So I got this friend ...

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chefchris

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Alright, I have this friend that has turned out to be the "intellectual" type. He talks smart and goes into great detail, but with no substance. In other words he usually doesn't know what he's talking about.

He likes beer just like I do. So when I started homebrewing he got excited and wanted to help out. So he helped me bottle my first batch. He sanitized the bottles while I filled. He has been with me on one other batch and he pretty much just sat there. Had no interest of what was going on or why I was doing certain things. Just keeping me company. Which is fine. BUT ... any time he refers to MY beer it's OUR beer. WTF?! Called me the other night because he was out shopping for some new glasses to try OUR beer in and was asking for my opinion. I told him my opinion was that I had plenty of beer glasses.

I had planned on trying my first homebrew today. However I could not wait any longer and just had to try one 2 days short of the target date. It was awesome btw. So he calls me later that night and asks if we're still on for OUR first taste on Friday. I said "Well, I actually had one earlier tonight. I just couldn't wait." He calls me an *******.

Couple of weeks ago I mention that I would love to start kegging cause bottling's a PITA. He said, "Well, you gotta think about this. If WE start kegging I won't have a way to take some beer to my friends. I'd really like them to try it."

That's right, he wants to take MY beer to his friends who live an hour away and who I don't even know. :mad:

He always comes in and grabs my good beer out of the fridge. I loooove Young's Double Chocolate. We cannot get it here in Mississippi. I had to pick this stuff up in Florida a couple months back. Bought all I could find, which was not much. Think I only ended up with 6 bottles. He's helped himself to about half of that. His girlfiend even quietly said to him, "You're gonna drink all his Young's". He quickly replied, "Nah, he's got plenty of it."

Couple months back I split a Yeti Imperial Stout with him. I loved it. Before I knew what was happening he got up and poured his almost full glass down the sink. I should have throwed him out.

The main thing that pisses me off about this guy is that he tries to take credit for MY beer. He tells all his friends and coworkers that he brews. It gets me almost fighting mad everytime I start talking about it.

He'll be over tonight or tomorrow to try MY beer. He's gonna ask for a couple to take to his friends. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to say. I don't want there to be tension, but I don't feel like passing out free beer to strangers. I put in a lot of time and work into these brews and I'll be damned if some jerk off is gonna snatch it and impress his friends with it. I am not stingy. I'm heading up next week with a lot of beer to take to some friends for all of us to enjoy, he will not be going.

This was a really long rant.
 

DrinksWellWithOthers

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He sounds like a scavenger.. Pee in some bottles, cap them and throw them in the fridge before he shows up. Put them in a separate six pack, box, whatever and tell him you selected the best ones just for him. :D

On a serious note, you need to set him straight - especially if he's your friend and you plan to continue hanging out with him. I don't see him realizing the errors of his ways on his own. Oh yeah, and he needs to know that just because he bottles doesn't mean he BREWS it.
 

TwoHeadsBrewing

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Question: Who owns the equipment, and who buys the materials to make the beer? If it's you, it's YOUR beer and you are the Brewmeister! He's just the Assistant Brewer. Maybe you can get him fake business card with his title on it, just so he knows his place :D. I'd encourage him to buy his own ingredients and then you help him brew. That way, if he wants to bottle it you can tell him to "have fun bottling!", and he can take "his" beer home.

I wish I had a friend as stoked about brewing as I am, but this guy seems a bit over the top. Maybe you can get him excited about getting his own equipment, and you guys can do a group brew day. Make 2 batches of beer, and share it all later! :drunk::mug:
 
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I have a friend that is very blunt and direct. If he were in your shoes...and that guy wanted to "Take some" ...he's just say "No. It's my beer, I paid for it, I brewed it, and I'm not really interrested in having YOUR friends drink it for me." Everyone knows that he's just being honest, and I'v never met anyone that didn't like him. You knwo he's not going to bull**** you, and you know how he thinks.


Me on the other hand...I'd print that ****** award that Evan! made, and give it to him just before asking him to go on a beer run and not come back till he found some more of that chocolate beer.
 

dubge

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Tell him before he takes the beers you need money for supplies for OUR next batch, then let him pay for the supplies and you do the work, to me that would be acceptable or hide all the bottles and tell him you dumped them or dropped and broke them
 

TwoHeadsBrewing

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I have a friend that is very blunt and direct. If he were in your shoes...and that guy wanted to "Take some" ...he's just say "No. It's my beer, I paid for it, I brewed it, and I'm not really interrested in having YOUR friends drink it for me." Everyone knows that he's just being honest, and I'v never met anyone that didn't like him. You knwo he's not going to bull**** you, and you know how he thinks.


Me on the other hand...I'd print that ****** award that Evan! made, and give it to him just before asking him to go on a beer run and not come back till he found some more of that chocolate beer.
+1. I've got a friend like this too, and although he's a bit over the top sometimes you know he's always being honest...to the point of being a major dickwad. No tact, no pulled punches, but at least you it's genuine.
 
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Question: Who owns the equipment, and who buys the materials to make the beer? If it's you, it's YOUR beer and you are the Brewmeister! He's just the Assistant Brewer. Maybe you can get him fake business card with his title on it, just so he knows his place :D. I'd encourage him to buy his own ingredients and then you help him brew. That way, if he wants to bottle it you can tell him to "have fun bottling!", and he can take "his" beer home.

I wish I had a friend as stoked about brewing as I am, but this guy seems a bit over the top. Maybe you can get him excited about getting his own equipment, and you guys can do a group brew day. Make 2 batches of beer, and share it all later! :drunk::mug:
In the eight short months I've been brewing, I got two friends involved. Both in the neighborhood. One of them referred to a beer he watched me brew as "our beer." He has received exactly three bottles of our beer. Now he has his own.

Of course, he borrows some of my equipment. In return, he helps me with fix-its around the house. Maybe a little tit-for-tat is in order if he countinues to scavenge off you.
 

EvilTOJ

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As an Internet Tough Guy, I recommend you punch him in the junk until he pees blood. And play Sir Mix-A-Lot. That'll learn him.

To me it sounds like he found himself a beer patsy, and it's you. You need to seriously tell him to stop touching YOUR beer (watching doesn't count, if it did I'd have banged many porn stars by now) and abusing the privilege of him drinking it. Same with your hard to find beers. I can't believe the gall of taking hard to find ones and just pouring it down the sink!
 

fratermus

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Alright, I have this friend that has turned out to be the "intellectual" type. He talks smart and goes into great detail, but with no substance. In other words he usually doesn't know what he's talking about.
I think he's more of the 'jerk' or 'dickhead' type.
 

ScubaSteve

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You're putting a lot of energy into this rant, when you should've addressed it with him up front. Now, you've got to poison him. It's the only way.
 

Coastarine

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By letting him refer to it as "our" beer so many times without saying anything you verified him.

By the way, I also have a problem with you kegging our beer. I haven't gotten a single bottle of it yet. WTF?
 

Boerderij_Kabouter

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Just be honest with him. If he didn't pay for anything, it is not his beer. Tell him, if he wants to get into brewing and split or make a batch of his own you can help him with that. No normal person would be pissed about that. As far as the commercial beer goes, people like that really piss me off. Find some way to make him stop, otherwise it WILL ruin your friendship.
 

Arneba28

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Well your kind of screwed now, you never corrected him when he said "our beer", you let him drink all your good beer( youngs is good stuff) and he dumped a hard to find. Your only option now is to kill him obviously, Poison his beer, throw him in the basement where he can slowly die, then, get the reciprocating saw out

ps. Remember to buy thick plastic.












Sorry, odd mood today
 

dubge

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Well your kind of screwed now, you never corrected him when he said "our beer", you let him drink all your good beer( youngs is good stuff) and he dumped a hard to find. Your only option now is to kill him obviously, Poison his beer, throw him in the basement where he can slowly die, then, get the reciprocating saw out

ps. Remember to buy thick plastic.
Sorry, odd mood today
no no no, you need to roll him up in a large rug and duct tape the ends and throw it in a garbage truck
 

eschatz

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I say pull his still beating heart out of his chest Indiana Jones style (KALI MAAAA!!) Then show it to him before you put it down the garbage disposal. Eye for an eye, heart for a heart. Dont mess with the Yeti you fool! and dont foul with MY homebrew! :mug:
 

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible

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I say pull his still beating heart out of his chest Indiana Jones style (KALI MAAAA!!) Then show it to him before you put it down the garbage disposal. Eye for an eye, heart for a heart. Dont mess with the Yeti you fool! and dont foul with MY homebrew! :mug:
I've clogged so many waste disposals that way. :(
 

EvilTOJ

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ps. Remember to buy thick plastic.

+1 on this. A typical rookie mistake is to use those 1 mm painting plastic rolls. It's way too thin for applications like this, it really should be 4 mm or thicker. 1 mm tears easily and catches on the corpse's clothing, making it even more of a mess.




What?
 

Homercidal

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Ask him to buy ingredients for the next batch. If he hesitates, then remind him that there is a cost associated with brewing and he should participate, one way or another. Then, come brew day, MAKE him help. Otherwise he's just another critter on the farm, trying to eat Henny Penny's bread.

As for the commercial beer drinking. That is just RUDE! Who pours beer down the drain? If I tried a beer I didn't like, I'd still choke that stuff down. (Except that nasty reaspberry lambic I had at the beer festival. I still choked down that small 3oz glass, but I nearly puked at the end.)
 

EdWort

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Ask him to buy ingredients for the next batch. If he hesitates, then remind him that there is a cost associated with brewing and he should participate, one way or another. Then, come brew day, MAKE him help. Otherwise he's just another critter on the farm, trying to eat Henny Penny's bread.

As for the commercial beer drinking. That is just RUDE! Who pours beer down the drain? If I tried a beer I didn't like, I'd still choke that stuff down. (Except that nasty reaspberry lambic I had at the beer festival. I still choked down that small 3oz glass, but I nearly puked at the end.)
Don't forget the propane. Hand him an empty tank and send him on his way to get it filled or swapped out. That takes time & money too.
 

Brew-Happy

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I was in the same position as him, in that I was mentored on my first batch. I paid half of the ingredients, shipping, and added a little for some tubing he wanted. I helped brew. Now, MY beer is half of the bottles that came of the brewing. The other half is his.

Given his protests, I would seriously consider kegging. The inconvenience to him might force him away or to brew his own. OR he could be around a A LOT more sucking off your tap.

Serious conversation is needed to define MINE & YOURS.
 

FatMonsters

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+1 for not telling him the next time you brew.

The other thing you could do would be the next time you are drinking the 'our' beer with other people, make sure he fields all of the questions. That way he can see what goes into it or everyone else can see what little he knows and how little he helps.

My friend has helped me brew a few times and he has picked up some things so that he can talk about it.
 

Chriso

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Who the F*** dumps Yeti? Seriously. It's polite to at least OFFER YOUR GLASS TO THE OTHER PERSON if you don't like it.

Dude doesn't respect the grains, I say he doesn't drinks the grains.

Also +1 to kicking him in the nads.

And +10 to buying a 12pack of **** beer in brown bottles. Soak and remove the labels, put 'em into a different 6pack shell, and call it homebrew JUST for him.

Your friend is not a friend. He's a dickhead. I should know, I have dickheads around, too.
 

BuffaloSabresBrewer

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Man I have a friend that sometimes brews with me. He knows a bit a about brewing but he knows hes the assistant. But I wouldn't get mad if he called it our beer, which he doesn't. Thats because I put him to work when hes around. You better believe hes washing, rinsing and sanitizing if hes around!
But I do give him a solid cock punch every once and awhile to keep him in line.
 

Chriso

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The main thing that pisses me off about this guy is that he tries to take credit for MY beer. He tells all his friends and coworkers that he brews. It gets me almost fighting mad everytime I start talking about it.
I keep reading and re-reading this, just because your "friend" has got me so irritated. And the passage above is one of the worst parts, in my opinion, of what's going on. What kind of a *****enozzle takes credit for their friend's beer that they didn't even help to brew? I mean, if he had ground the grain for you, watched/asked questions during mash and sparge, maybe even helped coil up the garden hoses / pitch the yeast, then sure, we're talking about some borderline territory. But like you said, he's just keeping company. And he's not even pitching in $$ to the tip jar.

I say his ass goes to the curb, or at LEAST, install a lock on the beer fridge. This "direct approach" worked well for me in the past.

On an unrelated note, ChefChris, when you gonna ship me some of OUR beer? I mean, we have the same name, so CLEARLY that beer belongs to both of us! C'mon, I want my share of it! ;)
 

Special Hops

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Tell him to buy ingredients and then to come over and you would help him brew brew. Then when it's done you drink half of his beer.
 

Freezeblade

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I don't think *****enozzle is a Strong enough word to describe this guy's *****yness, I propose to call him a *****ehydrant or possibly a *****epile

oh, and +1 on not telling him when next brew day is, and hiding your good beer.
 
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I was hoping to see some resolution to this in the 4 pages of posts. You didn't wuss out and let him take YOUR beer to his friends did you?
 

lucky2balive

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I had a friend that would come over and drink all of my beer, expensive or not. Actually, it is one of my wife's friends. I put a chain and lock on the beer fridge doors in the garage. He asked: "are you trying to tell me something?" I said, "Yes, buy your own beer. This is mine." He hasn't asked for a beer since. Be direct, this dickwad needs to know he doesn't brew and he doesn't have rights to what's not his.
 

Chriso

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I was hoping to see some resolution to this in the 4 pages of posts. You didn't wuss out and let him take YOUR beer to his friends did you?
+1 !

Did he fall into a black hole?

Or perhaps contract syphilis of the beer?

Or did his *****enozzle spontaneously combust?

(I'm feeling nonsensical today, and am oh so happy to start working on the 1st beer of the eve after a rotten day at work. Sorry.)
 
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