Ugh friends w/kids (sorry long rant)

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ohiobrewtus

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cheezydemon said:
Wow this thread is long!

There are 2 kinds of people. Those who have kids, and those who don't understand.

I think that there's 3 kinds. Those who have 2 kids or less, those who have 3 or more, and those who don't understand.

Parenting takes on a whole new meaning when you have 4 kids. It was much less of a PITA with just 2. :D
 

cheezydemon

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Bobby_M said:
People with kids do a lot of stupid things, especially when they weren't mentally prepared to deal with the added responsibility. Of course, people without kids do stupid things too but that isn't the issue. The cool thing about friend relationships is that you're not required to keep them. If they are a pain in the ass, walk away.

With all due respect, NO ONE is ever prepared for the added responsibility. Granted, there are those poor souls who should not be allowed to reproduce, but beyond that It is impossible to fully grasp how your life will change.

KIDS BECOME THE PRIORITY. KIDS FILL IN THE HOLE IN YOUR LIFE THAT MADE IT NECESSARY TO WASTE TIME AT BW3's.

NO OFFENSE! I DID NOT UNDERSTAND UNTIL I HAD KIDS!

My best friend in life is now pregnant..(or at least his wife is) I talk to him on the phone, but other than an occasional luch, I have seen him maybe once a year over the last four years. He lives 20 minutes away. He just didn't have kids. He threw parties, went camping with 8 guys and a cooler of beer, went to BW3's, stuff that sounded fun, but it was stuff I won't really do again until my kids move out.

I plan to have a lot more in common with him now. You can bet that we will hang out a lot more.

Kids aren't an inconvenience to be overcome. They are 100X more important than any friendship. Until parents realize that they will be unhappy and trying to hang out with the wrong people.

The people dragging their kids into bars have it wrong. They are trying to cling to friends that are not in the same place in life. It is sad.

It is hard if you are the first of your crowd to have kids, you have moved on, and your friends haven't. They won't have friends again until they meet other people with similar aged kids. That is just the way it is.

Try and be understanding, but do not ask them to leave the kids with a sitter. Take the deal they offer or say no thanks. It isn't a negotiation.
 

blacklab

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Alamo_Beer said:
I like kids, don't get me wrong. I've been an uncle since I was 8 or so and I love my niece and nephew.

Thing is, SWMBO and I are 21. We don't have kids, we've got 3 dogs that we treat like kids...but no real kids.

We're friends with a couple that have 2 little girls (like infant and 2 yrs old). They're nice folks and I like hanging out with them. But please, LEAVE YOUR KIDS W/A BABY SITTER! and don't complain to me that you might not be able to afford the $30 for a sitter!

We've been to dinner with them twice, both times were nice and we had a good time. But it's a little annoying when all of a sudden you have to rush to the bathroom to change your kids diaper...

What I'm really pissed about is we went to dinner with them last weekend for his birthday. Afterwards we went to their house and we hung out for a bit. We started talking and decided to have a Greek party sometime...make some Gyros drink some wine...just have a good time. They were all about it and even said "hey if you do that we'll get a sitter and even pick up the wine or something". So I said lets do it this weekend, it's a long weekend and the beginning of the semester it'll be fun.

Now they want to bring thier kids and they're griping about how they've found a sitter but it's going to cost $30 and why can't we just lock up our dogs and all this crap...Sorry but I'm not going to bend about your choice to have kids at a young age.

Am I a dick?? I'm just this guy right now -->:mad: and I'll be this guy later ---->:drunk:

I sense some karmic payback down the road:cross:
 

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cheezydemon said:
I used to get annoyed by crying babies on airplanes. I thought I understood.
Now that I do have kids. I see that mom with the crying baby and I think "Man I know how hard that can be! People should respect those of us who are taking on the challenge of raising the next generation!"

And then I look around daring anyone to complain about the crying kid on the plane.


Airplane, bus, church, grocery store, etc. are a different story for me than bar, restaurant, mall, party. Parents often are forced to take their kids to those places. I just remember times when I was young, that my mom packed us up and took us home if we were grumpy in a restaurant even if we hadn't eaten yet. That usually involved a hearty spanking to drive the point home. As a result of my mom taking serious responsibility for the way we acted, we almost always behaved extremely well in public. I can remember many times when we were complimented by the people dining around us and the wait staff. Every time I see a kid up out of his/her seat doing laps around his/her parent's table, I think to myself, "If you're gonna have kids, for god's sake, RAISE them." In my family, we sat there quietly, ate our meal, and waited for everyone to finish and get up to leave. If I'd have pulled the kind of crap I see every day, my butt would have been tanned to seemingly no end.

It's not that I don't understand that parenting changes things.

I don't understand when becoming a parent DOESN'T change things.
 

cheezydemon

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Well said shaffer. We don't spank, but we do recieve compliments when we are out at restaraunts. Going out to sit in the car is the understood consequence of bad behavior in public.
 

Bobby_M

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I just want to clarify. I have two kids. I don't fool myself into thinking that I can retain the same friendships I had with single or childless friends. It just doesn't work. I think the best you can really hope for is aquaintence level friendships. That actually goes for friendships between married with children couples too. You have a little more in common but neither of you have the time.
 

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We've got our first coming next month, and this thread is quite interesting. For us, we're in an isolated situation away from friends and family, so having kids isn't going to affect our social life much. Seems to me that having a BBQ at your own house may be a way to have fun with friends, and not have a sitter. As long as the theme of the party is more BBQ than beer, it seems you can still have a decent social life with kids...right? Or am I just kidding myself? :D
 

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shafferpilot said:
Airplane, bus, church, grocery store, etc. are a different story for me than bar, restaurant, mall, party. Parents often are forced to take their kids to those places. I just remember times when I was young, that my mom packed us up and took us home if we were grumpy in a restaurant even if we hadn't eaten yet. That usually involved a hearty spanking to drive the point home. As a result of my mom taking serious responsibility for the way we acted, we almost always behaved extremely well in public. I can remember many times when we were complimented by the people dining around us and the wait staff. Every time I see a kid up out of his/her seat doing laps around his/her parent's table, I think to myself, "If you're gonna have kids, for god's sake, RAISE them." In my family, we sat there quietly, ate our meal, and waited for everyone to finish and get up to leave. If I'd have pulled the kind of crap I see every day, my butt would have been tanned to seemingly no end.

It's not that I don't understand that parenting changes things.

I don't understand when becoming a parent DOESN'T change things.

Hear, hear! I really feel for folks who have to travel with children, and I know it is a big deal and can be VERY hard to do. I cut them a lot of slack and I don't blame the kiddos for crying or being grumpy or gassy or whatnot.

What I DO mind is voluntary misbehavior that interferes with me and my own enjoyment of a chosen and paid-for activity. What I mind EVEN MORE is for a parent to ignore it or excuse it or think I'm an ass for not adoring their little darling's cute precociousness.

For instance, if there's an angry kid sitting behind me on an airplane kicking my seat, I fully expect the parent to take care of it. Unfortunately, as a frequent flyer, about every 3rd or 4th flight gives me exactly this problem. Only about 1/2 the time will a parent address it with the child to the extent that the behavior stops. The other 1/2...what do I do? Most of the time I will turn and give the PARENT the stink-eye, hopefully prodding them to do what needs doin'.

If a parent is really trying, but just the kid is over the edge with anxiety or exhaustion, then I just silently curse my bad luck and carry on. Sometimes things can't be helped. Except, pehaps, with some sugared rum and a dose of Benadryl...;)
 

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Scuba, you'll probably meet a lot more friends that you have a lot in common with. My wife took Cassie to a lot of playgroups when she was little, and she made some really good friendships with people who have kids who are Cassie's age. Works out great; not only are these people that we have a lot in common with, but when we go to their house, everything is babyproofed, they understand about having to inturrupt dinner for diapers, etc...

It's also a great resource for babysitters, we're MUCH more comfortable leaving Cassie with them for a little while than some high school girl. And, Cassie's got a couple of BFFs.
 

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ScubaSteve said:
We've got our first coming next month, and this thread is quite interesting. For us, we're in an isolated situation away from friends and family, so having kids isn't going to affect our social life much. Seems to me that having a BBQ at your own house may be a way to have fun with friends, and not have a sitter. As long as the theme of the party is more BBQ than beer, it seems you can still have a decent social life with kids...right? Or am I just kidding myself? :D


You can still have a good social life, but believe me it WILL impact the little social life that you do have now. I am in the same situation as you, both mine and my wifes parents (and all family) live out of state, which makes it even harder to find someone to watch your child. Like the theme of this thread is becoming, You will just start having more friends with kids then without. I have found that once you establish good friendships with other parents, and this is key, you see that your children get along and play well together, the swapping of nights out is priceless. I am not sure what we would do if we couldn't trade "nights off" with some of our other friends.

I am getting ready to be a single dad for a year or more, depending on the needs of the army, so I apologize if I take a little bit of this to heart and sound a little brash. But I make no exceptions when it comes to my family. I have every right to be out some where with my child as anyone with out children. I will take care of my son if he is acting up or being rude. So others don't have to "deal" with it.

Bobby, I didn't mean to come off like that, it was a knee jerk reaction to what i thought was a generalization of all parents, but knowing that it came from another parent puts it in diferent terms.
 

blacklab

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ScubaSteve said:
We've got our first coming next month, and this thread is quite interesting. For us, we're in an isolated situation away from friends and family, so having kids isn't going to affect our social life much. Seems to me that having a BBQ at your own house may be a way to have fun with friends, and not have a sitter. As long as the theme of the party is more BBQ than beer, it seems you can still have a decent social life with kids...right? Or am I just kidding myself? :D

Agreed - you just have to find ways to have a fun social life and include the kids. Often this means hanging with other parents. We are a little turned off by people who always have their kids with sitters and are going out partying every Friday night.

And, it seems harsh, but you'll find out who your 'real' friends are. I've found that the ones that didn't understand the kid thing were just really self absorbed/selfish people anyway.

Also-congrats! Having my kids was the best thing that ever happened to me!:D
 

WOP31

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Oh yeah one more thing Steve, any one of you or your wifes friends that say "I would love to watch *insert childs name here* for a night so you guys can have a night off" As long as you trust them, TAKE THEM UP ON IT. Then you will truely see who your friends are. If they stand by what they said then you know they are good people. And believe me right off the bat you are going to get a ton of people who tell you this.
 

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Priorities and perspectives change. I'm not a parent yet, but I can understand and respect the commitment to one's offspring.

As the other people here pointed out, your priorities at this stage of the game are different. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact I think that's a good thing.

The 20s in my opinion are a great time for having fun and establishing your career. Kids can wait until your 30s after you partied yourself out.
 

shafferpilot

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I have on occasion helped out that poor parent who is trying to keep the kid in check but just can't get it done. Recently, at the grocery store the mom in front of me was trying to get checked out while her obnoxious kid was whining on and on about wanting a candy bar. It was late in the evening and she was still in her work uniform, her hair pointing in six different directions at once. She was digging the no-longer-paperclipped coupons out of her purse, trying to get the brat to shut up and apologizing to me all at the same time. The kid started up again, and in my best dad/teacher/cop voice I said, "Son, you knock that off and listen to your mother, RIGHT NOW!" And I gave mom a wink. It's amazing how effective a stranger's voice can be for a 5 year old. Of course, the parent in trouble needs to be VERY carefully evaluated first. Some parents would find a stranger's "help" to be an insult to them.
 

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So basically what you're saying is that your friend's need to take care of their child annoys you but your swmbo cries every time you put your dog in a kennel?
 

Kevin Dean

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I don't have kids and don't want them. I'm blessed with a wife who also doesn't want kids. We choose to live a kid-free life which means we also live a parent free life.

It's not exactly fair to tell your friends to get a sitter because I'd resent someone telling me how to raise my kid. That said, if you KNOW they're bringing the kids, make it clear that it annoys you or makes you uncomfortable or whatever. Make it clear BEFORE you go out and if that means not doing whatever you're planning on doing. They'd probably be annoyed if you lugged your dogs around and they'll understand that.

Either you clear it out of the way now or you'll resent them and clear them out of the way later.
 

Fish

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I think its pretty clear that once you have kids its not possible to hang out with people who don't have them, for exactly the reasons posted here.
For us a "night out" is about $100 and thats just dinner & a movie. But its not just dinner and a movie its dinner/movie for us, dinner/movie for the kids and the sitter and paying the sitter. And we never did a sitter until the second child came and she was about 2. Now we are fine with it but it takes a long time to get used to the idea of letting a teenage girl take care of your kids.

What we have done is to join a baby sitting co-op with friends with kids. There are 3 families and each Sat night one family takes all 6 kids. That gives us 2 free nights a month, one Sat night with the kids and one with 6 kids. It works great, its free and the kids have a great time.
 

zoebisch01

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The way I see it is your friends need to realize the stage of life they are at. Your days with them are going to be this way, it's just part of their life now.

Kind of a funny story, I have 3 kids. All of our friends have kids pretty much. So I was on a business trip in Chicago and some coworkers and I went out. One of the guys wanted to see his friends so we decided to hook up at a restaurant. They brought their infant with them, no biggie to me...but an appetizer (house tidbit they gave out) came around some kind of spicy Tuna Carpaccio like thing...anyway, the guy was like "oh she loves spicy food" and proceeds to give her a taste. Well two seconds later the kid throws up all over the table. I felt bad for the parents...but when I thought about it later, my own choice (if I had been in their shoes when asked about going out) would probably have been to stay home with the kids and skip the night on the town, or to say "hey come over to our place" :D
 

Rick_R

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I've found that the ones that didn't understand the kid thing were just really self absorbed/selfish people anyway.
As a blanket statement, that seems a bit harsh, but could be true of the ones you knew/know.

For us, we're at the other end of the kid thing. My youngest of two kids is a senior in high school so we haven't had to worry about babysitters for quite awhile. We do have friends/family with younger kids that we enjoy hanging out with on occasion, but actually prefer to hang out with those who, like us, have finished that stage in life. Maybe it is self absorbed to enjoy a more adult evening than you get with a kid interrupting every few seconds, but, hey, been there, done that, wouldn't give up those years for anything -- but happy enough it's behind us.

Rick
 

zoebisch01

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rickylr said:
Maybe it is self absorbed to enjoy a more adult evening than you get with a kid interrupting every few seconds, but, hey, been there, done that, wouldn't give up those years for anything


I am a firm believer in embracing the moment that we live in to the fullest. Instead of seize the day, I believe in seize the moment. So I don't think it's selfish at all.

What I think would be selfish is that when one is at the time in life with kids to try and always 'get away' from it. Sure it's not easy, I'll be the first to admit that...but then again nothing rewarding ever is :D and people need a break from time to time. I guess what I am getting at is that where does a parent cross the line between needing a break and abandoning their role as a parent.

Actually (philosophical rant here) you are at this very moment creating your future to a degree and your past. In this moment in time you have power, at no other moment will you have it. :fro:
 

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Fish said:
I think its pretty clear that once you have kids its not possible to hang out with people who don't have them, for exactly the reasons posted here.

I gotta disagree with this statement. I have plenty of friends with kids that I still hang out with. The dynamic of how and when we hang out may have changed, but to say that people with kids can't be friends with people without kids is a bit narrow minded. So, since I don't have kids yet I have to stop being friends with people that have been some of my best friends since grammar school? If these are actually good friends that we're talking about, you just realize that once kids are in the picture the friendship changes, it doesn't have to end.
 

Fish

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c.n.budz said:
I gotta disagree with this statement. I have plenty of friends with kids that I still hang out with. The dynamic of how and when we hang out may have changed, but to say that people with kids can't be friends with people without kids is a bit narrow minded. So, since I don't have kids yet I have to stop being friends with people that have been some of my best friends since grammar school? If these are actually good friends that we're talking about, you just realize that once kids are in the picture the friendship changes, it doesn't have to end.

Of course you are right.
 

Baldy_Beer_Brewery

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Been all through this years ago. Kids and dogs. In fact we had some friends and we didn't particularly care for their kids or dogs as neither were very well behaved.

When you entertain or plan gatherings, I think these kids and dogs should both be taken into account. If the event is not appropriate for them leave them (kids and dogs) home or put them (dogs) in the kennel.
 

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Kevin K said:
Simply put, people without kids do not understand how having kids will change you and your priorities. .


Some of us without kids DO understand how having kids will change you and your priorities.

We also think some of you become so centred on your kids that you forget that YOU are a person as well, not just a servant to your new offspring.

I totally lose respect for people who completely dismiss their previous friends, hobbies and other aspects of their lives the second they have a child. YES, having a shild changes your life drastically, and your responsibilites and focus of your life change, but if you let this new addition to you life completely change what you love about your life, and who you are, I have no time for you.

I don't have kids, and my wife and I have decided that we never will. I understand and respect that someone needs to produce the next generation of doctors, lawers, garbage men and hookers, and I applaud the efforts of the procreating masses!:rockin:

We have friends that turned into totally self centred a$$holes when they had kids. We don't speak to them anymore.

We also have friends that are well balanced, intelligent, understanding people that appreciate us for who and what we are and socialise with us, both with and without their kids. They don't treat us like freaks because we don't plan to have children, and they don't bore us with the amazing stories of how their supergenious kids are smarter than everyone else in the entire school and **** golden eggs!

We in turn show the same interest in their kids as we would in any other aspect of their lives, like their jobs, their parents, their hobbies etc.

Having children doesn not mean evey other aspect of your life becomes irrelevant eh? They are just another addaition to your lives to make it more full and enjoyable.

That's just my opinion, I could be wrong!:D
 

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PeteOz77 said:
Some of us without kids DO understand how having kids will change you and your priorities.

We also think some of you become so centred on your kids that you forget that YOU are a person as well, not just a servant to your new offspring.

I totally lose respect for people who completely dismiss their previous friends, hobbies and other aspects of their lives the second they have a child. YES, having a shild changes your life drastically, and your responsibilites and focus of your life change, but if you let this new addition to you life completely change what you love about your life, and who you are, I have no time for you.

I don't have kids, and my wife and I have decided that we never will. I understand and respect that someone needs to produce the next generation of doctors, lawers, garbage men and hookers, and I applaud the efforts of the procreating masses!:rockin:

We have friends that turned into totally self centred a$$holes when they had kids. We don't speak to them anymore.

We also have friends that are well balanced, intelligent, understanding people that appreciate us for who and what we are and socialise with us, both with and without their kids. They don't treat us like freaks because we don't plan to have children, and they don't bore us with the amazing stories of how their supergenious kids are smarter than everyone else in the entire school and **** golden eggs!

We in turn show the same interest in their kids as we would in any other aspect of their lives, like their jobs, their parents, their hobbies etc.

Having children doesn not mean evey other aspect of your life becomes irrelevant eh? They are just another addaition to your lives to make it more full and enjoyable.

That's just my opinion, I could be wrong!:D

:ban: :ban:

You hit the nail right on the head! Nice way of phrasing it.

The only thing I might add is that I feel it is a vital part of parenting for kids to see their parents as complete people, with their own interests and persuit of personal growth. That's what you want your kids to be, right? So they need a model for that!
 

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There is always the option of a 4th term abortion. I have been a huge proponent of someone going around and performing 4th term abortions on all the screaming crying brats you see people dragging around with them, especially in restaurants and movie theaters, wow that bugs me.

Just remember the children are the future, unless we put a stop to them right now.
 

shafferpilot

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Donasay said:
There is always the option of a 4th term abortion. I have been a huge proponent of someone going around and performing 4th term abortions on all the screaming crying brats you see people dragging around with them, especially in restaurants and movie theaters, wow that bugs me.

Just remember the children are the future, unless we put a stop to them right now.

ROFLMFAO:D
 

WOP31

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Donasay said:
There is always the option of a 4th term abortion. I have been a huge proponent of someone going around and performing 4th term abortions on all the screaming crying brats you see people dragging around with them, especially in restaurants and movie theaters, wow that bugs me.

Just remember the children are the future, unless we put a stop to them right now.

How are you going to blame the kids for lack of proper parenting. Remember Kids are only as good as the role models they have to follow. SO if you are looking for 4th term abortions how about you aim that statement at the parents of the "screaming crying brats you see people dragging around with them."
 

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The fact that Kids who misbehave have their parents to blame, doesn't make them any more tolerable.. a BRAT is a BRAT, for whatever reason...

Wouldn't it be great though, if when you see a kid running up and down the aisles of a supermarket, or racing around the tables in a restaurant screaming, you could grab them and give them a whack on the backside (like their parents SHOULD be doing) and then go over and smack the worthless parents as well? :)

I agree that 98% of the misbehaving kids out there are the product of poor parenting. That being said, NO amount of "good Parenting" or discipline would have stopped ME from being a PAIN in the ARSE kid ;)
 

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You know what?

My daughter's pretty loud. She loves to run. She does that sometimes when we're in the supermarket. I try and get her to "behave," but there's only so much you can do with a 3-year old. I ain't going to hit her, and if anyone else did, I'd lay them out cold.

But you know? She's having fun. She's laughing and singing and observing things and learning and all the good stuff. Smart kid, she's just full of joy and exhuberance and excitement.

She's also a lot happier than I ever recall myself ever being as a kid.

She's a little bit loud for you? Well, **** off, I don't care.
 

PeteOz77

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the_bird said:
You know what?

My daughter's pretty loud. She loves to run. She does that sometimes when we're in the supermarket. I try and get her to "behave," but there's only so much you can do with a 3-year old. I ain't going to hit her, and if anyone else did, I'd lay them out cold.

But you know? She's having fun. She's laughing and singing and observing things and learning and all the good stuff. Smart kid, she's just full of joy and exhuberance and excitement.

She's also a lot happier than I ever recall myself ever being as a kid.

She's a little bit loud for you? Well, **** off, I don't care.


Maybe you SHOULD CARE about what everyone around you thinks when your daughter is yelling and screming and having FUN! Maybe those around you aren't having as much fun? Maybe they are very annoyed? Based on your comments, your Daughter's happiness is the only thing that matters, regardless of how anyone around her is affected.

Perfect example of just what I am talking about.

Your right to let your daughter run and scream and carry on, is greater than my right to enjoy a nice meal in a restaurant when I am paying for that right?

Relax mate. No one said I was going to touch you or your kid.... I was just suggesting that it would be great if more parents thought about the feelings of people around themselves and their kids and were more respectful of their rights as well.

I can see this getting very ugly, so I won't comment again. I don't need people abusing me for putting my opinion forward.

I did expect better behaviour from a moderator :(
 

the_bird

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She doesn't scream and carry on (which is, 99 times out of 100, a sign that the child is overtired), but she expresses her exhuberance sometimes a bit louder than would be ideal.

Anyway, I get a lot more smirks from cute young mothers than dirty looks from middle-aged guys, so I'm pretty satisfied with the status quo.... ;)
 

Bedlam

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Supermarket? No problem. Going to the supermarket is a chore and nobody there is paying for the simple joy of wandering the household goods aisle.

What it comes down to is that there are kid-okay places and kid-not-okay places. Simple as that. Supermarket, McDonald's, airplane (sadly, but just a fact of life), well they're gonna be there. And that's okay. Like I said before, sometimes a kid gets grumpy or gassy in these places and those of us who are kid-free have to just deal.


But those kid-not-okay places are where I get my dander up.
Champagne brunch or fancy steak place for example...better keep 'em under your thumb. I will usually splurge on two or three NICE restaurant meals per year and really, really look forward to them. If there's a kiddo acting up and parents don't take care of it, I'm liable to get PISSED. I don't see any point in bringing a kid to an adult outing if there's any doubt about kiddo misbehaving in a big way. It is a little different if a parent is really trying, but at some point you just have to say it isn't working and vacate the premises.

I work hard for my money and don't treat myself much. But if good time that I've worked hard to get and pay for is getting ruined, I will take action. I'll either talk to the parent, restaruant manager or somesuch. Or just tell the kid if he doesn't settle down, I'll kill Santa.
demonio3.gif
 

brauhaus

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man... here we try to suppress every little noise that comes from our little one... I always think people are giving us nasty looks... then again, i'm just paranoid.

my daughter fortunately is wonderful and we get a lot of compliments on how well behaved she is, I am glad. When we go out and there is a kid crying and carrying on she always looks at us like, "why is that kid being bad?" and she is only a year old.

don't get me wrong, she likes to be heard sometimes, but she isn't doing it in a crying screaming kind of way... I think she is just trying to talk to us or something... most of the time she is very content munching on whatever we put in front of her.

there are some kids who can go out, and some kids who can't.

my niece for instance is an embarrassment, and my brother-in-law and sister-in-law both know it, my niece will kick and scream to the point where I have even walked away from the table to go somewhere out of earshot so I can just absorb a few minutes of quietness. However, my BLW & SLW just sit there and get all flushed red and don't know what to do... it's horrible and it's a shame... but some kids know how to behave and some don't...

kids in general just don't bug me and I think most kids are pretty good, it's the kids that throw a fit and scream in anger that bother me.
 

the_bird

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I probably worded that reply too tersely. I just react pretty negatively to the whole "children should be seen, not heard" attitude that's implicit in some of the comments.

Fact is, Cassie talks a lot. I have no problem with that. It'd developmental; we hold conversations throughout the time that we're shopping together, be it the grocery store, the HBS, Home Depot, wherever. We observe things and talk about them, and she's always amazing me at the vocabulary that she's picked up.

When we're at the restaurant, she can't always sit still for the whole time. So, we get up and walk. We're usually at the brewpub - YES, I take my daughter to the pub, it's one of our most common places. She'll want to go look at the grain mill, she'll see the "HLT" on one of the tanks and I'll explain that means "Hot Liquor Tank" and that the tank is where they keep the hot water for making the beer... it's all teaching her stuff. She'll be a better brewer than most of us by the time her classmates are stealing their first Budweisers from their fathers. If her singing the "ABCs" or "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" as we pass your table bothers you... well, that's your problem.

FWIW, the propreitors of the Asian restaurant we go to all the time absolutely ADORE her. They'll take her on a tour of the kitchen, they'll always come up to her (even if they're not waiting on us) and try and make her smile, they'll tie together the chopsticks for her so that she can try and eat with them. It's not a terribly uptight place, we don't bring her to the fancy resturants, but still, she can be fairly rambunctious but it doesn't seem to bother anybody.

Does this mean that she runs wild? Of course not - she gets consequences when she truly misbehaves, but I'm not about to repress her natural enthusiasm. Daddy isn't someone that she's going to learn to fear.
 

brauhaus

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the_bird said:

FWIW, the propreitors of the Asian restaurant we go to all the time absolutely ADORE her. They'll take her on a tour of the kitchen, they'll always come up to her (even if they're not waiting on us) and try and make her smile, they'll tie together the chopsticks for her so that she can try and eat with them. It's not a terribly uptight place, we don't bring her to the fancy resturants, but still, she can be fairly rambunctious but it doesn't seem to bother anybody.

damn, you guys get that treatment too? hehe, here I thought my kid was special... for some reason Asians seem to love little girls (not in a weird way, b/c yes that does sounds weird), they are always flocking to our table and playing with our daughters hair or telling her how cute she is... my kid hams it up...
 

the_bird

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I think it's just good business; they let us know that we're welcome as a family, we make it a point to always go there (or the pub) for dinner.
 

Beerthoven

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My wife and I took ourselves and our 2 and 5 year old boys out to Chili's for dinner last Sunday. My kids are pretty damn energetic, and they were playing with the silverware and coloring and laughing and being kinda loud. The NFC championship game was on and there were a lot of families with kids in there, and it was pretty noisy so I didn't think anything of it.

There was this middle aged guy sitting in the booth across the aisle from us with his wife or girlfriend, being very quiet. They didn't look like they were having any fun at all. You know the couple...very tense, like they could explode at any time. Anyway, this guy gets up and says to me "Your kids are being too loud. Its rude and I can't enjoy my meal" or some such thing.

I said "No, my kids are not being too loud and I will not tell them to be quiet. This is what kids do."

So this a$$hole goes and gets the manager, who offered to reseat them in another part of the restaurant but they decided to leave instead. What a total loser.

I have no sympathy for people who don't have children but who feel they have all the right in the world to tell people who do have children how to raise them. If my children are bothering you, then go **** yourself, because I don't care. And if you you think you know better than me how to raise my children then go **** yourself again because you don't have a clue what you are talking about. And that's a fact.
 
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