you can't pick your kids' friends

[Walker]

This is a long rant, but I feel the payoff at the end is worth the read.

My son (4 years old) is on spring break this week, and his best buddy Andy (5 years old) spent the night at our house last night. I'm really not a fan of this kid. He can be very rude, disrespectful, obnoxious, selfish, and outright mean at times. But, my son likes to play with him and they usually get along OK, so I grit my teeth and tolerate the kid.

However, last night I started to get REALLY frustrated. His buddy seem to have all of his nasty traits cranked up to overdrive, and was really being hurtful to my son.

example 1: Andy brought toys over for the sleepover, but it seemed that the ONLY reason he brought them was to not let my son play with them. Andy didn't want to play with them and clearly stated that, but he wouldn't let my sone play with them either and clearly stated that as well.

example 2: Andy would refuse to share things, and would take things away from my son. When my son protested, Andy would say, "I'm the guest, and I get to do what I want."

Well.. I put a stop to that **** and I raised my voice (not "yelled", but a big booming "daddy" voice) and explained to Andy that we are all equal in my house and guests don't get special privledges or rights.. especially the right to be selfish.

After a few hours of this kind of stuff, I really felt like my hands were tied; I couldn't discipline Andy because he wasn't my son, but his behavior and treatment of my son was so terrible that I really wanted my son to have some revenge of some sort.

But, kids are resilient and even though my son was being traeated poorly, he kept bouncing back and wasn't really phased too much. I took a little comfort in that, but I still wanted justice. What could I do?

Anyway, at the end of the night, I got peace of mind.

The kids had been playing outside and had gotten really muddy/dirty, and they badly needed a bath. I took my daughter into one bathroom to bathe her and my wife took the boys into the other bathroom to bathe them (I was at a point where I didn't even want to be around Andy anymore.)

From down the hall, I hear my wife telling the boys to get undressed, go potty, and get into the tub. There is some shuffling around for a minute or two and then I hear my son's voice drift down the hall.

"Wow, Andy... look how much bigger my penis is than yours."



-walker

 

[fifelee]

LMAO...what a proud daddy.

 

[rdwj]

Lol - that's classic!

Did SWMBO pee her pants laughing? That would have been a hard one not to react to.

 

[Chairman Cheyco]

Hey, the ranting mod is back!

 

[krispy d]

beautiful!

 

[homebrewer_99]

Classic. If I were you I'd put that into a word doc, print it, frame it then put it away in a box to give to your son later on.

Fifteen years from now he'd probably forgot that he said it.

 

[Cheesefood]

AWWWE-SOME!!!

Not even sort of looking forward to meeting the Milhouses that Miles brings home as his friends. We've got a long time to go on that. He's just starting to talk, so sass-back won't come for a few more years, right?

 

[Ize]

That's righteous Walker. :rockin:

He's just starting to talk, so sass-back won't come for a few more years, right?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL....

(Deep breath)

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Mine made it to 3.

3 and 1 month remains to be seen and that's next week.

Enjoy the babbling while you can.

Ize

 

[the_bird]

That's absolutely priceless!

Cassie did her first smack-talk a couple days ago, I think it was unintentionally. "Daddy, you're a yuck!"

 

[Cheesefood]

That's absolutely priceless!

Cassie did her first smack-talk a couple days ago, I think it was unintentionally. "Daddy, you're a yuck!"

I can just hear it soon...

Cassie: "Wow! Look how much bigger his penis is than daddy's!"

 

[ill.literate]

FANTASTIC story!

I've always hated that part of being a parent... trying to protect my oldest from the kids in the neighborhood, especially one little girl who is his neighbor, and and is a little older.

She was especially horrible when she got teamed up with another little b!tch from across the street.

Finally I said to Jake, "I know you want to play with Joey, but she's not a nice person."

And as it turns out, he doesn't play with her much these days.

 

[user 4295]

If my son wanted a friend to stay over at my house I would make it perfectly clear to the kid's parents that I would not tolerate any bad behavior and they would have to be OK with me disciplining him, not physically though, hands off! If they had a problem with it then he wouldn't be staying over.

My red flags went up when I read that you had a child, who is not yours, naked in your house. I know that it was as innocent as can be, but in this day and age all it would take is that snot nosed kid to run back to his parents and say that he was touched inappropriately. That would be it, game over! You would have to prove you didn't do something. It's pretty difficult to prove a negative.

In the end though, I'm glad your kid's johnson is bigger! Sometimes when I get my 5 year old up in the night to go pee, I have to hold his body up in the air parallel to the floor because of "night wood", if you catch my drift.

 

[Walker]

I honestly wasn't thrilled with the idea of him bathing at my house, but it was at the request of his parents. The last time he stayed, we sent him home dirty and they didn't seem to like that very much.

Regardless, I won't have to worry about it in the future. I'm not going to allow him to stay over ever again.

That little s.o.b. wore out his welcome last night.

-walker

 

[Walker]

AWWWE-SOME!!!

Not even sort of looking forward to meeting the Milhouses that Miles brings home as his friends. We've got a long time to go on that. He's just starting to talk, so sass-back won't come for a few more years, right?

Depends on you definition of sass-back.

One of my daughter's first words was "NO!" (exclamation point and all)

She was 18 months old when that started.

 

[user 4295]

I think you are a wise man Walker-san, and a great father too! I have found, as a father, that a child's first words are almost always 'me' and 'no'!

I'm glad that the kid's parents wanted you to bath him. That certainly removes some liability from the equation, but I find it difficult for me to think that I would want my toddler son naked at my neighbors house for any reason.

 

[Fingers]

That's because 'NO' is a power word. You get a reaction from adults when you say it, even if you don't really mean it. They're just trying to interact with you and some element of control.

 

[98EXL]

awesome story, thanks for that on a Friday afternoon

 

[Alamo_Beer]

haha man that is awesome!

I agree with hb_99....If your kid hangs out with Andy later on in life just remind him "son...your johnson is bigger than his"

 

[Craig5_12]

Thanks for the laugh Walker! I copied this and sent it to my wife (hope you don't mind), my daugher is 10months and we're expecting another (boy we're hoping) in September..... I'll have to file this one away for future parenting advice...

 

[Cheesefood]

Depends on you definition of sass-back.

One of my daughter's first words was "NO!" (exclamation point and all)

She was 18 months old when that started.

He knows "No", but not in a sassy way. If we offer him something and he doesn't want it he'll say "No" and/or shake his head. If he's not feeling well or if we press the issue (like trying to get him to eat when he's teething) it's a louder "No!" but he doesn't do it disrespectfully. He'll also say it sometimes when I try to get him out of the tub, but it's a more pathetic "nooo..."

 

[ill.literate]

Depends on you definition of sass-back.

One of my daughter's first words was "NO!" (exclamation point and all)

She was 18 months old when that started.

Sam, one of the twins, doesn't say No... but rather says Mo! when he means no.

it's rather humorous

 

[razyrsharpe]

tell that story around his prom date in about 12 years.

 

[Walker]

tell that story around his prom date in about 12 years.

Andy's date or my son's?

:rockin:

 

[Baron von BeeGee]

Awesome. Man, how times have changed. Back when I was growing up it was pretty common knowledge that you could get spanked at your house, your friends' houses, school, and anywhere in between.

You should have taken your son to the bathtub and Andy to the gardenhose. That way you would comply his parents' wishes and you'd get a sense of satisfaction out of it.

 

[98EXL]

Andy's date or my son's?

:rockin:

if Andy is around still, both, it would be great, especially for the group in the limo, and the other parents if they aren't sticks in the mud

 

[Yuri_Rage]

Kids and motorcycles have a lot in common:

It's not my (future) kid I'm worried about...it's everyone else around him.

Just like, it's not my motorcycle skills I'm worried about...it's everyone else on the road.

 

[Jim Karr]

Don't you just hate how helpless you feel, when you can discipline your own, but some little beast is running around in your house and you can't slap him?

 

[EdWort]

I would have told him I would send his ass home if he didn't behave. Man, I'm glad those years are behind me, kinda.

 

[EvilTOJ]

In my house, it doesn't matter what the rules are at their home; if those any little ****es misbehave in our house, they get the same punishment as any other kid, no questions asked. Now, for an amusing story.....

Sam was probably about 2 years old. He learned how to say "dammit!" from somewhere (we have no idea where ) only he'd ball up his fists, and just like Eric Cartman, would bellow ".....dammit!" completely at random! This was hilarious and he wouldn't do it too often. That is, until we were at my mom's house. He walked up to Grandma, and with great authority, balled up his fists like he was creating diamonds, and bellowed... .....DAMMIT!! Then walked away. OMG I was so embarrassed! SWMBO was trying desperately not to laugh.