Worst "pick-up" failure so far (rant)

[superfluent]

So, I've been single for over a year now and as most singles I too do a fair bit of hitting on the opposite sex when I'm out enjoying myself in various bars and clubs (or pretty much everywhere, actually...).

Anyway, this friday I went out with a friend that is more of a wine-drinker than a beer drinker and since the beer was crap (but the women mesmorizing) at the bar he had selected I too took the wine path (more on that later).

Now, we soon find ourselves in a conversation with two girls and I realize that one of them is pretty into me (but I wasn't really into her). Anyway, it ends in us exchanging phone-numbers and then we excuse ourselves to join a group of girls my friend knows.

Having joined the 4 girls my friend had set us up with I soon find myself in a conversation with an exceptionally interesting girl. She's absolute top notch, super sharp and we get along quite nicely, zipping wine and talking about just about everything.

Now, things are running smootly and I'm just about to suggest we set something up for the next day (which I am certain she would have liked). Just when I'm about to open my mouth the girl I had hit on earlier suddenly joins the table opposite to me... F**K -it just so happens that she is also part of the group!

I really try to keep cool here but my wine-zipping increases with the steadilly increasing death-ray eyballing i get from opposite the table...

Just to try to disarm the situation I try to bring the death-ray-eyeballing-girl into the conversation too so I ask the how they know eachoter.

"We're sisters."

"Ah, heh...interesting...interesting..." I manage to say before I empty the wineglass and poor me another glass of liquid currage. Now, the wine is really starting to get to me, I'm simply not calibrated for wine so I feel I'm on the virge of going from a "fun and interesting guy" to "some drunk dude".

Never having been in this situation before I just thing "f**k it" take Ms death-ray to the side and explain to her that while she's absolutely lovely, Ms Beautiful and I have a lot more in common and the thought of dating both sisters is just...wrong. She says she understand and that she's cool with me dating her sister. Saved!

So I now turn my attention back to Ms Beautiful that immediatly makes it absolutely clear to me that *drumroll* she did not at all like that I talked to her sister in private...

After having restored the trust (and emptied another glass of wine) we're back to a high having serious fun again when out of the blue Ms death-ray grabs her sisters arm and says to me (in a not so plesent voice):

"She needs to go to the bathroom with me. NOW!"

Obviously she wasn't so cool about it afterall.I'm now by myself facing 3 girls that look at me like I had this planned from the start just to be mean to their friend. By now I'm getting so drunk I can't think clearly anymore. The smart thing would have been to just excuse myself and leave for home but after having gone through all this I wasn't going to leave until I had Ms Beautifuls number so I poor myself some wine to ease the burning sensation in my face from her friends...

Of course it took forever before Ms Beautiful comes back to the table (Ms Death-ray had supposedly left the bar in anger, according to my friend) so by the time she sits down next to me I am absolutely ****faced drunk. I actually try to keep up some sort of communication for a while before realizing she's leaving.

So, at the end of the night I had pissed of 1 girl royally, pissed of her 4 friends, made a complete fool out of myself beeing so drunk I even think I must have had some blackouts the last hour or so, and presended myself as a guy that can't handle the booze to the most interesting girl I think I've ever met in my life.

How's that for a friday night!

H

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

If you are aged between 16 and 25 I would say that was a normal night out. If you are any older, then you should know better.


Edit: Your profile says you are 36. You need counseling.

 

[Yuri_Rage]

Call the number. You really have nothing to lose.

 

[arturo7]

There is absolutely no good way to navigate a sister situation.

 

[superfluent]

If you are aged between 16 and 25 I would say that was a normal night out. If you are any older, then you should know better.

Edit: Your profile says you are 36. You need counseling.

But you got to admit I was delt a pretty bad hand, here? What are the odds of something like that happening? Usually I run a pretty tight ship but this time I was totally obliterated by the circumstances. Ah, well...

H

 

[superfluent]

There is absolutely no good way to navigate a sister situation.

Understatement of the week. But, I've convinced myself it aint over just yet. I've arranged with my friend to get her number so I can call her up. Anyways, I owe her an appolgy for ruening her night out with the girls...

H

 

[superfluent]

Call the number. You really have nothing to lose.

Problem is that I don't have the number to the gorgious one, and I don't think it's a good idea to call her little sister to get the number I want. I've, however put my friend to the task of obtaining her nuber.

H

 

[Parker36]

Call both, apologize separately. Don't try to take it any further than that. Then arrange to "accidentally" meet them (or at least the good one) out some other time and have a laugh about it.

 

[Sanveann]

Problem is that I don't have the number to the gorgious one, and I don't think it's a good idea to call her little sister to get the number I want.

No. No, it is most definitely NOT a good idea to do that!

Honestly, from a female perspective ... I'd forget the whole thing unless you're REALLY into Ms. Beautiful. Because you definitely are going to have an uphill battle!

 

[superfluent]

No. No, it is most definitely NOT a good idea to do that!

Well, I kind of had that one allready figured out .

Honestly, from a female perspective ... I'd forget the whole thing unless you're REALLY into Ms. Beautiful. Because you definitely are going to have an uphill battle!

I don't beleave the sister situation is much of a problem -it's not that I am married to one and messing around with the other or such -I've just chatted with one of them and we exchanged numbers, which is pretty innocent.

I actually beleave that if I get a chanse to explain my seemingly looser behaviour to the beautiful one, she might just laugh with me and the situation, after all, it is actually quite fun.

Anyways, it was just an experience that was so messed up that I had to share it.

H

 

[MikeFlynn74]

**** them both(in the best kind of way). They are just playing hard to get

 

[ChshreCat]

**** them both(in the best kind of way). They are just playing hard to get

At the same time, if it can be arranged.

 

[Sanveann]

I don't beleave the sister situation is much of a problem -it's not that I am married to one and messing around with the other or such -I've just chatted with one of them and we exchanged numbers, which is pretty innocent.

Well, I may be a bit more protective of my sister than is usual, since she's 10 years younger than me (and way too gorgeous for her own good) ... but if a guy tried to pick up both of us in the same night, I'd be using his balls for a keychain. Well, if she REALLY liked him, I might be more forgiving ... but it definitely wouldn't give me a good first impression of the guy, and that's a bad foot for someone to start out on.

It is a funny story, though

 

[kappclark]

Very Funny ! I can see the Death-Ray look right now ...I don't think I cld top that one !

 

[GregR]

sucks that made an @ss out of yourself. from your story, I think you'd be best off just putting this one in L column and move on. I really don't think there is any salvaging this situation.you hit on and got the number of one girl and then hit on her sister, then told the girl who's number you already got, "sorry, but I'd rather hit on your hotter, more interesting, sister." and then got oblitersmashed. just move on, nothing to see there anymore.

 

[hostileNabusive]

Never having been in this situation before I just thing "f**k it"

It was at this point I was expecting the "menage a trois" suggestion to rear it's head.

 

[Bedlam]

sucks that made an @ss out of yourself. from your story, I think you'd be best off just putting this one in L column and move on. I really don't think there is any salvaging this situation.you hit on and got the number of one girl and then hit on her sister, then told the girl who's number you already got, "sorry, but I'd rather hit on your hotter, more interesting, sister." and then got oblitersmashed. just move on, nothing to see there anymore.

Plus one! That's it in a nutshell. You're fooked. Learn to laugh at the situation, 'cause let's face it, you've got an awesome story out of it!

The only other thing is if you accidentally run into either one of them again in the future, WHILE SOBER, apologize profusely and tell them in no uncertain terms what an ass you were that night. Make no excuses and laugh at your own behavior. We chicks dig that.

 

[MeatyPortion]

When I was single I would go out, get hammered and then act accordingly. I remember pissing off many women, not all of the time of course, but if I got a certain "drunk" going then I would get in complete f*ck everybody mode (not sexually in this case), meaning that everybody should back away slowly and try not to talk to me. My friends would usually ditch me at this point, or stay and watch in nervous bemusement. It can be somewhat liberating though to go out and not be moved by anything a girl says to you. Try it sometime, it's fun.

 

[the bunnay]

Never having been in this situation before I just thing "f**k it" take Ms death-ray to the side and explain to her that while she's absolutely lovely, Ms Beautiful and I have a lot more in common and the thought of dating both sisters is just...wrong. She says she understand and that she's cool with me dating her sister. Saved!

Actually, this was your mistake. You just met both of these gals, it's not like you owed them anything. If you weren't that into the first sister, I'm guessing the number exchange wasn't even that enthusiastic. People exchange numbers for all sorts of friendly reasons it doesn't mean you are trying to bed them both. Pulling the first sister aside and spelling all that out probably A. made the situation seem way more sketchy than it was and B. embarrassed the first sister which usually doesn't bode well in family dynamics. Pursue it if you feel you must, but I agree that you are looking at an uphill battle here.

 

[superfluent]

... but if a guy tried to pick up both of us in the same night, I'd be using his balls for a keychain.

*mental note: do not hit on girls named Sanveann*

H

 

[Homercidal]

He's single. Of course he's trying to bed them both! (Actually, I dont' know what being single has to do with that... He's a MAN, that's all you need to remember.)

Seriously, What are you worried about? Just be honest and tell them you had a bit too much to drink and see what happens. There's two girls, One Guy. Usually one of those girls is going to be left standing. I don't think you are giving them enough credit for common sense.

The WORST thing you could do is to try and give some lame excuses. Let them know you are interested in getting to know them both better. You can't hardly be expected to make an informed decision based on one evening chatting at a bar. At that stage, everyone is still trying to figure out the others' angle, and see what they are looking for.

You could pull a Seinfeld, where you tell the one girl you are into her sister. She will get mad and give you up, and her sister will be flattered and want to go out with you! (Actually should be called the Costanza!)

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

If you had a genuine interest in the girl, then you are letting yourself down by not pursuing her. I assume she is single. If a single person is so dense as to not understand that single men like talking to single women and actually talk to multiple single women *gasp* in one night, then she is not worth her salt. Sorry, but that is just silly logic.

Get her number, call her, explain yourself in self-deprecating terms, make it funny, then ask to meet her out in a non-formal venue again. Go out with some friends, AND DO NOT GET SMASHED OR EVEN CLOSE. No matter what you think, as soon as you start feeling buzzed she will start thinking you are an idiot. It may be more fun for you, but will not end well on the lady front.

Anyway, I think you should chase after her because if you don't you will always wonder.

 

[broadbill]

Actually, this was your mistake. You just met both of these gals, it's not like you owed them anything. If you weren't that into the first sister, I'm guessing the number exchange wasn't even that enthusiastic. People exchange numbers for all sorts of friendly reasons it doesn't mean you are trying to bed them both. Pulling the first sister aside and spelling all that out probably A. made the situation seem way more sketchy than it was and B. embarrassed the first sister which usually doesn't bode well in family dynamics. Pursue it if you feel you must, but I agree that you are looking at an uphill battle here.

+1 to this...you showed your hand (telling the one sister you liked the other sister and not her) when instead you should have kept your cards closer to the vest and be more patient to see how the night was going to play itself out.

Yup, put this on in the L column and move on!

 

[superfluent]

Seriously, What are you worried about? Just be honest and tell them you had a bit too much to drink and see what happens. There's two girls, One Guy. Usually one of those girls is going to be left standing. I don't think you are giving them enough credit for common sense.

Well, it's primarilly the "getting to drunk" part that bugs me, because that is something I should be able to control myself. Getting s**tfaced is just so offputting and lame it buggs the hell out of me.

Anyways, getting shot down by women you approach is just part of the game and something one gets used to once you've decided to start dating again. It's part of their selection process, I guess.

H

 

[superfluent]

+1 to this...you showed your hand (telling the one sister you liked the other sister and not her) when instead you should have kept your cards closer to the vest and be more patient to see how the night was going to play itself out.

Yup, put this on in the L column and move on!

I do not fully agree. In my experience, if you don't have the girlfriends on your side (that you got their approval to hit on their friend) they will pull her away from you at one time or another in a "rescue mission" and convince her you're crap. In fact, sometimes I ask the friends if it's OK with them to take their friend to the side to get to know her better. The same logic apply here -the sister was pretty much like a seriously pissed off girlfriend that was getting ready to shoot me down.

What I probably should have done was to *first* talk to the lovely one that her sister seems to have taken an interest in me during a conversation earlier in the eavning and I would like a minute to straighten things out to not hurt her feelings (or something like that). After all, I wasn't really interested in anyways.

H

 

[BADS197]

So, at the end of the night I had pissed of 1 girl royally, pissed of her 4 friends, made a complete fool out of myself beeing so drunk I even think I must have had some blackouts the last hour or so, and presended myself as a guy that can't handle the booze to the most interesting girl I think I've ever met in my life.

How's that for a friday night!

H

Sounds like a good night!!!!

 

[ohiobrewtus]

Stories like this make me glad that I'm not single!

 

[Homercidal]

Well, it's primarilly the "getting to drunk" part that bugs me, because that is something I should be able to control myself. Getting s**tfaced is just so offputting and lame it buggs the hell out of me.

Anyways, getting shot down by women you approach is just part of the game and something one gets used to once you've decided to start dating again. It's part of their selection process, I guess.

H

I have the advantage of not knowing anything about dating. I've been happily married for 17 years and never went out to find chicks. I just get to watch it all from the sidelines.

As far as being drunk, well, it happens and they should be able to understand that. Of course they may be concerned about whether this is a common occurrence, or just a stupid mistake. Hopefully you will have the chance to convince them it was just a mistake.

It could be the the first sister was pleased by your request for a number, and when she found you chatting up her sister, she got upset at her own loss and is handling it poorly. Meaning, of course, that she is less interested in her sister's well being, and more interested in the sour grapes aspect. not great either way.

But, I still think honesty is the best policy here. Just let them know you were interested in knowing more about them.

If this is just about hooking up for a couple of nights, then that is one thing. If it's a potential relationship, then be friendly, be honest, and good things will happen.

Maybe I'm naive, but just giving out a phone number doesn't give exclusivity to anyone...

 

[Sanveann]

*mental note: do not hit on girls named Sanveann*

H

Well, my real name is Alexis ... but don't worry -- I'm off the market, so your testicles are safe ... at least from me

 

[superfluent]

I have the advantage of not knowing anything about dating. I've been happily married for 17 years and never went out to find chicks. I just get to watch it all from the sidelines...

Well, my lasted for 13 years, so I know exactly what you are talking about.

It was pretty hard to start dating again when you've spent the last 13 years doing your best not to flirt with women out of respect of your partner.

I actually had to basically reprogram myself not to feel guilty when I realised girls started to take interest in me. First attempts where horrible experiences, but since I'm a pretty social guy I've grown into it quite quickly so now it's fun and exciting.

H

 

[superfluent]

Well, my real name is Alexis ... but don't worry -- I'm off the market, so your testicles are safe ... at least from me

Phew, you got me worried there for a moment .

No, but I understand what you say. While I look at it as a playfull game, I never forget it's human beeings I'm interacting with.

In fact, that's my advice to all singles: Drop the cheesy pick-up lines, muster up the currage and just go in there, chit chat and be genuinely interested in figuring out whom you're actually talking to, listen to what they say and go from there, rather than trying to qualify yourself, and the attraction will start to build.

H

 

[Mutilated1]

There is absolutely no good way to navigate a sister situation.

?? what

man this forum is full of bad advice

should have banged 'em both, preferably at the same time

how is that not a good way to navigate a sister situation ?

 

[McKBrew]

Henrik.

You are in Sweden for crying out loud. We all know that every girl in Sweden is between 5'9" and 6'1" and all are gorgeous with blond hair and blue eyes. Just go find another one.

 

[wildwest450]

Henrik.

You are in Sweden for crying out loud. We all know that every girl in Sweden is between 5'9" and 6'1" and all are gorgeous with blond hair and blue eyes. Just go find another one.

+100, it's like living in Germany and complaining there's no good beer to drink.

 

[superfluent]

Henrik.

You are in Sweden for crying out loud. We all know that every girl in Sweden is between 5'9" and 6'1" and all are gorgeous with blond hair and blue eyes. Just go find another one.

Well, I can't really argue with that. While not all beeing blond, blue-eyed and 6' tall, there are a lot of exceptionally beautyful people in Sweden, no doubt about it. When I moved back to Sweden after a year in Boston I was just mindboggled by all beautiful women I saw in Stockholm.

To add to it my best friend (my winedrinking buddy) have *exceptionally* good connections so I often tag along to some of the most exclusice and hip bars and clubs in Stockholm where the *insanely* good looking women pretty much are stacked from floor to cieling. However, while beauty is attractive...after having been single for over a year going to these clubs regularly I can honnestly say that I put integrity and intelligence above beauty. A hot, stupid chick is just hot until you start talking to her. Hello? Anybody home? But...there are some hot, intelligent chicks out there to, it's just a matter of finding them...

H

 

[superfluent]

This is a sample from an "average" Stockholm club (true). According to my friend I sat next to the girl in the middle on his house warming party a year ago but I was to petrified to even concider looking her way so I can't say for sure. Good thing I'm a bit more confident nowadays...

[link to image of hot babes here...]

H

 

[Hang Glider]

Wow - I think your friend needs to "re-introduce" you and her!

 

[AJ_in_HD]

funny story!

My take is you should have just played it off with the group and poked fun at yourself to diffuse the situation. Who knows...as the night wore on you might have been able to nab the sister's number.

Taking a potentially bad situation and making light has saved my hide a few times in bars and having enough sense to keep them engaged and laughing will more often than not work in your favor in the long run.

cheers and have fun out there.

 

[superfluent]

Wow - I think your friend needs to "re-introduce" you and her!

Well, what can I say. But still, is she smart?

H

 

[superfluent]

funny story!

My take is you should have just played it off with the group and poked fun at yourself to diffuse the situation. Who knows...as the night wore on you might have been able to nab the sister's number.

Taking a potentially bad situation and making light has saved my hide a few times in bars and having enough sense to keep them engaged and laughing will more often than not work in your favor in the long run.

cheers and have fun out there.

I agree. It's just that insane amounts of cheap white wine will cloud your judgement... As long as you can keep the whole company happy you're good, I agree. I was just drunk and pathetic, and that I regret.

What buggs me is that she was so friggin cool and we where so in tune before I flipped out. I'm in the process of getting her nuber so I can just call her up and apollogise for ruening her night out. The easy way out would be to just chalk it up as another tick in the L clumn, but I just feel like pushing the limits to see what happens. In my mind, it can't get any worse, only better, so what can I loose except for a couple hours and a few phonecalls. After all I owe her an apollogy.

H