The stupidest comment on your beer

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bigbadjoe

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ive had several times :

wow, really does this beer have alcohol? would you get drunk if i drink this beer?

also, mmm do you add the alcohol after you are boiling? or after?
 
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Just remembered another one. When I tell my wife I'm brewing, then after a long period to cleaning everything, then mashing...when the wort has been boiling for a while my wife will come in and wrinkle her nose and say "what's that smell?"

Sometimes I just come up with a smartass response like "Pancakes. It's pancakes. I just thought, you know right in the middle of brewing my beer, I'm going to stop and make some pancakes."

I can't wait until I get my burner so I can brew outside...
 

Schlenkerla

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ive had several times :

wow, really does this beer have alcohol? would you get drunk if i drink this beer?

also, mmm do you add the alcohol after you are boiling? or after?
It's amazing that so many people have no clue about where the alcohol comes from. You tell them you use Georgia Moon grain alcohol!
 

BDB

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After my BMC friend trying one of my lighter Hefes

Friend: Man you brew good beer...This stuff taste great!
Me: Thanks.
Friend: You think you could brew something like Coors Light?
Me: Might be able to come close.
Friend: If I buy the ingredients will you make it for me?
Me: No.
Friend: Blank stare....
 

bigbadjoe

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After my BMC friend trying one of my lighter Hefes

Friend: Man you brew good beer...This stuff taste great!
Me: Thanks.
Friend: You think you could brew something like Coors Light?
Me: Might be able to come close.
Friend: If I buy the ingredients will you make it for me?
Me: No.
Friend: Blank stare....

oh this is a good one, but really i accept the ingredientes make another beer, and buy a six pack of his crappy beer
 

mattd2

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oh this is a good one, but really i accept the ingredientes make another beer, and buy a six pack of his crappy beer
Diffinatelly should have done that, told him you need the ingredients for a nice IPA (or stout that would have been funnay as) then buy 2 cases of coors, remove the labels and give them to him. Everybody wins, sort of :tank:
 

Jakeedaman21

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I brought some home for my parents during the holidays,

Mom: Is this going to make me go blind?
Me: No... That only happens with distillation
Mom:I don't believe you.
Me:*Facepalm*
 

Grimster

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I brought some home for my parents during the holidays,

Mom: Is this going to make me go blind?
Me: No... That only happens with distillation
Mom:I don't believe you.
Me:*Facepalm*
Stupidest thing said about distillation also (sorry had to throw that out there) most of the deaths/blindness is not the shine itself as much as it is the silly crap people have used to cook the shine IN, car radiators/etc or added to the shine later to fool people into thinking it's stronger than it really is (cutting it).

Methanol has a lower boiling point than ethanol so any good moonshiner will dump the first little bit of a run of whiskey and then they make sure all the runoff is mixed together so that any remaining methanol is sufficiently diluted to not be anywhere near dangerous.

Our neighbor when I was a kid was a big time moonshiner and my dad dabbled in it for home use (both are dead now so no fear of them getting popped for it now) so I grew up around it, sometimes even helping haul materials for the neighbor with his tractor back to his operations back in the hard to reach areas of the countryside.

There's also reports (not sure if this is confirmed) that during the Prohibition era the FBI actually spiked moonshine with methanol then let it be sold so that the legend of moonshine killing people could grow, can't find any real proof of this beyond hearsay though.
 

slowbie

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Stupidest thing said about distillation also (sorry had to throw that out there) most of the deaths/blindness is not the shine itself as much as it is the silly crap people have used to cook the shine IN, car radiators/etc or added to the shine later to fool people into thinking it's stronger than it really is (cutting it).

Methanol has a lower boiling point than ethanol so any good moonshiner will dump the first little bit of a run of whiskey and then they make sure all the runoff is mixed together so that any remaining methanol is sufficiently diluted to not be anywhere near dangerous.

Our neighbor when I was a kid was a big time moonshiner and my dad dabbled in it for home use (both are dead now so no fear of them getting popped for it now) so I grew up around it, sometimes even helping haul materials for the neighbor with his tractor back to his operations back in the hard to reach areas of the countryside.

There's also reports (not sure if this is confirmed) that during the Prohibition era the FBI actually spiked moonshine with methanol then let it be sold so that the legend of moonshine killing people could grow, can't find any real proof of this beyond hearsay though.
+1. And even if a distiller doesn't dump the beginning of the batch it's not going to be any more dangerous than fermented alcohol unless he dumps a lot of the good part of the batch.
 

Grimster

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+1. And even if a distiller doesn't dump the beginning of the batch it's not going to be any more dangerous than fermented alcohol unless he dumps a lot of the good part of the batch.
The big problem is when the moonshiner doesn't mix all his runnings together, if you simply set out 50 1 gallon jugs, jug #1 could be dangerous, but if you mix them into a 50 gallon drum then dispense 50 1 gallon jugs from that, the bad stuff is diluted to the point of non-lethal levels.

Also not using the wrong things for your mash, peel your potatoes, core the apples, no citrus at all, some fruits have naturally more methanol than others do, though ALL have "some" but we're talking minute amounts.
 

Jakeedaman21

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I know that its not the actual process of distillation that can do that... but the stuff people add to it or make it in. It was funny when I finally relented and told her that Id be ok if I ended up going blind. The look on her face was priceless.
 

MrWiggles

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Well this isn't a stupid comment on my homebrew, since my first batch is still bottle conditioning, but a stupid comment none-the-less.
So the story begins with Stammtisch, a weekly meeting for the German club at my university. We recruited some new members this year and one is a long haired guy of 21 years. Well my SWMBO had a couple drinks and was chit chatting with everyone, and told this guy how much she just LOVES long hair on men (mine is growing back out since I donated it a year and a half ago). So this guy, knowing that we are together, and having a girlfriend of his own, now pretty much stalks her and tries to flirt and talk with her all the time (I'm not worried because she's loyal and would kick his @$$ if he tried anything). Well today he was talking to her and trying to flirt and this happens.
Him: So where does whats-his-name get his brew stuff?
Her: ....um, you mean Brett?
Him: ya, sure, whatever. So where does he get it?
Her: Alabrew. But you do know it takes about a month or so before you can drink it right?
Him: Oh ya, sure, I used to brew all the time.

Umm ok, well if you used to brew, why don't you have the equipment and know where to get it?
All of this from a guy who claims to have an IQ of 190. Yes, one-hundred-ninety. Sorry if this was :off: but I had to rant a bit.
 

Grimster

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All of this from a guy who claims to have an IQ of 190. Yes, one-hundred-ninety. Sorry if this was :off: but I had to rant a bit.
FFF haha 190, what a ******. Anyway he sounds like the type to rat you out to the fuzz if he ever gets wind that it's (technically) illegal.
 

MrWiggles

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FFF haha 190, what a ******. Anyway he sounds like the type to rat you out to the fuzz if he ever gets wind that it's (technically) illegal.
Well im not too worried since he seems to have a hard time remembering my name, and judging by his appearance and actions, I'm sure he does plenty of other things much more illegal than me brewing beer.
But yes, quite the *****emeister. It is pretty entertaining most of the time seeing guys try to hit on SWMBO when I'm right next to her. She isn't the passive type either so she'll let 'em have it when they step too far out of line.
 

Schlenkerla

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All of this from a guy who claims to have an IQ of 190. Yes, one-hundred-ninety. Sorry if this was :off: but I had to rant a bit.
A high intellect quotient is no proof that they are socially competent. Think of the ******* boss, who can maneuver in social circles with relative ease but the technical geek is very good at solving problems but is unable to hobknob outside his peer circle.

I tend to think highly intelligent people have personality flaws. Lack of the ability to communicate, or the patience to deal with normal people. Not able to fit in socially.

That guy is a dufus. I'd say he took the compliment wrong, and starting wandering into dangerous territory.
 

MrWiggles

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A high intellect quotient is no proof that they are socially competent. Think of the ******* boss, who can maneuver in social circles with relative ease but the technical geek is very good at solving problems but is unable to hobknob outside his peer circle.

I tend to think highly intelligent people have personality flaws. Lack of the ability to communicate, or the patience to deal with normal people. Not able to fit in socially.

That guy is a dufus. I'd say he took the compliment wrong, and starting wandering into dangerous territory.
I understand what you mean, I've known people that were extremely intelligent people that couldnt keep a meaningful conversation alive. But for real, he was just trying to appear bigger than he was. I read him like a book, a player, if you will, one who is (or at least thinks they are) so good with words to be able to woo weak minded peoples. But for real, the IQ score stops at 140, rising above that only for super-genius level. Leonardo daVinci had an IQ of 180, there is no way this guy has 190 and is 21 years old and still in college rather than some super research lab or somethin like that.
But yes, dangerous territory indeed, I don't even get a chance to defend her. I watched her almost beat up 3 frat guys at a party once because they crossed the line. :rockin:
Ok sorry to keep that going so long.
We will now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
 

glenn514

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Ever notice how common sense is so uncommon these days?

Ever notice that there are many, many more back ends of horses than there are front ends???

glenn514:mug:
 

floyd242

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I took a bunch of my homebrew to a music festival and gave some away, the guy camped next to us kept calling me Samuel Jackson after that Chappelle Show skit. I'd be randomly walking around and hear "It'll get you drunk!". It was kind of funny the first 20 times...
 

jgilbreth

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...We recruited some new members this year and one is a long haired guy of 21 years.
...
Him: Oh ya, sure, I used to brew all the time.
Sounds like a typical hipster. "Yeah, I did that back before you did. I'm already passed it though, so you're obviously not as cutting edge as me."

He probably also told everyone how he gets all his clothes from Goodwill because he's anti-consumerism and asked everyone if they knew of some ridiculously obscure terrible band that he's currently into.

I'd tell his American Apparel wearing @$$ to go get a PBR and leave everyone else alone.
 

Schlenkerla

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Just had a guy tell me that he thought Ed's apfelwein gave him vertigo. He gets no more homebrew.
Thats probably half true. He was getting trashed and misdiagnosed drunkenness with vertigo. It would be alot more funny if he said that he was in coma the whole next day.

I will say drink this on barstool for a an hour or two... have 3-4 then hop off to take a leak and you will feel like you have spaghetti legs. Did so with my first run-in with Strongbow Cider in London.
 

Grimster

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Thats probably half true. He was getting trashed and misdiagnosed drunkenness with vertigo. It would be alot more funny if he said that he was in coma the whole next day.

I will say drink this on barstool for a an hour or two... have 3-4 then hop off to take a leak and you will feel like you have spaghetti legs. Did so with my first run-in with Strongbow Cider in London.
No doubt this is probably the case, my latest batch of apfelwein has an sg of 1.111 so it should be quite rude when it's done fermenting.
 

GoldMiner

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This isn't really a stupid comment about my beer exactly, just about beer in general.

Talking to a co-worker who found out the I homebrew from another co-worker who I shared some brew with.

Her: I want some homebrew.
Me: Not sure if you'd like it.
Her: I want some homebrew.
Me: Sure, what type would you like.
Her: What type do you have?
Me: A pale ale, IPA, English Mild, English bitter...
Her: Got any plum? Plum sounds good.

I got back to work before my head exploded.
 

BlueSunshine

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And from Mom:

"Are you sure it wont kill you?"
"ARE YOU SURE?!"
"How do you know what's growing in there?"
"How do you know if it's not poisonous?"
I get the EXACT same stuff from my mom.

Mom: "You don't know what kind of germs are in there!"
Me: "Mom, I do know, I made it myself. Also there is nothing that can live in beer that can harm the human body"
Mom: "You don't know that!"
Me: ::facepalm::

I'm grateful for the fact that my mom is still looking out for me at age 26, but the lady can at least have some confidence in my knowledge. :p
 

Jakeedaman21

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I was in a college German class yesterday and were discussing beer. It was a culture lesson >.> plus the teacher is cute, 22, and just arrived here a month ago. As we were talking about the sad state of BMC, I suggested to her to try american ales and micro brews. While she knew what I was talking about, one guy on my left turns to me with a quizzical face.

Him: What is an ale?
Me: Wait...what?
Him: How can you not like real beer like bud?
Me: Wait... you don't know what ale is????
Him: No, I only drink real beer. Whats ale??

If it had not been for my cute teacher, I would have cried.
 

MBasile

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"This is homebrew? Then why does it taste so good?"


I was in a college German class yesterday and were discussing beer. It was a culture lesson >.> plus the teacher is cute, 22, and just arrived here a month ago. As we were talking about the sad state of BMC, I suggested to her to try american ales and micro brews. While she knew what I was talking about, one guy on my left turns to me with a quizzical face.

Him: What is an ale?
Me: Wait...what?
Him: How can you not like real beer like bud?
Me: Wait... you don't know what ale is????
Him: No, I only drink real beer. Whats ale??

If it had not been for my cute teacher, I would have cried.
Pics of the teacher are required before any further posting.
 

mikeysab

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I don't know what reminded me of this story, but it's kind of funny. I was stirring my wort, standing over my BK in the driveway when my neighbors Mom and Dad approached his house. We share a driveway, so we were close. He's 100 percent irish, as is his mom and dad. His Dad walked right by without batting an eye, but his Mom was curious.

Neighbors Mom: Hey, what're ya makin there, stew?
Me(chuckling): No, beer
NM: Why ya cookin the beer, can't ya just drink it?
Me(chuckling more): No no, I'm MAKING beer.
NM(confused): oh, ok, take care then.

Later, my neighbor told me his mom came in the house and said "What's wrong with your neighbor, is he a little retarded? He's outside boiling beer?" He tried to explain it to her, but she just couldn't grasp the thought of someone making beer in their driveway.
 

curlyfat

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Me: "pour it carefully, trying not to get any of the sediment from the bottom."
Co-worker: "Could I just pour it through a coffee filter?"
Me: "It'll be fine if you just pour it carefully."
Co-Worker: "Would cheese cloth be better?"
Me: (thinking) just give the damn thing back to me (outloud) "sure. That might work"

Next day.
Co-Worker: "I tried the cheesecloth thing. The beer was really foamy! The foam tasted good, though!"

:rolleyes:
 

Sreidy12

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Me and a group of new friends were sitting around the breakfast table the other day the night after they tasted one of my homebrews. They wanted to know all about the hobby, and I was more than happy to impart my knowledge on them; however my one friend thought he knew plenty more about beer than I...

Them: So what kinds of beer are there out there?
Me: Well they're basically categorized into...
Ignorant friend: You've got your ales, lagers, and stouts.
Me: Actually Stouts are ales
Ignorant friend: No man, there's three types of beer
Me: No, ales are brewed with top fermenting yeast, lagers bottom
Ignorant friend: No I know, I've been to the Guinness brewery. Have you been to the Guinness brewery?
Me: No, but I've been to the empire state building, and that doesn't make me an architect or an expert on how skyscrapers are built
Friends: OHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
 

MrInternet

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No doubt this is probably the case, my latest batch of apfelwein has an sg of 1.111 so it should be quite rude when it's done fermenting.
Holy frack, how'd you get it that high?? You must have dumped in 6 or 7 pounds of sugar to get it that high, plain AJ is like 1.060 :)

The dumbest comments I've gotten were seriously just borne out of lack of knowledge... they'll say "Oh man, you've only got ales? Ales don't agree with me, I only drink lagers..." I ask why, and they say "well, they're made with all different ingredients, aren't they? Something in ales just doesn't agree with me"

(Translation: I don't really like BEER, I like fizzy yellow man-soda. NTTAWWT, of course.)

Someone else asked me how much it would cost them for me to make them a batch... I said "probably $200". After they realized that's like $100 a case, they ask why it's so expensive and I say "because you're asking me to give up a brew day making something I want to make something you want. That don't come cheap. Also, it's illegal so I'd never do it anyway. You're more than welcome to come over and have whatever I've got as a guest, though. :)"
 

Ceedubya

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Him: What is an ale?
Me: Wait...what?
Him: How can you not like real beer like bud?
Me: Wait... you don't know what ale is????
Him: No, I only drink real beer. Whats ale??
Thats when you say "an Ale is a beer with flavor, you wouldn't like it."

Oh, and x2 for pics of the hot teacher.


Ignorant friend: No I know, I've been to the Guinness brewery. Have you been to the Guinness brewery?
Me: No, but I've been to the empire state building, and that doesn't make me an architect or an expert on how skyscrapers are built
Friends: OHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
EPIC response!
 

jfr1111

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We had people over Saturday. I didn't make a point to announce to everybody that I was brewing, but some did ask to see the beer.

I had my witbier fermenting and people went crazy when the airlock started bubbling (slowly, I must add), wondering if the bucket would split in half and spray them with beer. It was fun as hell to watch.
 

motobrewer

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Someone else asked me how much it would cost them for me to make them a batch... I said "probably $200". After they realized that's like $100 a case, they ask why it's so expensive and I say "because you're asking me to give up a brew day making something I want to make something you want. That don't come cheap. Also, it's illegal so I'd never do it anyway. You're more than welcome to come over and have whatever I've got as a guest, though. :)"
this is an appropriate response from a guy named "MrInternet"
 

Schlenkerla

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Someone else asked me how much it would cost them for me to make them a batch... I said "probably $200". After they realized that's like $100 a case, they ask why it's so expensive and I say "because you're asking me to give up a brew day making something I want to make something you want. That don't come cheap. Also, it's illegal so I'd never do it anyway. You're more than welcome to come over and have whatever I've got as a guest, though. :)"
That's a "no quote" if I have ever heard one.

Making beer for other people is a bad precedence to start. Its a non-profit hobby. Make it to share, or give as a gift, well then its a different story.
 
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