What not to say on a first date!

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GregR

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d*nm it! I have a rash. . .

so I saw this show in T.J. over the weekend. . .

nice shoes, wanna ****?

[Ralph Wiggum]The doctor said my nose would stop bleeding if I could just keep my finger out of it[/ralph]

. . .and that was the second time I got crabs.
 

Bedlam

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Oh, how cute! It looks just like a penis, only smaller...

(Make sure to say while giggling.)
 

EvilTOJ

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"Good lord you have a huge poosy. Good lord you have a huge poosy"

"You didn't have to say it twice"

"I didn't."
 

schneemann

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I would do things to you that are illegal in most states




















































LIKE CUT YOU INTO PIECES AND WEAR YOUR FLESH LIKE IT WAS A SPORT COAT!
 

Fingers

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"Do you put out on the first date? It would be good to know before I spend all this money...."
 

Yooper

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True one that happened on a first (and only) date:

"Are you going to finish that? I'll eat it if you don't want the rest of it".

Um, no. Go right ahead. Here, have my wine, too.
 

Yooper

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:mug: Thanks Fingers!


More true ones-

"I forgot to mention that I'm a Jehovah's Witness. Can we talk about the hereafter? Do you know the only true way to paradise on earth?"

"You're hot. Do you do threesomes?"

(Those were NOT from the same guy, of course!)

"Pull my finger!"
 

Bedlam

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True one that happened on a first (and only) date:

"Are you going to finish that? I'll eat it if you don't want the rest of it".

Um, no. Go right ahead. Here, have my wine, too.
Well, Yoop, if he couldn't take your "manly" table manners, then no way he'd have lasted much longer than the third date anyway. I call that an efficient weeding-out system.

:p
 

stevea1210

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So what time is recess?

My parole officer said I shouldn't be around women for awhile.

With an adams apple like that, are you SURE you aren't a man?

Are you familiar with the term Cleavland steamer?
 

ThebrewdawG

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What ever you do, never ever ever ever call her "Homegirl" ! I made this mistake and will never ever ever and I mean never ever ever and never again put my self in that place again!!!! Very bad memorys from 20 + years back .:fro:
 

Arneba28

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"You want to come in? Just be quiet, my mom's asleep."
I had one close to this, except she said it to me. "you want to come in? Just be quite my grandma is upstairs and my kids are in the other room"

No lie, while I was walking through her basement to her room I tripped and broke a case of mason jars lol.
 

Arneba28

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I had a friend that while on a first date with a guy she met at a bar the night before

he says "are you a tranny, im really into that"

She is not a tranny but just has very manly facial features.
 

Schlenkerla

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Your nose is pretty big, you must pick it a lot. You know that's really a bad habit.

Damn you are fat!!! I bet when you haul ass you gotta make two trips.

Oh yah, insult me all you want, I been told worse by better looking women.
 
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