The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

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Kent88

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Dear fruit trees and berry bushes I planted at my in-laws yard,

You think you could do some more growing? My father in law is getting impatient, talking about mowing you berries off and just giving up on you apples, which might involve a saw. I just gave you all a good hit of fertilizer, please make good use of it.

Sincerely,
A son in law that thought jostaberries would be an amusing gift
 

seatazzz

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Dear @Kent88 ,

Just what the hell are jostaberries?

Sincerely, thought I had a well-rounded knowledge of fruits but am gobsmacked by this one; here in WA we have blackberries, ALL OVER THE PLACE, literally they grow anywhere you don't want them to
 

Kent88

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Dear @Kent88 ,

Just what the hell are jostaberries?

Sincerely, thought I had a well-rounded knowledge of fruits but am gobsmacked by this one; here in WA we have blackberries, ALL OVER THE PLACE, literally they grow anywhere you don't want them to

Dear @seatazzz ,

Jostaberries are a hybrid of gooseberries and currants. They're all in the Ribes family. Currants, of course, are used in mead and sour beer. If you're a fan of the hit BBC show Keeping Up Appearances, you also know that gooseberries are occasionally used in wine.

My idea was to give a few jostaberry plants to my in-laws, have them produce like crazy after a couple years, and giggle when they couldn't find a way to use up all the unfamiliar berries (even though my father in law loves gooseberries).

Currants:
22currants600.1.jpg


Gooseberries:
Gooseberries-Ripening-on-the-Shrub.jpg


Jostaberries:
JOS.jpg


Sincerely,
A son in law who is bad at pranks
 

day_trippr

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I'm 70 yo now and smoked for 53 years averaging a pack and a half a day. Quitting when you don't really want to quit just won't "take" because there isn't much out there more addictive than nicotine. Imo one needs to reach the realization that smoking may actually shorten ones existence in this particular shared Reality. Then quitting is actually easy because you scare TF out of yourself. I went through that two years ago and haven't had a smoke since - don't miss it - even though I really enjoyed it.

So, yes, quitting is a bitch, but it can be done...

Cheers!
 

Dland

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Dear customer who sent me several full pixel phone pictures of weeds in you lawn, I'm thinking about dropping you, and am definitely going to charge an extra hour labor. Sincerely, your landscaper.
 

Kent88

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Dear Chernaya Lisovenko black currant bush in my yard,

You're doing a good job producing berries, to the point where you're almost collapsing from the weight of those berries. I still don't think we'll have enough for wine, and I don't have any sour beer to add berries to. I have no idea what to do with those berries, assuming I get them and they don't all go to the birds.

Sincerely,
A Gardener
 

seatazzz

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Dear Husband of (almost) 17 years,

On this, your last day at your 22-years job, when we had planned to go to our favorite brewpub after work (incidentally run by my mentor who taught me a lot about brewing), and you suddenly decide it would be a better idea to go hang out with your friends (not telling your wife until a bit late), it may behoove you to realize that when you text "you ok?" and you get crickets, yes your wife may be a tad pissed off.

Sincerely, that couch looks awfully comfy, don't it?
 

Kent88

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oh yikes...

Reminds me of a retirement at my wife's last job. Lady worked at the plant, if not since highschool then shortly after graduation. On her last/retirement day her husband rented a limo to pick her up from work and take them to their favorite eating/drinking establishment. It's something I've filed away in my mind for when my wife retires.
 

betarhoalphadelta

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Dear Husband of (almost) 17 years,

On this, your last day at your 22-years job, when we had planned to go to our favorite brewpub after work (incidentally run by my mentor who taught me a lot about brewing), and you suddenly decide it would be a better idea to go hang out with your friends (not telling your wife until a bit late), it may behoove you to realize that when you text "you ok?" and you get crickets, yes your wife may be a tad pissed off.

Sincerely, that couch looks awfully comfy, don't it?

How can a man so stupid survive in the same job for 22 years without being fired for incompetence? 😂
 

bracconiere

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Dear

we all support you!
Sincerly
Then quitting is actually easy


P.S. The More Money 'THEY' get the more telepathic strugles they give you. i know this from experience. used to be easy for me to, just tell myself, i was bored with smoking, tell myself i want a couple years off. and totally plan on starting back up. now i can't even get back on dry snuff :(
 
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