seem to run into these people and I let them ruin the experience. It almost seems like pompous people flock to forums, not just this one, so they can run their mouths. Good thing their are plenty of awesome helpful types around here :tank:

BTW, just a month ago I had to stop in the middle of the brew day to drive an hour to pick my kids up because my oldest boy became sick. Someday I'll be as good of a parent as you.
 
Marlowefire said:
Seriously?!?!? everyone is okay with a child falling on their head? You're more reassuring about the beer?!?!?

As soon as I read that the kid took a header, I though "how long till someone starts bitching about some sort of bad parenting?" Didnt eeven make it off the first page.
 
Mine wasn't rubber. I distinctly remember being told it was made out of cement. My head hurt other things...dented things...bent things...
 
HA! I remember getting that one too. Kids are tougher at that age than we are now. I think it's because they're still growing. So RDWHAHB...
 
Seriously?!?!? everyone is okay with a child falling on their head? You're more reassuring about the beer?!?!?
This isn't a parenting forum. I assume that she'd have said something if the kid was seriously injured. Calm down.
 
Lolz. That reminds me when our daughter was a toddler. She was all dressed up to go shopping as soon as I came home from work. I caught a little buzz,& decided to lay down on the pit group we had for a short recharge. I didn't know they wanted to go out. She came in all dressed up,& picked up this big 1" thick glass ash tray we had & bashed me in the head with it! Point taken,giddy up go daddy...:drunk::D
 
Yeah it sucked big time, but I felt worse at how guilty she felt about it. SHe apologised at least daily for a month. I love my little girl she is awesome!
 
I actually have brewed with my 1 year old son in the backpack carrier we have. While I had to do stuff he was in it and when i had a break i got him out and we played. It actually worked out quite well.
 
2 kids ,10 and 2yrs old. And yes it very much sounds like you care more about the beer than the well being of a child. That would have been the end of the brewing night. But eh. My kids don't have brain damage from blunt force trauma.

Can you even see the computer screen all the way up there on that horse? Take your discussion and concerns here: http://www.parentingforums.org/

Last I checked this is a brewing forum, in the topic section of "General Beer Discussion: Topics not pertaining to any of the forums in the section but still dealing with home brewing."

I wouldn't go to the parenting forums, read a similar story, then post "FOR GOD'S SAKE WOMAN, WHAT ABOUT THE BEER?!?!?!"

Plus I feel like most people on here are proud parents. I highly doubt someone would post a story like this just to find out their kid died from a brain aneurysm.
 
In any event, I wouldn't be the least bit shocked if it ends up being fantastic. All those little extras you scooped in with the hops will probably just give your beer "character" ;)
 
oh yeah. the kid was fine. you have no idea how tough my 2 year old is. He falls on his head almost daily. Call me a bad parent if you want; but unless I use a leash or some sort of shock collar there is no stopping the tornado that he is. Around 11 months of age the pediatrician told me I could stop calling about spills, trips and falls unless there were several specific criteria met. I haven't had to call since!

oh and I'll lay down 2:1 odds that my 2 year old can beat up your 3 year old! :)
 
ha ha! this makes me think of 2 nights ago....he woke up crying in the middle of the night; so I brought him into bed with us. Then my husband got up extra early and it was just me and the boy. Still alseep, he rolled over; fell out of bed, and cried for a split second...by the time I went to pick him up he was already sucking his thumb and back asleep...so I left him there and he slept on the ground next to the bed for about 2 more hours...
 
Duct Tape + Bed insures that your child does not get in the way and stays safe ;) In all seriousness I usually brew late at night when my son is in bed. I only brew in the day if the woman has the day off and can keep track of him.
 
Duct Tape + Bed insures that your child does not get in the way and stays safe ;) In all seriousness I usually brew late at night when my son is in bed. I only brew in the day if the woman has the day off and can keep track of him.



I brewed with just me and the 3 year old just once. Never again!!! I felt like a life guard at a toddler pool trying to keep her away from the turkey fryer.
 
I brewed with just me and the 3 year old just once. Never again!!! I felt like a life guard at a toddler pool trying to keep her away from the turkey fryer.

My son is almost 3 and he is so curious about everything. He doesnt quite understand the hey get out of the kitchen I have boiling wort on right now. Im not gonna lie though someday I will let him help me. In the future my 16 year old son will be bitching how he helps make beer but cant drink it lol.
 

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