Tips on keeping the Mrs. happy

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sweetcell

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it's been said before, but show as much support for SWMBO's hobbies as you want her to show for yours. mine is in to running and triathlon, so i'm always there for her at competitions and happily dedicate the weekend to travel, cheering, massaging, hauling equipment, etc. makes my taking half a day to brew much easier to justify.

also, be sure that brewing makes you a more interesting person (passionate about the hobby, more informed, able to explain beer & beer making to others, etc), and not a less interesting person (a recluse, a drunk, etc).

Use your leftover Starsan to clean the shower. Its freaking awesome. Nothing grows for quite some time.
YOU'VE JUST SAVED MY MARRIAGE.

well, maybe not, but this is an awesome piece of information. thanks. my SWMBO hates shower mold with a passion. she also thinks that starsan is suspect and stays far away from it ("how can something be so powerful?!? it can't be healthy!"). now i can point out how great the stuff is! mind you, i've just committed myself to cleaning the showers...
 

BasementBrewmistress

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So, what can ladies do to get husbands more involved/interested in brewing? Mine loves the brews that have turned out and is willing to lend muscle, but he doesn't comprehend why I need a 55lb bag of grain, more than one type of hops, or that we have to brew more beer BEFORE the kegs run dry. Drives me bonkers.
 

OkashiiBrew

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Have the best wife.... She went to the brew store to buy me 2 cased of empty bottles.
Then told me now I didn't have to drink to get empties.
 

CreamyGoodness

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Could you come down with some sort of imaginary ache or pain that requires an extra set of hands, since you have to brew more seeing as how you are almost out? Then he sees the process first hand...
So, what can ladies do to get husbands more involved/interested in brewing? Mine loves the brews that have turned out and is willing to lend muscle, but he doesn't comprehend why I need a 55lb bag of grain, more than one type of hops, or that we have to brew more beer BEFORE the kegs run dry. Drives me bonkers.
 

BasementBrewmistress

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Could you come down with some sort of imaginary ache or pain that requires an extra set of hands, since you have to brew more seeing as how you are almost out? Then he sees the process first hand...
I have active RA among other issues, so thankfully no need to pretend. Maybe I should tell him there won't be anymore beer until HE brews it. :p
 

CreamyGoodness

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I can really see myself being just as annoyed with SWMBO if she were to continuously ask why I needed 3+ pounds of honey every time I wanted to make a gallon of mead. I bet you dont care too much that he doesnt want to brew, its the repeated already-answered questions.

My suggestion is that violence is the answer. Next time he, or anyone else for that matter, asks why you need a bag of grain that size when you have already answered it in the past, bop them on the nose with a rolled up copy of the New Yorker. Domestic violence is best when done with a little class.

After the sharp strike to your husband's muzzle, say in a firm voice "bad husband!"


I have active RA among other issues, so thankfully no need to pretend. Maybe I should tell him there won't be anymore beer until HE brews it. :p
 

mosquitocontrol

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I started slow to keep my husband happy. Let him enjoy the fun parts like throwing the hops in the boil. Although you will grumble for a little when he does all the "fun" stuff and you are stuck cleaning and putting everything away.

I think he hated my hobby at first because it was a big mess in a small apartment and all I ever asked for help with was when I would procrastinate bottling. Let me tell you... bottling 25 gallons in one sitting and moving it case by case across the apartment after cleaning does not make hubby happy

I've since concluded that kegerators make happy hubbys AND happy brew-wives.

Slowly though he has taken more interest. He finally understands the concept of a pipeline and will encourage me to brew more if its running low. For a good 6-months this year he brewed more batches than me!
 

sirgeoph

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My wife is as big of a beer nut as I am. When I brought wanting to get into brewing she wanted in. We brewed our first batch this past weekend. Hell, I mentioned I needed to run to the LHBS and she wanted me to wait until the weekend so she could come along.

She almost bought up all the herbs and other elements while we were there. They've got some hard to find herbs and flavorings there that she's been looking for a local supply for.

She's greatly anticipating bottling day to be the one who actually caps the bottles. No arguing there.
 
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Fortunately my wife enjoys my brewing and gets a little involved. Mostly in the bottling and drinking stages but she will help with anything I ask. Our first batch was on her birthday...
 

bernerbrau

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So far I've found the only thing that works consistently is bribes.

"Sorry I ruined the countertop with star-san, honey. Here's $1000 cash and a 6-month pass to the day spa."
 

ResumeMan

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I haven't read the whole thread but I'll share the techniques I used:

1. Brew for awhile, trying not to piss her off too much.

2. Switch to a different hobby she hates even more (mine was raiding in World of Warcraft)

3. Get bored of Hobby #2 and switch back to homebrewing. She'll be so stoked you aren't doing [x] any more she'll work overtime to encourage you ;)

:mug:
 

BasementBrewmistress

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Thanks to y'all, I finally convinced my husband to brew his extract kit. It didn't hurt that a keg ran dry mid-brew. He admitted that the "complexity" of AG is a turn-off.

/derail

As to pleasing wives, if she likes to cook, I'd guess ask for her help on a simple extract brew or small PM/AG batch (assuming she's not already adverse to brewing/smell). I like the idea of a bribe if she hates brewing - maybe take her out to dinner in exchange for a nag-free brewday.

Definitely clean up afterwards. I HATE when my husband does stuff in the kitchen and leaves it looking like a disaster zone.
 

Nmillard

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The only issue I have is her bitching about price. Then I either ask her if she would rather me buy a 12 pack a week of good quality beer .I also remind her of her lululemon problem or other things she likes to buy and it all works but my wife enjoys my brewing most of the time. What works like a charm is asking her what type of beer she would like in the corny keg that way it seems like a gift for her
 

wrench

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I moved from the kitchen to the basement at her urging, now she's complaining that she doesn't see me for hours at a time on brew day! I added a tv, DVD player and comfy chair right near my brewing area in the unfinished basement. (the eliptical and weight machine are also right there) Now she can hang out with me and watch her bad tv while I brew.
 

coypoo

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roadymi said:
Only one rule that is important........marry a woman that likes good beer, she'll understand
Do this and they'll tell you to brew more. I'm a lucky man
 

Nmillard

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BasementBrewmistress said:
The personal keg sounds nice :)

What did she say when you compared the price of microbrew vs homebrew?
She is all for it but when she doesn't want me to brew that day she tries to use price as an argument
 

landshark

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My advice would be to stay single and throw more parties to keep your pipeline flowing. Less complaining about the amount of money spent in brewing or other hobbies as well.

It's a win.
 

IanPC

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My wife noticed my fermentation got active to the point where my airlock got cruddy, then put a blow off on the carboy, which it definitely needed. She said she youtubed it, and it wasn't that hard. I was blown away she even knew what that was. The next day she tells me she ordered me a cream ale kit cause it sounded interesting. We also have both frequented the vermont brew feat up in Burlington. It really is an awesome time.
 

BrewKnurd

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IanPC said:
My wife noticed my fermentation got active to the point where my airlock got cruddy, then put a blow off on the carboy, which it definitely needed. She said she youtubed it, and it wasn't that hard. I was blown away she even knew what that was. The next day she tells me she ordered me a cream ale kit cause it sounded interesting. We also have both frequented the vermont brew feat up in Burlington. It really is an awesome time.
Very nice. I have a supportive wife, but yours takes it to the next level.
 

IanPC

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She's very cool about it. My buddies wife is a pretty big Nazi about it. He lives up in Bangor, Me so brewing with him is like trying to hide a cookie in bed when your 6. Makes for some good stories though.
 

Eighty2Fifty1

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Rule #4, Frequently show her my ridiculous graph that shows how much money I have spend all-time on brewing vrs. what I would have spent on commercial brews or brews on tap at a bar. ( It's kind of fun to show that a hobby has saved me well over $5000 over the past 3 years....)
Remember not to include the price of equipment and tools if you make one of these. They are one-time expenses and do not factor into the overall price of beer.

My fiancee has put me in charge of brewing all the beer for our wedding, so she definitely won't be complaining when I'm brewing every weekend. I've even taken the opportunity to upgrade my equipment (Baby, I can't brew enough beer for 120 people without this 15-gal conical and these keggles)
 

BasementBrewmistress

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Remember not to include the price of equipment and tools if you make one of these. They are one-time expenses and do not factor into the overall price of beer.
Generally, this turns into a debate with my husband every time I try to pull a fast one...ack! When it comes to brewing we just don't see eye-to-eye on indirects and capital expenditures. That said, we recently went to an event charging $7 for short pours. We looked at each other, did a 180, and walked out. Half an hour later we were at home chilling with homebrew (yay! free refills).

He hasn't given me any shiat about brewing expense since.

Maybe this would work on some of the wives that like drinking, but not the expense. If all else fails, maybe show them a spreadsheet that explains how the total cost/gallon comes down the more you brew.
 

CreamyGoodness

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I'm going to be that guy who points out that you have a wife in yoga clothes (perhaps the single hottest thing on the face of the planet) and you refer to it as a "problem" :fro:
The only issue I have is her bitching about price. Then I either ask her if she would rather me buy a 12 pack a week of good quality beer .I also remind her of her lululemon problem or other things she likes to buy and it all works but my wife enjoys my brewing most of the time. What works like a charm is asking her what type of beer she would like in the corny keg that way it seems like a gift for her
 

bernerbrau

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So this weekend my wife dropped $70 on bricks to line the driveway. I thought the driveway looked just fine without 'em.

I was going to protest, but then I remembered that the previous weekend I had dropped about $300 upgrading my picnic taps, and I shut my mouth.
 

sweetcell

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Remember not to include the price of equipment and tools if you make one of these. They are one-time expenses and do not factor into the overall price of beer.
i take it you don't run a business... fixed costs need to be spread out over their lifetime (or amortization period :cross:)

My fiancee has put me in charge of brewing all the beer for our wedding, so she definitely won't be complaining when I'm brewing every weekend. I've even taken the opportunity to upgrade my equipment (Baby, I can't brew enough beer for 120 people without this 15-gal conical and these keggles)
THAT's the way to do it! nice one :mug:
 

SwivelHips

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Plan Ahead
Finish on Time
Clean Up
Share Your Product/Brew Something for Her

Works pretty well for me.

Edit: Brew Outdoors/in the garage
 

stamandster

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She's very cool about it. My buddies wife is a pretty big Nazi about it. He lives up in Bangor, Me so brewing with him is like trying to hide a cookie in bed when your 6. Makes for some good stories though.
Stories I'm sure we'd all love to hear :)
 

Komodo

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Follow up on the shower washing: use regular Soft Scrub, and do a good job. This bit will require actual labor. THEN use the Star San, but use a mop and just cover everything over and over so you make sure it's been saturated for awhile. Then just run water in the tub and use the mop to rinse off everything. It'll stay nice for awhile. DON'T REUSE THE STARSAN FOR BREWING!
 

chalkdust41485

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I just make sure that I get most of the chores done the day before I brew, like mowing the grass, cleaning the house. This way my SWMBO is in a much better mood when I'm brewing. She normally gets involved by helping me out by stirring, grabbing a bowl, etc.

Sadly, my SWMBO doesn't like beer, but likes wine and cider, so I guess I'll have to make room in my brew schedule for a cider for her. :rolleyes:

She has really taken an interest in my brewing after she found out that she can make bread and dog treats from my spent grain! Now, I can use it as an excuse to brew more often! She was so excited that she wants to make tons of dog treats to send to all of our friends. Plus, it makes more efficient use of the grains; they become dual purpose! :ban:
 

rhamilton

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I just make sure that I get most of the chores done the day before I brew, like mowing the grass, cleaning the house. This way my SWMBO is in a much better mood when I'm brewing.
If I'm brewing, I'm usually cooking lunch or dinner for her at the same time. It's a good way to disguise the brew mess as 'the mess necessary to make you a nice meal'.

Also find a beer she likes. I never thought I'd ever see my SWMBO ask for an IPA but I finally found one she likes. Now she is talking about how mad she'll be when the keg runs out and another isn't there to replace it.

Try Simcoe -- SWMBO loves Simcoe :ban:
 

chalkdust41485

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rhamilton said:
If I'm brewing, I'm usually cooking lunch or dinner for her at the same time. It's a good way to disguise the brew mess as 'the mess necessary to make you a nice meal'.

Also find a beer she likes. I never thought I'd ever see my SWMBO ask for an IPA but I finally found one she likes. Now she is talking about how mad she'll be when the keg runs out and another isn't there to replace it.

Try Simcoe -- SWMBO loves Simcoe :ban:
Yeah. She's more into the fruity stuff. I had a pale ale that had a peach note on a sample during bottling that she seemed to like. Unfortunately (for her), the peach smell faded and couldn't be tasted. I'm sure if I make a beer with some nice fruity hops and not too much bitter that she'll like it.
 

EllisTX

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Our kitchen is always a wreck. When I brew the kitchen is usually left clean for once since I have to clean to use it then clean when I'm done.

One thing that helps is that I've pulled her away from Bud Light Lime and Blue Moon to drinking homebrewed pale ales.
 
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