Smoking cessation advice?

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McCall St. Brewer

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SWMBO was a 2 pack a day smoker for over 20 years until she quit a little over 6 months ago.

The thing is, though, that the last 6 months have been hell for both of us. I am almost to the point where I want to tell her to just go back to smoking.

The problem is that she doesn't see any advantages to having quit. In fact, every day she complains and tells me that she will hate me for the rest of her life for encouraging her to stay quit. Unfortunately, I think she may have quit for the wrong reasons (the main one being that her 13 year old son had started to smoke. When she would tell him not to, he would throw it up in her face that she was a smoker. Now that she has stopped he has only smoked a few times that we know of). I don't think she really stopped for herself.

She glosses over the fact that until she quit she was plagued by frequent severe and sometimes even migraine headaches that would last for days and would not respond to anything other than injections of expensive prescription medication. Now those headaches are virtually gone. Our house smells much better, but she doesn't appreciate that.

She gained about 10 lbs. and complains about that every day. She claims she cannot breathe any better and that she hasn't noticed any improvement in the taste of her food or her sense of smell. Her gums have started bleeding when she brushes her teeth. (My dental hygenist sister-in-law says this is fairly common after quitting).

I noticed almost immediately after she stopped that my sense of smell improved dramatically. I can breathe better and can sleep more soundly now.

Anyone have any advice for her on how to stay quit? It seems as though there is lots of stuff out there on preparing to quit, but not enough on how to stick with it. I thought that by now it should have been getting easier, but she says it is still almost as hard as it was in the beginning.
 

JnJ

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I was a 2 pack a day smoker when I finally quit 12 years ago. I tried and failed may times before that. She has to want to quit. The thing that helped the most was supportive wife, not bitching as she did in earlier attempts. Yours and your sons health (secondhand smoke) doesn't concern her?..............
 

Gnome

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When my ol Lady got preg we went to a hypnotist it worked for me(3 Years now). The thing that got me was he said that every time I got a craving to remember back to a time before I smoked and how it felt to take a big inhale of clean air( any left in US) So I remembered the cool crisp mornings in Michigan when I was a kid, take a breath and remember clean fresh air. It's still working for me. It takes a while for the changes to come But they do, I feel it gets easier day by day. Hang in there Little Kitty.
 

Kevin Dean

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I quit smoking about a year ago, from 2 packs a day to nothing, cold turkey. I also did some substance abuse training back in college as part of my social work routine and I'll say this:

Until someone WANTS to quit, they're not going to.

Patches, gum, injections and daily anti-smoking pills do NOTHING but control the PHYSICAL cravings - after 14 days your body is clean of nicotine. What's left is the psychological cravings and the only thing that makes them easier to deal with is whatever motivated you to quit. For me, it was because I began coughing violently and was sick of it. I knew the only way to stop coughing was to quit and so I did.

This is NOT a judgement of your wife but rather than looking at this as "having problems quitting smoking" perhaps you should investige this as a dependence issue. There's SOMETHING psychological your wife gets from smoking that she's having trouble coping without. Finding what that think is, and why it's so valuable to her, is key to helping you keep a smoke-free home.

It also seems that you're quite happy being smoke-free now and since you encouraged her it is obviously important to you. With a wife who still smokes, this is a sharp double-edged sword. On one hand, you're happy that she's not smoking and making a choice to be healthier. On the other hand, by wanting her to stop you're rejecting a part of her that has been there for twenty years - something you accepted when you married her (most likely). About 2 months after I quit, amidst lots of tears and shaking, I found out that my wife felt my smoking connected us (our favorite off-campus hangout was a smoky coffee shop that we both loved) and to have me no longer smoking made her feel alone. I tell ya, the minds of women sometime amaze me and I don't think I've ever been sure there's such thing as a "simple" matter anymore.

Good luck, however it goes.
 

Melana

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My husband and i decided to quit almost two years ago (i can't believe it's been that long!). We had both had enough of the ever increasing taxes and the ever decreasing wallet. Honestly the health reasons were not enough for me to quit, it was strictly financial. We were planning our wedding and the money was being squeezed and the $70-$100/week that we were throwing away on smokes really started to upset me. It was a tough thing to do but we did it, virtually cold turkey after 15 years for me and probably 15 for my better half.
Did we gain weight? YES.
Was it worth it not to be a slave to the smokes? absolutely!
Would I ever go near them again? nope, never.

It took me about 3 months or so until I really started tasting food again and now i've got a hyper sense of smell.

The only thing i can say as 'advice' is you have to want to do it and find a reason to stick to it that agrees with you.
 
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