What about the vampire hordes???

[Decojuicer]

There's lot's of talk about the zombipocalypse around here, but I don't think that people are giving enough thought to vampires.

What if the vampires rise BEFORE the zombies?? Will you be prepared??

Here's my thought on it. I'll get Revvy over here with his book of magic spells and have him bless all of the water that I brew with. Then, for my special vampire repellent beer, I'll dry hop each keg with a few cloves of garlic. If I drink a few of these a day, I should be able to walk right into a vampire nest at midnight and they won't be able to touch me. Also, my pee will destroy them.

Of course, if you listen to my wife, I will be safe anyway. She says that I am so evil that if a vampire bites me, they will turn into me. That being said, she has encouraged me to try to get turned. She thinks that I would be the king of the vampires in a week or 2. Then we would be all set.

 

[Fingers]

www.crackpipetalk.com is a completely different site.

 

[adrock]

Good point! I believe it is much more likely that vampires will rise first. It is a fact (though little known) that vampires are the ones that will raise the zombies from the dead. They are rather familiar with necromancy, after all.

This has got me thinking: Why all this discussion about zombies? All we have to do is kill the head vampire, and all the underlings will die, vampire and zombie alike. I saw it in Lost Boys.

 

[IowaHarry]

That garlic hopped brew should be pretty good nookie repelant as well. I can just see the little wifey giving me the bride of frankenstein hiss.

In fact she did it last night . Just like most every night.

 

[Decojuicer]

That garlic hopped brew should be pretty good nookie repelant as well. I can just see the little wifey giving me the bride of frankenstein hiss.

In fact she did it last night . Just like most every night.

Have you tried Roofie flavored beer??? Just a thought.

 

[Decojuicer]

Good point! I believe it is much more likely that vampires will rise first. It is a fact (though little known) that vampires are the ones that will raise the zombies from the dead. They are rather familiar with necromancy, after all.

This has got me thinking: Why all this discussion about zombies? All we have to do is kill the head vampire, and all the underlings will die, vampire and zombie alike. I saw it in Lost Boys.

Yeah, but look what it took to get to the head vampire. Also, that only works if they haven't fed yet. Once they feed, they are full blooded(pun intended) vampires.

 

[arturo7]

C'mon, vampire hordes? Everybody knows vampires aren't real.

Don't waste you time and resources on this. Your focus should be on repelling zombies.

 

[Revvy]

Well I told you if the vamps turn out to be real then I'm already covered...

I'll help you with vamps, if you help me with zombies...don't forget as a minister, if they just touch my Holy a$$ed self they burst into flames...plus I can consecrate GALLONS of Holy water, all we need is a firetruck and my spell book...er I mean my minister's manual and we'd be all set.

Trouble is...if they look like this...I'm doomed...especially if they have redhair...Redheaded Vampire Wimmin R hawt!!!!

 

[Decojuicer]

It bothers me that you had such quick access to that picture. I am crying on the inside.

 

[Revvy]

It bothers me that you had such quick access to that picture. I am crying on the inside.

I just googled Sexy redheaded vampires and it came up.

Did you know...

Montague Summers, in his translation of the Malleus Maleficarum, notes that red hair and green eyes were thought to be the sign of a witch, a werewolf or a vampire during the Middle Ages;

“ Those whose hair is red, of a certain peculiar shade, are unmistakably vampires. It is significant that in ancient Egypt, as Manetho tells us, human sacrifices were offered at the grave of Osiris, and the victims were red-haired men who were burned, their ashes being scattered far and wide by winnowing-fans. It is held by some authorities that this was done to fertilize the fields and produce a bounteous harvest, red-hair symbolizing the golden wealth of the corn. But these men were called Typhonians, and were representatives not of Osiris but of his evil rival Typhon, whose hair was red.

 

[Decojuicer]

I just googled Sexy redheaded vampires and it came up.

Sure you did...

 

[Borisbbadd]

If they all look like Revvy's red headed vampire, I think we are all doomed !!!

 

[Madman]

hmm, as a lad< I used to go to goth clubs in Philly, and drink the night away lusting after hot, scantily-clad vampire chicks.

In the event of a Vampire Apocalypse, I welcome our new vampire overlords!

 

[BrewinJack]

Vampires are push overs... you can scare them, you can beat them, you can fight them in the normal human ways... now zombies... they are the hard ones to beat... they dont know how to stop, they dont know how to be scared, or how to run away... Vampiers can "live" to fight another day... Zombies are already dead and the only thing they ever want is brains... its actully benifical for vampires to keep most of us alive... vampire chicks prefer living males because if i remember correctly from my research vampire males dont quite work the same below the belt after they become undead... But in return they get a few more tricks to get women... So Revy may get his wish, and she may chose to keep him around to.... well... keep him around. But also Vampires are rather solitary creatures... normally "living" in small groups of no more then half a dozen... normally one female and sevral males... or vice versa... i was a geek when i was a kid... i read alot on vampires... i was never a goth... but i prefered to cort the goth chicks because they were smarter then the cheerleaders or the air heads.

Cheers

 

[Bernie Brewer]

WARNING: RANT AHEAD!


I'm so damned sick of all this vampire **** out there.... When I was a kid there was just Bella Lugosi and Stephen King, and the rules were clear as crystal. You made sure you had a crucifix, some holy water and some garlic and a hammer and some stakes and you were good to go.And you did your vampire hunting during the day because sunlight would kill them. Now Anne Rice and all these other vampire authors are making up new rules as they go. Vampires come out at any time. There's good vampires and bad vampires (good vampires? You gotta be kidding me) and vampires dating normal people and NOT biting them and Buffy taking one down with just a couple roundhouse kicks and......what a joke, man!

 

[Decojuicer]

Buffy never took one down with a round house kick. She always used a stake...and was super hot while doing it.

 

[TerapinChef]

How about angie everhardt in Bordello of Blood?

 

[imaguitargod]

Vampires are easy. Just don't invite them in. Zombies are harder, they'll come in no matter what.

 

[IowaHarry]

Have you tried Roofie flavored beer??? Just a thought.

I'm the one drinking the beer. Do I have to do this to get her to take advantage of me? I wonder if that would work.

I prefer vampires if they look like Salma Hayak.