Orangevango
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Is it strange that my girlfriend confronted me about watching porn and wants me to stop?
So is it weird that my girlfriend...
- Thread starter Orangevango
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barroomhero1234
Well-Known Member
Did you ask her to stop her menstrual period yet?
ChshreCat
Well-Known Member
My wife asked me why I had to watch porn. I pulled up my nastiest, freakiest video I had and said "You wanna do this for me then?".
She has no problems with me watching porn now.
She has no problems with me watching porn now.
No. It's weird that she doesn't want to watch with you.
Clayton
Well-Known Member
well some women , feel insucure if there men watch porn because thay think that the women in porn are more desirable and think you will want them less of you are looking at porn, that or that fell like you are qusi cheating becase you are getting turned on buy someone other than her, that does not make it so that just how some women think.
but why does she know you look at porn?
i would tell her you will stop but you are going to need to hit it like 8 ~ 10 times a week.
when i had a girl friend i did not really look at porn , that came later
when she was my wife
but why does she know you look at porn?
i would tell her you will stop but you are going to need to hit it like 8 ~ 10 times a week.
when i had a girl friend i did not really look at porn , that came later
when she was my wife
Fingers
Well-Known Member
Ask her if she's volunteering to be a surrogate. Mention that in order to drop the porn completely she might have to get used to sticking to the furniture.
You can't change people. Tell her that. She is in a relationship with a man who likes porn. She can accept it or not.
The ball is in your court: Either give it up for her, or do not. If you decide to stay with your porn, tell her straight up that this is the person you are.
Otherwise maybe a compromise is in order no porn = her putting out.
Chances are she may feel awkward that you have a higher desire than her, and this makes HER feel out of place. She may think she isn't 'normal' because you want way more than she does.
Sit down and talk to her about it.
As well, keep it extremely private. This is how these sort of things should be anyways. I see a lot of people way to open about this sort of thing, when it's meant to be between two people.
You two talk about it, and keep it between you two.
She could even feel you are too open about it, and she may think you are 'sloppy or a pig'. Maybe you left something laying around? You shouldn't do that if ya did.
I'm throwing some things out there!
Communication is the key!
The ball is in your court: Either give it up for her, or do not. If you decide to stay with your porn, tell her straight up that this is the person you are.
Otherwise maybe a compromise is in order no porn = her putting out.
Chances are she may feel awkward that you have a higher desire than her, and this makes HER feel out of place. She may think she isn't 'normal' because you want way more than she does.
Sit down and talk to her about it.
As well, keep it extremely private. This is how these sort of things should be anyways. I see a lot of people way to open about this sort of thing, when it's meant to be between two people.
You two talk about it, and keep it between you two.
She could even feel you are too open about it, and she may think you are 'sloppy or a pig'. Maybe you left something laying around? You shouldn't do that if ya did.
I'm throwing some things out there!
Communication is the key!
Did she tell you why?
That's the strange bit if she didn't feel the need to tell you.
That's the strange bit if she didn't feel the need to tell you.
EvilTOJ
Well-Known Member
Yes, it is weird. Unless you're watching something like what Laughing_Gnome would watch, i.e. hermaphroditic albino Jew clown porn. Then yea, you may want to to cut down.
phissionkorps
Well-Known Member
Talk to her about it, but if she gets mad....though it's rare around here, be a man and tell her to STFU. Too much "oh my "swmbo" (as much as I ABHOR that term) doesn't like the fact I spent $10 of my f*****g money on a bucket this MONTH that I'll never need to buy again" around these parts. Watching porn has nothing to do with you being a certain "kind" of person. You're a man, so naturally you like porn. S**t, gay dudes love porn as much as straight dudes do, just a different "flavor" of porn. Some of these posts make it out like you need to cater to her for the fact you have a natural desire...and that you're breaking some rule or law or something by liking porn. Whether she is fulfilling it or not depends on how much porn you're watching. I like how people are saying tell her you need to hit it "8-10x a week". Is it just me, or is that ridiculously low? I don't care if you're 65, if you're hitting it less than that, either you're not doing it for her, or she's not doing it for you....
Laughing_Gnome_Invisible
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Dress her like an hermaphroditic albino Jew clown and spank her butt with a herring. Video the event and post it here please.
Zymurgrafi
Well-Known Member
Okay, putting on my flame-retardant suit...
To play the devils advocate here. Just stating another point of view out there and then shutting my mouth. Many women view porn as degrading. They see it as disrespectful to women. Largely because the VAST majority of porn (hardcore) is of women and depicts acts that if you think about it are meant to humiliate and show control on the man's part. Some even depict a certain amount of violence and abuse. Regardless of whether or not it is acting it is the principle of it. Women can reasonably argue that that is how men (who view porn) feel women should be treated. Men might argue that it is merely fantasy and the participants are willing so it is okay, but it is a fuzzy line. Even porn that is merely nudity i.e. softcore is objectional to many because it is viewed as objectification. The idea that it portrays women as just pieces of meat to be bought and sold and owned. Again a control issue.
I am not here to debate this, that is for another forum. Just pointing out another side of the argument.
To the OP, there is no way of knowing how your girlfriend actually views it unless she tells you (you ask her) but this may be something to ponder.
Okay, flame away
To play the devils advocate here. Just stating another point of view out there and then shutting my mouth. Many women view porn as degrading. They see it as disrespectful to women. Largely because the VAST majority of porn (hardcore) is of women and depicts acts that if you think about it are meant to humiliate and show control on the man's part. Some even depict a certain amount of violence and abuse. Regardless of whether or not it is acting it is the principle of it. Women can reasonably argue that that is how men (who view porn) feel women should be treated. Men might argue that it is merely fantasy and the participants are willing so it is okay, but it is a fuzzy line. Even porn that is merely nudity i.e. softcore is objectional to many because it is viewed as objectification. The idea that it portrays women as just pieces of meat to be bought and sold and owned. Again a control issue.
I am not here to debate this, that is for another forum. Just pointing out another side of the argument.
To the OP, there is no way of knowing how your girlfriend actually views it unless she tells you (you ask her) but this may be something to ponder.
Okay, flame away
dasein668
Well-Known Member
No flames required there, imo. You're definitely right that some people view porn in that way.
That's why the communication part is key. Talk to your partner about it and figure out where everyone stands and what their feelings are. Its alot easier to do that than to guess about why the s.o. is upset.
That's why the communication part is key. Talk to your partner about it and figure out where everyone stands and what their feelings are. Its alot easier to do that than to guess about why the s.o. is upset.
Laughing_Gnome_Invisible
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Agreed to both the above posts. That makes perfect sense.....After you've talked to her, dress her like an hermaphroditic albino Jew clown and spank her butt with a herring. Video the event and post it here please.
EvilTOJ
Well-Known Member
That's just disgusting, gnome. Really, a herring? That's just, ew. Whatever happend to the benign and gentle Gnome, the one who would threaten to tickle scrotums?
DrunkTrucker
Well-Known Member
I've got the answer. Pause and toss. You look for movies that are totally normal everyday movies but have killer sex scenes in them. It is not quite watching porn but you get the job done. This radio station here in Phoenix came up with the idea a while back cause a guy called up the same problem. It's an idea if talking to her about porn doesnt pan out.
Bernie Brewer
Grouchy Old Fart
Your girlfriend wants you to stop. Do you love her??
THEN STOP!!!!!!
Pornography cost me my marriage. A marriage that I wanted to keep. Now it's gone and I am miserable.
If you want to keep her, stop. If you find you can't stop, you are hooked- get help.
THEN STOP!!!!!!
Pornography cost me my marriage. A marriage that I wanted to keep. Now it's gone and I am miserable.
If you want to keep her, stop. If you find you can't stop, you are hooked- get help.
Wow, didn't know that Bernie. That sucks.
My wife *hated* porn for a while after the_Bean was born, but now can tolerate it (very rarely watches PORN with me, but we'll watch stuff like Real Sex together).
Some porn is more "women-friendly" than others, and the stuff that's actually produced for the female market tends to be quite a bit hotter, IMHO (a little less... plastic). There's PORN and then there's stuff which is more erotica. Violet Blue (*not* the porn star, the person who got in the cat fight with BoingBoing) has some pretty hot stuff out there, she's very much a pro-sex feminist.
She also may just be insecure, you need to talk to her about this.
My wife *hated* porn for a while after the_Bean was born, but now can tolerate it (very rarely watches PORN with me, but we'll watch stuff like Real Sex together).
Some porn is more "women-friendly" than others, and the stuff that's actually produced for the female market tends to be quite a bit hotter, IMHO (a little less... plastic). There's PORN and then there's stuff which is more erotica. Violet Blue (*not* the porn star, the person who got in the cat fight with BoingBoing) has some pretty hot stuff out there, she's very much a pro-sex feminist.
She also may just be insecure, you need to talk to her about this.
I don't know why some women (or sometimes I think a lot of them) view porn as something "bad" but I think the poster who talked about how women can feel about it is on the right track.
I happen to like porn, and watch it with my spouse. Never alone, though. I enjoy it leading up to sex and during sex.
I also think that some men who watch porn can be into it in an addictive way, if that makes sense. That would make women feel like you don't want the "real" woman, but instead the fantasy women. I think anything people do that become compulsive (work too much, drink too much, etc) can interfere wtih relationships.
I guess the best answer was given by Bernier- if the relationship is more important to you than watching the porn, that is what you need to recognize. Ask her why it bothers her (to see if she feels that you're addicted to it, or just if it bothers her in general), then stop if it makes her uncomfortable.
I happen to like porn, and watch it with my spouse. Never alone, though. I enjoy it leading up to sex and during sex.
I also think that some men who watch porn can be into it in an addictive way, if that makes sense. That would make women feel like you don't want the "real" woman, but instead the fantasy women. I think anything people do that become compulsive (work too much, drink too much, etc) can interfere wtih relationships.
I guess the best answer was given by Bernier- if the relationship is more important to you than watching the porn, that is what you need to recognize. Ask her why it bothers her (to see if she feels that you're addicted to it, or just if it bothers her in general), then stop if it makes her uncomfortable.
Baja_Brewer
Well-Known Member
My girlfriend doesnt mind that I watch porn, at all. As a matter of fact her, my friends, and I have plenty of discussions surrounding the topic of porn (It could be also be an age factor.)
There are many of reasons that Ive been told that women dont like porn, insecurity, inadequacy, etc. But I know very few that are completely 100% set against it.
Im sure you can work something out.
There are many of reasons that Ive been told that women dont like porn, insecurity, inadequacy, etc. But I know very few that are completely 100% set against it.
Im sure you can work something out.
ChshreCat
Well-Known Member
My wife'll actually watch with me now and then. So long as it's not too freaky, the boobs are natural and the lesbian scenes are somewhat realistic.
Clayton
Well-Known Member
Orangevango
has not been back let this thread die
unless we just like to hear areselves
has not been back let this thread die
unless we just like to hear areselves
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