Why you suck

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

1. Your eyes are too close together. And you, my friend, are almost a frigging cyclopse!

2. You have a unibrow. That is like a unicycle in the sense that clowns like to ride you

3. You think that chinese water torture is the waiter in the chinese restaurant saying "What you mean? You don't want the Bud? I gonna make you drink the bud!"

4. You think you are too cool to wear socks

5. You think that slight chubby you are sporting in the morning after the erection has gone down is the "real" you. Get over it. We all have that, and it fools nobody

6. Hanging out with that nerdy friend to make yourself look good? Just ask yourself why he is hanging out with YOU!

7. Nobody really wants to see your penis. That is why you hide it away in a van outside the high school.

8. You actually think that knowing the square root of 27 to within 5 decimal places will get you laid.

H. You think that beer goggles are modern technology, like x-ray specs.

10. You can't count to ten without including letters.

10a. You get drunk and make up crap to post on HBT

 

[tireater]

....because you actually do suck....

 

[celestialparsnip]

My god. How could he have gotten so much right?

I need to start wearing my foil helmet. Gnome is burrowing his way into my innermost places.

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

My god. How could he have gotten so much right?

I need to start wearing my foil helmet. Gnome is burrowing his way into my innermost places.

Don't worry, his burrowing rod is.. well.... he's a gnome for ****s sake!

 

[celestialparsnip]

As long as he doesn't set up shop in there. I don't need my private areas reeking with the smell of hops and cheap cigars.