The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[Brew_Dude41]

Can't have turn of the century beaver songs without this little tale from the punchbowl:
Primus

Edit: Full disclosure this is the first I have ever seen the video (listened to the cd endlessly though). Boy the 90's had some weird videos....

 

[balrog]

Why would you?

Offspring.
3 yr old.
Liked Barney.

Every.


Single.




Day.

(Even went to a live show at the Bushnell. It was just as grating live.)

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Offspring.
3 yr old.
Liked Barney.

Every.


Single.




Day.

(Even went to a live show at the Bushnell. It was just as grating live.)

I would take Barney if it is allowed to run uninterrupted.
My 1 son (the autistic one) will rewind and loop a 10-20 sec section of any given thing displayed on the TV. He may do this 7 times and then let it play on, or loop it for 10 minutes straight, or loop it a few times and then FF 10-30 minutes ahead and loop a new snippet, or better yet jump to some other program completely.
His command of the remote is truly awe inspiring. It also wears the contacts under the button and they stop working.
Pap-pap (my father) learned quickly that we don't try to watch TV with him when he gets locked into these modes- he walked out completely frazzled after 5 min the first time he witnessed it.

 

[Bramling Cross]

As the culprit responsible for this outbreak of beaver fever, I feel it is my responsibility to attempt to end it. Yeah, right.

Anyway...

Dear Bramling Cross,

You are currently boiling some rather expensive ball valves. I would be very grateful if you set a timer so that we don't have another expensive mishap.

Sincerely yours,

B. Cross.

 

[Velnerj]

 

[Agent]

Dear Mini-me,

When you asked "How many tires do we have that aren't on cars?" I figured you had seen the piles and were about to make a smarmy comment about why they are  still here.

Thanks for asking to build an obstacle course instead, and vindicate my procrastination.

Sincerely,
It's On The List

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear on the list,
Get in line..

Sincerely,
(At least) 10 other things...

 

[balrog]

Dear Brain,
The After Yard Work shower was tepid yesterday, and you paid little attention to it.
Why?
Why did you wait until She Who Is In Charge tried to take a cold shower this morning, in order to find the "Lockout" lit on the oil burner?

Why?

Sincerely,
Reset Worked But Why'd The Annually Inspected Thing Lockout Making Me Call The Oil Company

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear guy that decided to bag my groceries in the U-Scan aisle,
I chose the U-Scan aisle so I could quickly and efficiently pack up my 12 items into 3-4 bags. You however had other ideas about that.
The 5lb bag of apples doesn't need another bag, nor does the gallon of milk. It would be helpful though if both packs of bacon could have made it into my bags(all 7 of them), or if I could noticed that there was only 1 pack of bacon in that bag (all by itself). But Noooooo, I saw the single pack of bacon as picked my bags and made the assumption that the other pack was simply under it and that somehow it didn't miss the bag all together and is in-between the the bag holdy-up things...
I mean you work there right? This was not your first time bagging right? You were able to run my license for the 6 pack of Hopslam, but you couldn't get the 2 packs of bacon that came down the belt back to back into the same bag...
Sincerely,
Go away, I got this....

 

[balrog]

Dear guy that decided to bag my groceries in the U-Scan aisle,
I chose the U-Scan aisle so I could quickly and efficiently pack up my 12 items into 3-4 bags. You however had other ideas about that.
The 5lb bag of apples doesn't need another bag, nor does the gallon of milk. It would be helpful though if both packs of bacon could have made it into my bags(all 7 of them), or if I could noticed that there was only 1 pack of bacon in that bag (all by itself). But Noooooo, I saw the single pack of bacon as picked my bags and made the assumption that the other pack was simply under it and that somehow it didn't miss the bag all together and is in-between the the bag holdy-up things...
I mean you work there right? This was not your first time bagging right? You were able to run my license for the 6 pack of Hopslam, but you couldn't get the 2 packs of bacon that came down the belt back to back into the same bag...
Sincerely,
Go away, I got this....

Dear Universe,
Who buys only 2 pkgs of bacon at time?
Sincerely,
Confused

 

[mac_1103]

Who buys only 2 pkgs of bacon at time?

Especially on National Bacon Day.

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear confused,
It was merely to last this morning and give me time to get 15lb box from GFS today.
Sincerely,
We don't mess around with Bacon.

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

Dear bacon buyers,

Why don't you cure and smoke your own? It's better and cheaper. And more fun.

Sincerely,
If you want it done right, do it yourself

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear "If you want it done right, do it yourself",
I can't match the $4/lb that I am paying @gfs to it myself to feed these mini-me's. That being said, I do a few batches of bacon here over the cold months (maple and pepper) both belly and shoulder that I use for cooking more adult meals.
Sincerely,
Wrappin' Scallops in the Good Stuff....
Ps. Smoken' some jerky tomorrow.

 

[Snuffy]

Dear January,

If you think I'm spending your 4 frosty weeks "dry" you are sadly mistaken.

Sincerely,

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear @Snuffy
preaching to the chior my friend.
Sincerely,
2 mimosas from last evenings champagne this morning.

 

[mac_1103]

Dear If you want it done right, do it yourself,

Get back to me when you start raising, slaughtering and butchering your own pigs.

Sincerely,
pork bellies futures market

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

Dear If you want it done right, do it yourself,

Get back to me when you start raising, slaughtering and butchering your own pigs.

Sincerely,
pork bellies futures market

Sadly, my BIL who had a farm with some livestock (pigs for a while, then a few cows) moved and doesn't have a farm any longer. I know it's not "do it yourself" but at least I'd be involved if we could work something out there... But that's closed to me now.

Pretty sure my 1000 sf backyard won't be enough to raise pigs, and I'm guessing where I live isn't zoned for it.

I'm not saying I wouldn't do it myself on that front, but right now I can't.

 

[Snuffy]

Sadly, my BIL who had a farm with some livestock (pigs for a while, then a few cows) moved and doesn't have a farm any longer. I know it's not "do it yourself" but at least I'd be involved if we could work something out there... But that's closed to me now.

Pretty sure my 1000 sf backyard won't be enough to raise pigs, and I'm guessing where I live isn't zoned for it.

I'm not saying I wouldn't do it myself on that front, but right now I can't.

Killing and processing a hog is hard work and a PitA. I'd say it qualifies as DIY if you bought the bacon as a slab and then smoked and carved it.

 

[Broken Crow]

Dear fellow bacon lovers;
Forget the "means/ends" arguments....What counts is having it in your mouth.
Sincerely,
a bacon-hog

 

[Kent88]

Dear @seatazzz

How about a quick check in? Looks like you haven't done so this year.

Sincerely,

 

[seatazzz]

Dear @Kent88 ,

Yep, I'm still around. Been busy with work and other projects, but I'm still brewing. Sorry I haven't been my usual loquacious self but things got in the way. Will try to be more of a bother going forward!!!

Sincerely, it's very nice to be missed.

 

[seatazzz]

*forgive me I'm catching up*

Dear Beaver People,

I too am a big fan of Primus thanks to an ex-boyfriend, who was quite appalled when I thought the title of one of their songs was "My Baby's Butt". How I got that from My Name is Mud is thanks to the pretty darn good green stuff said boyfriend would ply me with from time to time.

Sincerely, been gone too long.

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear Seatazzz,
Welcome back. We see what you are trying to do bringing the beavers up again...
We don't appreciate it, and we are watching you...
Sincerely,
Goats Please Delete.

 

[Kent88]

Nothing wrong with beavers, though.

 

[seatazzz]

Dear @Brew_Dude41 ,

About once I year I re-read that entire thread just for the sheer wonderment of it.

Sincerely, how are there so many goat memes out there

on second thought I really don't want to know

 

[balrog]

on second thought I really don't want to know

No.
We don't.

 

[Agent]

Dear Other Person Making "Zima" for a 90s Themed Brewfest -

Sincerely,
Your Brother in Lack of Self Respect

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Hell Zima was just 25 years too early. With seltzers being all the rage now how would Zima do today. I am sure could crank different flavors as well.

 

[Kent88]

Dear Zima curious/nostalgic,

I saw this recently. Thought I'd share:



Sincerely,

 

[Agent]

Thanks for the video @Kent88 - As usual I attempted to clone something I've never once tasted before. So the fact that it may taste kinda weird and off-putting would tell me I'm on the right track then!

 

[seatazzz]

Dear HBTers who were not of legal (or otherwise) (or maybe not thought of yet) drinking age in the mid-80's,

Maybe I missed it, but I'm sure someone out there has tried to clone wine coolers. Many were the Friday nights me and my gal friend hit up the over-16 dance clubs after pounding 3-4 Bartles & Jaymes (bought for us by her enabling uncle) in the parking lot.

Sincerely, maybe we shouldn't look that up.

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear @seatazzz ,
Grab your favorite 1.5L bottle of Arbor Myst and combine it with a quart of seltzer water in a 1 gal mini keg and carb to your desired level of fizzyness.
Best served in a sorority house next to a batch of jungle juice or harry buffalo.
Sincerely,
Don't do that to yourself.

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

Dear Southern California,

It hasn't rained in ~8 months. I haven't brewed in 4+ years. I finally get my garage and fermentation chamber back to a state in which I can start brewing again, schedule my first brew day back for Sunday, and it's going to be raining ALL day?

Why?

Sincerely,
I didn't leave the Midwest and move here to experience disruptions due to weather

 

[Kent88]

Dear Cali transplant,

We in the midwest are having a great time after a nasty cold snap. The lakes are ice fishing ready now. My Jeep even decided it doesn't want to start anymore until it gets a little work done. My laundry machine noped out and gave me a frozen line error. Some area schools even closed.

Anyways, we'd be happy to have you back.

Sincerely,
The place with the greatest climate on earth

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

Dear Midwesterner,

You should research "Stockholm Syndrome" and contemplate what it means with regards to your relationship with your climate.

Sincerely,
You live someplace WAY too cold, said by someone who lived there long enough to know

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Hbt'ers who live somewhere where there are actual seasons other than Hot as B*llz and Cold Constant Drizzle,

Thbbbbbt.

Sincerely, someone who would like snow more than once every two years. Frickin FLORIDA got snow and all we have is cold wet rain. THBBBBBTTTT.

 

[Kent88]

actual seasons other than Hot as B*llz and Cold Constant Drizzle,

Dear @seatazzz ,

I don't know when these memes were made, but it was probably this decade. Enjoy!

Sincerely,
Living in the most fantastic climate

 

[Agent]

Being able to drive on your favorite lake without being Jesus has its perks.

 

[Agent]

Doubly so when they got the ice race tracks set up.