The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

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Kent88

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Dear Amazon,

Having a little trouble tracking shipments lately?

The stuff that showed up yesterday was a day late, and the stuff that showed up today was more than a week early.

Not really bothered by it, just curious.

Sincerely,
Random Customer
 

Brew_Dude41

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Dear roots,
The trees that you previously supported have been cut down and ground into mulch almost 4 years ago. Please stop growing into my sewer line and slowing/stopping the flow of material.

Sincerely,
All of the S#@% trying to get out and backing up into the shower.
 

balrog

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Dear Internet,
Gracias .

" Nutrition researchers in Spain have identified how a small amount of beer may boost your wellbeing in big ways."


Sincerely,
Someone who typically rails against those who find that one study that supports their views, until it supports mine

PS I hate those darned caveats though, " very moderate beer consumption was essential to experiencing the health benefits of beer. In fact, they suggest just one drink per day for women and two for men is the maximum. "
 

Brew_Dude41

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Dear plumbers,
Please stop making excuses why you can't run you drain cleaning tool into my elevated clean out point. It has been done multiple times before and those plumbers survived.
Yes it sucks. Yes, you might get a bit dirty in the process.
Between the number of times I have been involved in cleaning and camering out different drain lines in both my residences and my facilities, I am sure I can operate the snake if you just bring it in the house...
Sincerely,
Still haven't showered or flushed since Saturday. (Oh, and I have 12 gal of wine to rack so that i can clear a carboy so that i can get the 6 gal out of the bucket).
 

Brew_Dude41

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Dear plumbers,
Please understand that I have the utmost respect for you. You do a job that is truly crappy, and it can be compounded by angry and frustrated people that that take it out on you.
That being said, I hate you all.
I have wasted all day yesterday and today waiting for you to perform a task that took less time than it took for me to prepare mac and cheese for my boys. I literally grabbed the box when you walked the machine down, and you were pulling the snake out before I needed to strain the pasta.
Under 7 minutes...
I wish this was an exaggeration but it is not.
Thank you for getting it done, but let's please do something on the efficiency...
Sincerely,
Poopin' now...
 

Kent88

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Dear person who chastised my spouse for mistaking her King Charles Spaniel puppies for Springer Spaniel puppies,

Get over yourself. It was dark, and even in the light they look the same.





Also, you were over your allotment on adorable puppies. There are people in this world who should have adorable puppies but don't, because you are hoarding them.

Sincerely,

My brain that randomly thinks about this every few months.
 

Jhedrick83

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Dear skunks-

while I’m glad to not have coyotes hanging around my camp site this weekend. I’d take them over you. Maybe I should let the coyotes know your here….

Sincerely-
My wife and I.
 

bracconiere

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Dear yeast labs, if i can buy 4lbs of baker's yeast for $20. why the f would you charge me $7 for 11grams, just because it's drug related?

Sincerly, someone looking for an honest yeast peddler....
 

Knightshade

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Dear Vendor,

How about you actually do some work during this "Proof of Value/Concept?" and recognize that the most consistent question out of your mouth is "When do you think you'll be ready to make a decision?" If I can't get the solution to work during the trial, why in the 🤬 would I move forward with purchasing it? I'm providing all the technical information to troubleshoot without any guidance whatsoever for your Senior Sales Engineer, I'm constantly reaching out to you to schedule/reschedule calls so that we can reach resolution on these same technical problems and then you have the gall to state that you feel like there is a disconnect and a lag in communication?

And the documentation that is constantly referred to whenever I bring up a question sucks. If I mention that I've reviewed it and isolate specific sentences, paragraphs, etc., and am requesting clarification, don't refer me back to the same damn flipping URL.

Sincerely,
Person beyond irritated w/salespeople who are probably wondering if they'll be able to pay off their <insert luxury car> with my hopeful purchase.
 

betarhoalphadelta

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Dear Vendor,

How about you actually do some work during this "Proof of Value/Concept?" and recognize that the most consistent question out of your mouth is "When do you think you'll be ready to make a decision?" If I can't get the solution to work during the trial, why in the 🤬 would I move forward with purchasing it? I'm providing all the technical information to troubleshoot without any guidance whatsoever for your Senior Sales Engineer, I'm constantly reaching out to you to schedule/reschedule calls so that we can reach resolution on these same technical problems and then you have the gall to state that you feel like there is a disconnect and a lag in communication?

And the documentation that is constantly referred to whenever I bring up a question sucks. If I mention that I've reviewed it and isolate specific sentences, paragraphs, etc., and am requesting clarification, don't refer me back to the same damn flipping URL.

Sincerely,
Person beyond irritated w/salespeople who are probably wondering if they'll be able to pay off their <insert luxury car> with my hopeful purchase.
LOL... This is when your vendor needs a damn good Field Application Engineer. And I am a DAMN good one.

But three months ago I went over to the dark side (technical marketing), so I can't help ya ;-)
 

Dland

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Dear hacking cough that's keeping my young daughter (and I) awake every night for the past 10 nights,

🤬 off!

Sincerely,
Tired dad.
My recently turned adult daughter had long lasting hacking coughs whenever she got sick, all through childhood. The family doc did not do much about it, unless progressed to secondary infection, said it was sort of normal.

When she went to University and was covered and being seen in their medical facility, she was diagnosed w some kind respiratory infection induced bronchitis, prescribed an an inhaler and some other stuff for the first time, and her chronic post cold cough went away. She gets sleep & gets better way faster now she has access to this occasional prescription. Turns out it would have helped her out years ago.

Am by no means an expert, but might be worth looking into. Good luck & I hope you all get some sleep.
 

Knightshade

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LOL... This is when your vendor needs a damn good Field Application Engineer. And I am a DAMN good one.

But three months ago I went over to the dark side (technical marketing), so I can't help ya ;-)
I’ve worked next to, with and on a couple of occasions for ISEs so I can sniff out quality fairly quick. I should have known this one wasn’t going to go so well, but the price of the tech is right, so I had to (and currently still sluffing through it) make sure I wasn’t being biased.

If it takes this much time to vet a POC, my faith in the post sales support isn’t very high.
 

Knightshade

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Dear Floating Dip Tube,

Why…in the 🤬 do you insist on sticking to the side of or otherwise not cooperating in my damn keg or fermenter and spit out just enough liquid (bubbles) to give me hope you’re not a complete loss but you really are…all while just wasting CO2?

I know you visualize and laugh at the wasted $ out of my pocket, not to mention your contribution to greenhouse emissions as I’m 😤🤯😡🤬🤬🤬

Seriously…WT💩
 

bracconiere

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When was the last time you saw any innovation in baker's yeast?
Dear, knightshade,

what the 🤬 did they do to nottingham to make it worth 460% more? besides think, it's drugs, they'll pay anything?

Sincerely,

person still wishing for honesty, even in drug land.....
 

Brew_Dude41

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Dear Floating Dip Tube,

Why…in the 🤬 do you insist on sticking to the side of or otherwise not cooperating in my damn keg or fermenter and spit out just enough liquid (bubbles) to give me hope you’re not a complete loss but you really are…all while just wasting CO2?

I know you visualize and laugh at the wasted $ out of my pocket, not to mention your contribution to greenhouse emissions as I’m 😤🤯😡🤬🤬🤬

Seriously…WT💩
I added a SS washer to the ring that holds the float to the tube.
Seemed to fix it for me.
 

seatazzz

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Sorry guys this is a sad one.

Dear beloved dog of ours for 15+ years,

Your rapidly declining health over the last month has forced us to make the incredibly hard decision of helping you cross the rainbow bridge tomorrow night. Tonight is yours; skritches, treats, and just sitting and being with you. And reliving the incredible 15 years you have delighted our lives. Our golden girl, our half-sized labracorgi, our ever-vigilant watchdog. You've outlived four cats, and were an excellent older sister to our 10 year old labbapit who will be devastated when we walk through the door tomorrow night without you. Through our tears we will be seeing you racing through the yard as of old, and coming up to us with those quirky corgi ears over a perpetually smiling lab face. When we, too, leave this mortal coil, I know you will be waiting for us. We love you forever, Sasha.

Sincerely, two humans who love their pets as family, are bawling like babies right now, and will mourn for a good while. All our kids are shelter pets and another one will be joining us in a week or two to help the younger dog get over her loss, and ours as well, we hope.
 

Kent88

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Dear Grieving Doggo Lover,

You have my sympathy. May your labbapit be a source of comfort to you in these times, and may your next trip to the shelter be the beginning of a lovely friendship. While a new dog can never replace a lost friend, it is still an opportunity to form new bonds and have new adventures.

Sincerely,
Someone who likes to drop in on the Dogs thread once in a while.
 

seatazzz

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Dear Seriously Overpitched WF Lager from last week,

Yes I know I said I was going to get you off the yeast on Wednesday, but we had other unexpected things to deal with that trumped you. Please please please don't be redolent of autolysed yeast flavors when I finally go to keg you tonight.

Sincerely, grieving doggo lover who is still grieving but happy that remaining doggo is coping well with her loss....also moderately pleased that husband went to Kelso for the weekend leaving me alone with my brewery and other projects to keep me busy.
 

Kent88

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Dear grieving doggo lover,

Have you been able to bring yourself to go to the shelter and look for a new friend?

Sincerely,
Just wondering how you're doing. Not trying to be rude, I know you're going through a rough time.
 

seatazzz

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Dear grieving doggo lover,

Have you been able to bring yourself to go to the shelter and look for a new friend?

Sincerely,
Just wondering how you're doing. Not trying to be rude, I know you're going through a rough time.
Yep, see below.

Dear beloved bereaved doggo that was devastated when your older sister crossed the bridge a week or so ago,

We understand that you are not thrilled about sharing your space with new doggo that came home on Friday; yes she is very young, very hyper, but all she wants to do is play with you. And maybe chase the cats that are well aware of dogs and the shenanigans they can get up to. But let's try to be nice; mamma has the next 2 weeks off to help you both get acclimated to your new situations. And has dedicated all that time to making sure we have a smooth transition to said situation. And as a side note:

Dear wonderful husband who tends to immediately decide that things are going to be horrible if one tiny thing goes wrong:

Let me deal with this. I got it. Go play golf or something, and let me handle it. It will all be fine.

Sincerely,

Pet mama who has been through this rodeo before, and no damaged/injured pets; also knows that wonderful husband needs to go do his own thing and let me deal with it. Kinda like working on cars or other repair projects that I have taken on; if he gets his nose in there we have issues.
 

seatazzz

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Dear Kent88,

Here you go. Not a great photo as she is in her crate. When she's out of it photos are not possible as she has a LOT of energy and runs the length of the house and back, trying to entice us to chase her. She's a mix of Pitbull and German Shepherd; looks mostly Pit but has HUGE GS ears that are adorable when she perks them up. She's the black one. The other photo is our original girl who is a yellow lab/rednose pit cross.

We don't have a big yard but it's big enough for the two of them to have space to play, go potty, and have enough space to not be crowded. Lack of a large yard doesn't have to be a dealbreaker when considering adopting a dog, even one who needs lots of exercise; that's what walks are for!

20211024_170927[1].jpg20201211_175854[1].jpg

Sincerely,

Proud doggo mamma whose kids are all mostly shelter pets
 

Kent88

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Dear doggo momma,

Thank you for sharing the pictures! I hope new doggo's transition is smooth.

My spouse also believes that we could have a doggo in our space. I'm a farm kid, all our doggos were outside dogs, and they all had a big yard to play in. These days I think people are denied pets from shelters if they mention that they'll be outside only pets.

I want a Husky someday to pull my sled full of ice fishing gear, and in the summer pull me on a bike (bikejoring). I think they need a lot of space to get all that energy out.

Sincerely,
Future doggo owner
 

seatazzz

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Last one with the doggos for a while, I promise...

Dear two beautiful happy doggos,

Thank you for proving me right.

Sincerely, pleased as punch doggo mamma who now has two happy dogs getting along very nicely, to the point that they are playing with the same ball; took a nice nap with me this afternoon all on the same bed; and allowing me to say a few modest "I told you sos" to wonderful husband who thought it was all for naught. There are still a few issues to work out, such as older dog insists on going through the door first whether it be in or out, and gets a bit obstreperous at young whippersnapper pushing ahead of her, but for the most part we're doing great.
 
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