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At 6am on a Sunday I’m starting my mash water while other sleep. Or, feeling very anxious when a tap is dry and I don’t have a replacement keg.
You know you're a home brewer when?
- Thread starter hopmonster
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When you seriously consider calling you home-working wife from work, and have her go and check the fermenter and tell you how it looks and behaves, multiple times during the day...
Jako
Well-Known Member
Close for me, I work nights. Called my wife at 3 am thinking I left the RO water running all day. I was 100% sure I was going to have a flood
I just had a dream that my stirbar was found at the bottom of a bottle conditioned homebrew. I lost it in 2019...
Imhoppy
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While preparing a bowl of cold breakfast cereal, you figure out the grain bill, grain temperature, batch size, and mash temperature. But wonder if your bowl size is sufficient for mashing at the proper milk to grain ratio of 1.5 qts/lb. Then you thoughtfully consider how long to mash and how often you should mix, if at all, before lifting spoon to mouth.
For the love of God how is it I own now 2 full size refrigerators, 2 mini fridges, and 2 deep freezers yet I have no room to defrost my damn pork chops.
You divide your stimulus check up between online bulk hops, lhbs, and equipment upgrades..... Then maybe use whats left for something nice for your wife.... Sh** there's none left.
You spend $80 on brewing ingredients for a 5 gallon batch of IPA. No local brewing supply near me so all from Amazon. 2 types DME, 40L caramel malt and 3 hops. Luckily I had yeast and 1 out of 4 hop varieties on hand. Only my 3rd batch. Thermostat is on the way for my fridge fermentor.
Check out Atlantic Brew Supply. They should be cheaper than that!
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when you get a giggle, and want to say i just spent $80 on base malt to make 30-40 gallons, to a newbie! (Welcome Aboard!
)
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You hear about the blockage of the Suez Canal and wonder how much European malt or Asian stainless steel is part of the growing backlog.
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When you go to a bar that serves "craft" beer and say, I can do better than that and start adding ingredients to your brewing app.
A friend of my husband returned the bottles, but never bothered to rinse them out! Like the soup nazi, I said. “No more beer for you!”
when you brew sunday, keg monday, and brew again tuesday!
Northern_Brewer
British - apparently some US company stole my name
When you see headlines about "the Suez blockage" and assume it's about Czech hops gumming up a recirculation pump...
When you ask some one you know, that has been known to sell certain things (we'll call them herbs) what pocket scale they would recommend for weighing grams to .01 so you can weigh out your brewing salts more accurately.
when i read your post the days after weighing out 550mg's of malt, and 33mg's (one kernel) crystal malt to test for color...and try and remember what cheap mg scale i bought years ago to recomend.....
edit: here's the one i have...
https://www.ebay.com/itm/164256390237?epid=1213461838&hash=item263e719c5d:g:u-0AAOSwFnFWBt~G
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You know you're a frustrated homebrewer when, after sipping on the almost-perfect copy of the IPA that won a couple of medals (and some sweet swag) last year, you spend at least 5 minutes cursing this d*mned pandemic thing for cancelling all the local competitions. This darling concoction would have won again, hands down, yes I'm biased but I don't care. Oh well, more for me....
You know you're a homebrewer when every vine on the side of the road elicits a second look to check if it's a hop vine.
Jako
Well-Known Member
when you get a giggle, and want to say i just spent $80 on base malt to make 30-40 gallons, to a newbie! (Welcome Aboard!
buying Barke is not cheap. but i paid a few extra bucks and had my LHBS order for me.
When you hold a 4' by 6' piece of cardboard up to block 20 mile an hour winds so you can finish your boil in your back yard and neighbors are slowing down to observe the situation as they walk by.
Snark_Wolf_Brewing
Snark Wolf Brewing
When you make the dumb, easily avoidable mistake of not measuring a brand new mini fridge before purchasing, get it home and discover that the door won't close with the 2.5 gallon keg you wanted to use sitting inside the fridge. Then, when you check to see if you can return the fridge, it turns out that it's considered a major appliance purchase and not eligable for return or refund. So, you spend the next several days scouring the DIY section here on HBT for ideas, because you're too stubborn to let your dumb luck keep you down for long but too broke at the moment to just go buy a bigger fridge. 
Snark_Wolf_Brewing
Snark Wolf Brewing
Put a collar on the door like the collar on the keezers so the kegs fit (search keezer builds).When you make the dumb, easily avoidable mistake of not measuring a brand new mini fridge before purchasing, get it home and discover that the door won't close with the 2.5 gallon keg you wanted to use sitting inside the fridge. Then, when you check to see if you can return the fridge, it turns out that it's considered a major appliance purchase and not eligable for return or refund. So, you spend the next several days scouring the DIY section here on HBT for ideas, because you're too stubborn to let your dumb luck keep you down for long but too broke at the moment to just go buy a bigger fridge.
Snark_Wolf_Brewing
Snark Wolf Brewing
I was already thinking along that line.
Here's a great thread for that. I followed this when I built my fermentation chamber, and it turned out great!
Snark_Wolf_Brewing
Snark Wolf Brewing
SWEET!!! Just what I was looking for!
When you're up in the wee sma's after having fell asleep on the couch too early the night before, sitting in the garage/brewery sipping on something tasty, trying to think of what you need to order for the brewery and cannot think of a darn thing other than grain, that the husband has graciously given permission to buy that day because he's going to the bowling alley to look at and try out new bowling balls. Which means there will be a new one in his "arsenal" (yes that's really what bowlers say) by the end of the day.
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When all you can think about is retiring and brewing full time!
Snark_Wolf_Brewing
Snark Wolf Brewing
When you haven't even ordered the ingredients yet from your LHBS to make your next batch (planning on making 5 gallons of German Leichtbier from the HomeBrew Challenge YouTube Channel's recipe), and you're already looking up recipes for the next batch or two....or three after that one. 
When your fever dreams the night after getting dose #2 of a COVID vaccine all concern homebrewing.
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How about when a co-worker returns a dirty growler?
Nope, not even a rinse or so it seems...
Snark_Wolf_Brewing
Snark Wolf Brewing
How about when a co-worker returns a dirty growler?
No more beer for him....
PersonalBrewer
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When you have seven Kegs on hand (3 in the Keezer) that have beer in them and buy two more kegs so that you can have more beer on hand and won't have to brew outside when it's more than 90 degrees!
You promise your kids next year we can harvest the dandelions for a saison and your wife doesn’t blink.
GrogNerd
mean old man
... your entire existence can be summed up in a single meme
When you're making oatmeal for breakfast, and you stir it like you're mashing in...
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You are at the grocery store and can't decide on the beer you'll get as you would much prefer drink your own.
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