The Official 2011 Masstoberfest Thread

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Apparently someone pissed in their mash tun this morning and then added extra starsan to counter act the off taste...
 
the_bird said:
I haven't, and it's far of a haul for me (2+ hours) for that to be a regular place. There's a place over in Northampton that's been around forever, but the people there have always been a little prickly. I really like Hennessey Homebrew Emporium over in Troy, it's the same guy that has a place in West Boylston and in Cambridge. He's expanded, he sells virtually everything you could imagine, it's all fresh, and the guys who work there are pretty cool. It's just a bit more of a drive (a little more than an hour) than I would prefer, and I don't usually find myself over there for anything else.

The place in Pittsfield was/is pretty new, but he's scaled WAY back on his inventory since I was there last. It was/is convenient (since I'm in Pittsfield two or three days a week, anyway), but the guy who's actually running the store all the time is completely clueless, and now I know I can't count on them to stock ANYTHING I might need.

He was selling the oddest thing, though; he was selling a one-pound bag of tannin. If you were making wine and had to add tannin, how much would you add? A teaspoon, maybe? How many ****ing batches of red wine would you be making before you used a friggin' one-pound bag of pure tannin?

Alright... one more day.
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Aaah. Sorry. Reread your profile and for some reason I thought you were in Athol and not Adams. That's not even have way to west bumf*ck.
 
Opened up Wilbur's overnight accommodations this morning.

"Good morning Wilbur. How did you sleep?

"Terrible. I've got two bay leaves stuck between my teeth, I'm swimming in 5 pounds of chopped garlic and it's freakin' freezing in here."

"Of course it is, you're in a cooler filled with ice."

"I know WHY I'm cold, Paul. That doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Don't fret, I'm sure you'll be much warmer by tonight."
 
yeager1977 said:
How can you say that? Have I ever even met you? Really are you as big of an A$$ as PFTN? Are you sure that the hole in the road wasn't from man love between you and PFTN?
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Bwahahaha

Cape Brewing said:
Yeager, brought to you by Kleenex.
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Bwahaha

yeager1977 said:
FYI Here is the real conversation about the midnight run:

Me: "Hello?"
PFTN: "Hey dic&^ead Friday night get your f-in A$$ over here and help me lift a 50lb pig onto Bertha. Make sure it is midnight, because I want to make sure there is nothing convenient about this favor. You are my only friend who I can try and force to do this"
Me: "Hello? who the heii is this?"
PFTN: "Its me, Pinch Flat, I fell off my bike and I landed on my ankle and can't walk."
Me: "Lose some weight so next time so your legs don't have to try and break the laws of physics to keep you standing"
PFTN: "What ever, just get here at the most inconvenient time I can possibly imagine. I have no other friends."
Me: "Do you ever wonder why that is? Could it be you want them to drive to your house on a Friday night at midnight to left a little 50lb pig? Note this implies enough sobriety to drive the 35 minutes each way, and hello its a Friday night! Gee I wonder why you have no friends."
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I'm sure. :mug:
 
paulthenurse said:
Has any one, anywhere EVER got out of Costco without dropping $250?

I just bought the smallest bundle of toilet paper they sell and I've got enough toilet paper to clean up after a major salmonella outbreak. WTF?
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Did you get us a porta-potta again, or do we get to fill the Koi pond with urine?
 
Porta pottie is on the truck headed this way as we speak.


Word to the wise..

Pissing in the pond will incur the wrath of the lovely Alice. I can tell you, having stepped on my dick on more than one occasion and having said wrath brought down upon my head, you would be much better off using the porta potty.
 
Just bail this guy out of County lockup. He helped kill three guys in Pittsfield a couple weeks back, you could probably hire him to get rid of one more.

caiusveiovismug.jpg
 
paulthenurse said:
Dude, you got the address?

Btw, the dude in that pic looks a lot like Yeager. Beady eyes, Schreck ears sticking out, prison haircut, malformed cranium. It's Yeager!
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Did he ever get the "666" tat, or did he chicken out?

Other details are emerging about him. [Caius] Veiovis' criminal history goes back to at least 1999 when he was arrested by police in Augusta, Maine, after he and his teenage girlfriend allegedly slashed a 16-year-old's back with a razor and drank the girl's blood while they kissed one another, according to a Boston Globe report on the trial in 2000.
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I'm thinking the body modifications may negatively impact his ability to get an impartial jury.
 
Pinch flats (also known as "snakebites" because there are usually two small holes in the tube, as if made by the fangs of a snake) are usually caused by carelessness or riding under-inflated tires. They can also be caused by the use of a tire which is too narrow for the weight it is asked to carry.
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So, I must have missed something about eight pages ago... what the **** did you do, Paulie?
 
I've been inexcusably tardy in throwing a shout out to my good friend Cape. I went for a ride on the Hoveround the other day and had a bit of misfortune . I rode over a bunch of glass and got a flat, then neglected to run my finger around the inside of the tire so when I put in the new tube that I keep in my saddle bag it went flat immediately from the piece of glass still sticking through. I had a patch kit with me but only had one CO2 cartridge, so I was SOL.

Actually I was triple SOL because I was 16 miles from home.

Wearing bike shoes.

And bike shorts.

The tight spandex kind. I'll be the first to admit, it wasn't a pretty sight.


Fortunately I was only a few miles from my BFF Brian's house, and yes, I did call him, and yes he did drive my ass home.

After stopping to go grocery shopping on the way.

So a very big THANK YOU goes out to Cape. He ain't half the ********* he makes himself out to be.
 
paulthenurse said:
I've been inexcusably tardy in throwing a shout out to my good friend Cape. I went for a ride on the Hoveround the other day and had a bit of misfortune . I rode over a bunch of glass and got a flat, then neglected to run my finger around the inside of the tire so when I put in the new tube that I keep in my saddle bag it went flat immediately from the piece of glass still sticking through. I had a patch kit with me but only had one CO2 cartridge, so I was SOL.

Actually I was triple SOL because I was 16 miles from home.

Wearing bike shoes.

And bike shorts.

The tight spandex kind. I'll be the first to admit, it wasn't a pretty sight.


Fortunately I was only a few miles from my BFF Brian's house, and yes, I did call him, and yes he did drive my ass home.

After stopping to go grocery shopping on the way.

So a very big THANK YOU goes out to Cape. He ain't half the ********* he makes himself out to be.
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This is even worse than saying "I'm going down on the cape"
 
Brian,

You DO know you are my BFF, right?

Hell, you're my BIFFL!

Paul and Brian.

We're kind of like Forrest and Jenny. I'm the dimwit who drops my pants to show the President my arse, and you're the drug addled. psychological basket case who seeks personal fulfillment through meaningless sex with guys like that Dude Lebowski.

Wow! I always cry at the end of that movie. Don't die, Brian Don't leave me! I'll be wicked sad.
 
House smells like cacao caliente brownies (there's a mountain of them in my kitchen). Electric cooler chock full of different beers chilling. Bacon, venzin, IPA chili starting later tonight....yep, I think I'm ready for Masstoberfest!
 

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