Would you live in a nursing home?

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Bernie Brewer

Grouchy Old Fart
Joined
Feb 2, 2006
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Location
Eldorado, WI
My company does a lot of work in a local nursing home. One of our electricians is there 3/4 of the time. Sometimes he needs help, and for the last week or so, I have been working there as well.
It's not the first time I've helped out there, and frankly the work is usually gravy work- easy stuff, but I digress.

I have seen enough in my time there to know that I NEVER, under any circumstances, want to be a resident at one of these places The residents are so incredibly lonely and sad, I feel awful for them. If I am ever faced with having to live there, well, I'm gonna find a shorter route to the ol' dirt nap.

What do you guys think?
 
This may be for the debate thread :D

I'm not concerned myself...I can't afford a nursing home and I'll probably be dead long before that needs to happen anyway.
 
Well as part of my training in ministry I did 10 weeks as a chaplain in a hospital in Kansas city that was also attached to a nursing home, so I spent an equal time in training on that side, and I know what you mean..

Both my parents had to go into nursing homes to recover from their falls, and my father was pretty much almost officially peramently committed to one but he died instead...they are not pleasant places by any means...but despite the horror stories we hear (especially what happened during Katrina) there are some amazing people who work in them as well....

People are saying that as the baby boomers get to that age, they are going to change drastically...because the babyboomers when they are residents won't stand for a lot of the same stuff they subjected THEIR parent to...We will see..

I figure I am probably going to be alone the rest of my life, and end up in one...Hopefully...well....
 
I hope not. A nice senior community maybe, but if I ever get to the point where I am a burden on someone, I hope that the death with dignity laws are in place. (Totally another debate, and I don't agree with them in all cases). On the same note, I hope that I raise my kids in a way that they won't mind having drooling, pooping Dad around for a few years before they off me.
 
Me, I saw grandma go nuts in one. I personally will torture my children for free. ;) At least I will have constant company, if they want it or not.:cool:
 
I was institutionalized for 30 days in an inpatient hospital, then another 9 months in another 'group home'

That short amount of time when I was young sucked ass, and was rather lonely. I couldnt imagine having to know that the last of my days would be spent in a place like that.

If they had the gumball machines filled with viagra, I *might* reconsider... But then again being surrounded by folk trying to keep me alive for the sole purpose of milking my insurance/life savings... **** that...

Honestly, as much as it saddens me for my daughter, I dont think I will live long enough for that to happen.
-Me
 
I say we pool our resources and open a Home for aging brewers (and I don't mean baseball). That way we all have something in common and something to do. That's what kills people is the feeling of no longer meaning anything to anyone, no sense of purpose.
Some "assisted living facilities" are okay. They have planned activities, housekeeping, 3 meals/day and people in your same situation. It's the gomer homes that are depressing.
 
I say we pool our resources and open a Home for aging brewers (and I don't mean baseball). That way we all have something in common and something to do. That's what kills people is the feeling of no longer meaning anything to anyone, no sense of purpose.
Some "assisted living facilities" are okay. They have planned activities, housekeeping, 3 meals/day and people in your same situation. It's the gomer homes that are depressing.

I was gonna suggest the same thing with Bernie...but why the hell not...why can't people set something up for themselves for if they get on in years..and it doesn't have to be some overpriced nursing home? What about group or communal living maybe in an apartment type cpmplex...and pooling our reources to hire our own staff...like if we needed nursing care we could hire it ourselves...even through temp agencies
 
The only thing thats gonna happen to me after age 60 is :
A front porch
A full glass of beer
A shotgun
A rocking chair.
A box of fine cigars
 
If the nurses look like Yooper, hells yeah. A touch of senility = free boob grabs.

But my luck I'd get paulthenurse instead, still be touch senile and just "think" I am grabbing a boob.
 
lol, as long as you "think" that it should be ok, tho

This is where I think we should go the soylent green route. I mean, we're wasting so much land and energy with burial and cremation, so why not provide, right?
 
No ****ing way. I've been a paramedic for 9 years and was an EMT for 8 years before that. I've been to more nursing homes than most of you've been to bars. Most are horribly understaffed, maybe ONE licensed nurse per facility. The rest are typically bottom-of-the-barrel LPNs (they don't pay well) who don't have a freaking clue and the neglect is worse at night when the administrator(s) isn't around.

Assisted living facilities are a little better typically, but not much.

If for some reason I'm ever nursing-home bound, just smother me with a pillow in my sleep. :cross:
 
There are a couple assisted living places around here, where people basically have a small apartment with communal areas, resident nurses who ensure meds are taken, care providers, etc. Not my idea of how to go, but my family has a history of dying quickly. Having my dogs around is much more important than a couple extra months of staring at the TV.
 
I've visited both high- and low-income retirement homes. My grandfather moved into one when he could no longer handle the day-to-day of dealing with my grandmother (chronic depression, anxiety, etc). She was placed in the full-care part of the facility, and he moved into a "cottage" AKA single-level apartment. The facility had a restaurant for meals, a work shop for woodworking/crafts, classes, field trips, etc. But the application fee just to get into this place was like $100,000 and the monthy costs were between $5-10,000. Granted, if you could no longer pay the monthly costs, you could stay until you died. My grandfather passed away in 2002 and my grandmother is still living there, "free" of charge.

But HWMO's grandmother went into a home for several months after she broke a hip (in Detroit), and it was an unpleasant place where you could tell a lot of the staff were probably overworked and by-and-large, seemingly indifferent to any emotional needs of the patients.

So, what I have learned is don't live in a home unless you're rich.
 
I plan to kick the bucket looooooooooooong before I'd have to go to a nursing home. It's probably going to be something completely avoidable and stupid that takes me out. But I hope that when Death comes, I'll take a few of you out with me. :)

Maybe I'll plug up the fermentor, ask a bunch of people over and say, "Look! Beer!" and then it blows up do to pressure and takes out half the room....

Mwahahahahahaha!

But, heck no, I'm not going to be in a nursing home!
 
My mom is 58 and disabled, she is in bad enough shape we are already thinking about this. Given the costs and how awful these places are, we are planning to go the home care route. Medicare will pick up the tab for an RN to handle those things the doc says are necessary, leaving us to pay out of pocket for somebody to assist with everything else (cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc). If it gets to be too much, I can always buy a house on a big lot and build a small apartment out back. She'll never agree to move in with us which is a good thing. :mug:
 
I'm not sure that I ever want to be in the position where living in a home is my only option, but my wife's grandparents (paternal) both passed away in a home not far from here. The facility is connected with the Church of the Brethren and maintains a Good Samaritan fund to pay for the costs of care when a resident's savings are depleted after Medicare pays what it can or if they are 'intentionally impoverished'. My in-laws have already indicated that they want to live in the cottages on the property and have made arrangements to do so when the time is right.
 
I dont think nursing homes are the problem. Its piss poor management of them that is. Management as we all know usually puts way to much unrealistic Bulls**t on the work staff who are usually under staffed to begin with. This causes the employee to becomed overwhelmed and because of too many demands that aren't realistic, the patients and their concerned families are then considered to be pains in the ass and therefore the worker becomes more and more callous to the HELP NURSE button thats flashing. I seen a documentary on public TV a few years back called "And Thou Shalt Honor". It addressed this very issue and was designed to be shown to hospital and nursing home employees and let me tell you, I was pretty choked up. My wife is a Nurse and she told me this should be shown to every hospital in the world. Very moving and it shows that that piece of sh*t that keeps nagging you is a real person with real feelings and has a real life. If you are in that line of work I'd highly reccomend watching it, you could in turn make your floor a haven instead of a hell hole.
 
No ****ing way. I've been a paramedic for 9 years and was an EMT for 8 years before that. I've been to more nursing homes than most of you've been to bars. Most are horribly understaffed, maybe ONE licensed nurse per facility. The rest are typically bottom-of-the-barrel LPNs (they don't pay well) who don't have a freaking clue and the neglect is worse at night when the administrator(s) isn't around.

Assisted living facilities are a little better typically, but not much.

If for some reason I'm ever nursing-home bound, just smother me with a pillow in my sleep. :cross:

medic for 15 years and you are right. It is sad to go in, see a new patient and over six months, watch that patient rot.
 
My plan is to pack my pockets full of bacon and go pet grizzly bears.

Actually my plan is similar. After watching "Legends of the fall" I plan on going bear hunting with only a knife when I get too old to control my bodily functions. I just need to get an all-terrain rascal to do so!

I decided this after my wife said she wouldn't shoot me when I got to that point even though I asked her nicely... So bear hunting it is!
 
Great topic. Certainly gets the old brain moving. My answer: I hope not.

The thing is, if you get to a point where you are not dead, and need constant care, what are your realistic options? You can have someone come to your house on a regular basis and take care of you. This would probably be ideal for most, but it is certainly not affordable for all. Plus, you would probably have a husband/wife there and that could be very tough for them. You could have a family member stay with you, but it is typically more than a typical family member can handle, and think of the family member. I felt horrible for the 6 weeks I was useless when I broke my leg and my wife had to do stuff for me. I hate feeling like a burden. I could never do that to a family member.

There is always suicide. Of course this is a real hard thing to even think about. Would you off yourself to save your family money and heartache? Also, you would have to be mentally cognizant enough just to even do it.

Of course, you can go the bear hunting with bacon in the pocket route, but this is obviously not realistic.

The only other option I can think of is a nursing home. Horrible as it may be, it may be the only realistic, affordable option for your family. I hate nursing homes. I have been lucky in my life and I have only lost a great grandma, a grandfather and an uncle since I have been alive. Both my great grandmother and my grandfather lived and died in nursing homes. It was horrible. And they lived in good homes. They were never abused or anything like that, and the people who took care of them really seemed to care for them. However, it is just that lifestyle. To have to hang on to life by a thread just to be alive. Not really living at all. Ugh.

So, like I said, I hope not. I hope I live a long, healthy life, get to see my kids grow up and get to see my grandkids become adults and then one day just go out. A heart attack, organ failure, whatever. Just one day be fine, the next day it is all over. Unexpected deaths are typically harder than "expected" deaths, but at least that way I would not drag my family through the mud on my way out.

Very interesting topic. Hard to think about, but I find it very interesting.
 
I delivered drugs to nursing homes in the Phx area for a couple years and I saw it all....I remember about 3 weeks into the job I told my parents there was no way in hell I was going to put them through that. A bunch of old farts stuck to their wheel chairs all gathered around a 13" TV watching Price Is Right.

I remember one lady who was getting pretty senile would always shout: "HEY!" at me when I came through the elevator. My last day on the job, when I was leaving, right before the elevator door closed I said "HEY!" back to her.

Don't worry Revvy - I'm sure some of us will stop by now and then with a homebrew and ask you: "my airlock didn't bubble, is my beer okay?"
 
My wife's grandpa is in an assisted living home. He's on his way out though. His kidneys are failing and he has a few days to live, maybe a week or so.

Anyway, the place seems very nice. We were there all morning and the residents didnt' appear to be in bad shape. Her grandpa had gotten dementia a few years ago and needed help remembering his meds and whatnot. Over the past few years he has gotten worse. I don't imagine he would have needed to stay there if his mind was right. I think the only thing that kept him sane was his dementia. I certainly could not stand the thought that I was pushed off to the side like that, even though I know that his kids did the best they could and his daughter-in-law went there OFTEN to visit, even when he didn't recognize her any more.

Anyway, this place had separate rooms for each person, like a nice hospital, and a communal eating area. with plush chairs and radio. Each room had a TV, living room, bathroom etc.

The caretakers seemed pretty nice.

When I was VERY young, I went to see my great grandmother in a home. One of the ladies there peed her pants and the attendees at the table (it was meal time) screamed at her. I think that shock carried with me more than the fact that a grown person had peed their pants. I couldn't believe that a grown up would scream at another grown up just for peeing their pants. Of course the whole place smelled like pee I remember, so this was probably not an isolated incident.

I think it depends on exactly where one ends up being cared for. I know my wife's uncle spent considerable time looking for a good place near enough that they could stop by and visit and make sure his dad was being cared for properly.

On the day we visisted, her grandpa slept the whole time. He snored like a mower with the muffler torn off, just like when he was younger. The hospice nurse said that the night before he could remember his wife and where he used to work and that hadn't happened for like 2 years. You just never know what is going to trigger the memories.
 
i just want to go somewhere to practice my perverted skills .... but having an assisted brewing home might be the way to go. Who's gonna lift 5 gal of wort otherwise? Grandchildren I suppose?
 
Some of us aren't as long in the tooth as you are Bernie, so we don't think about it. :D :D

Seriously though, I hope to avoid it at all costs. I have 4 daughters, I'm guessing that all 4 of them won't be able to turn me down in 35 years if it comes to that.
 
I read an article about a 2-3 year study where senior citizens (Including several who had dementia.) were teaching kids to read. The scientist found that it was beneficial to both the kids and the seniors.

I think what causes people to eventually lose it in old age is the feeling that they no longer have a purpose.

This is extremely unfortunate and untrue. We should make use of the older people in our population. There is a lot of wealth of information there that can be benefit to others.

I hope to teach kids math for free when I retire.
 
I think what causes people to eventually lose it in old age is the feeling that they no longer have a purpose.

Well, obviously people are going to lose it regardless eventually. No matter how useful they may or may not be. I do see your point though. Lack of motivation could be the first step in a downward spiral.

I hope to teach kids math for free when I retire.

That is an awesome idea and I hope you do that.

One thing that is interesting is the rate that dimensia has increased in recent years (say the last 75 or so) and how civilized nations have much higher rates of dimensia than less civilized nations. One book I read made a pretty good case that ground red meat could be the culprit. Sounds crazy I know, and realistically it probably is crazy, but the book did use a lot of facts and made a pretty good case for itself.
 
I hope to teach kids math for free when I retire.

Singing "99 bottles of......" isn't really an acceptible practice.

While it does grab the childrens attention and give real world examples of subtraction, the whole "...pass it around..." bit of the learning experience tends to be frowned upon by the courts when we are "teaching" minors.
 
One book I read made a pretty good case that ground red meat could be the culprit. Sounds crazy I know, and realistically it probably is crazy, but the book did use a lot of facts and made a pretty good case for itself.
Interesting. So maybe it is good that I drink and I married a vegetarian. I only have red meat once a month and other meat related stuff maybe once or twice a week. Man a burger tastes so good when I have one. :ban:
 
Phatty!!!! I eat seafood practically everyday, drink water like it is my job... and beer also. Plus I am back on the workout kick. That part is kicking my ass...but in a good way
 
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