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Fedora

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I like to see old people smoking. It gives me hope for the future.

I really should get on upgrading my membership to this forum. I always feel like a ****** posting in my blue jacket.

Northern Brewer, I haven't lived at that address for four years. Why did you ship my order there? Luckily it's next to my parent's house and only a twenty minute drive or I'd be pissed.
 
Damn I forgot to call northern Brewer and gripe about them sending my order to the wrong address. I wish my landlord would let me know ahead of time if she wants to do some work on the yard.

I wish tires weren't so expensive. I dont have$800 lying around for a new set. Guess I'll go all ghetto and buy one tire every couple of weeks till I have a new set.

Before I got a " smart" phone, I felt like such an idiot when I had to borrow one and make a call or text. My stupid fat fingers could never hit the right button on the touch screen and I would spend five minutes erasing stuff, until I finally just asked them to do it for me.
Now that I'm proficient with a touch screen and happen to pick up a phone without one, I spend twenty seconds or so swiping their screen while they watch me, waiting to laugh when I realize my mistake.

Is this thread annoying any one yet?

ImTryingReallyHardFedora
 
I'd be willing to bet that there's dog flavored human food. And human flavored bird food.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_meat

I once tried to order food in Mandarin at a Chinese restaurant; I thought I was ordering a particular dish of meat & veggies, but due to my mispronunciations & just flat out getting part of it wrong, I accidentally ordered dog stew. Luckily, I was in Las Vegas at the time & the had no dog meat. After my Chinese friend finished laughing, he explained my mistake.
Regards, GF.
 
Who farted?

It was MEEEE!
animated-gif-jim-carrey-me.gif
 
Why do squirrels run in the road right behind their friend that just got run over and do they mourn for their flattened friend?
 
Anyone else feel like potato salad?

In what way? Squishy? Tasty? Coated in mayonnaise?

No, none of those things. Maybe tasty. Definitely not coated in mayonnaise. I hate mayonnaise. I make my potato salad with mustard and sour cream. And in my part of the world it's called tater salad.
 
I've always had a high forehead and a widow's peak. Lately a couple people ( ass wholes) have mentioned that my forehead is getting a little higher and my widow's peak getting a little sharper. When I was younger I always threatened to get my hairline tattooed with a dotted line if I started to go bald, just cause I'm hardcore like that. Im still considering getting it done but in black light ink. So you could only see the dotted line under a black light...

Or maybe I should just get some Rogaine...
 
I should get my eyebrows laser removed, and instead get sub-dermal piercings to look like ridged lizard eyes.

And then I should pretend I was born like that and threaten to sue anyone who bad mouths it...

This is a good plan.
 
In what way? Squishy? Tasty? Coated in mayonnaise?



No, none of those things. Maybe tasty. Definitely not coated in mayonnaise. I hate mayonnaise. I make my potato salad with mustard and sour cream. And in my part of the world it's called tater salad.


Try making it German style with apple vinegar, a little brown sugar and !!
Bacon!
 
I should get my eyebrows laser removed, and instead get sub-dermal piercings to look like ridged lizard eyes.

And then I should pretend I was born like that and threaten to sue anyone who bad mouths it...

This is a good plan.

Uhmmmmm. Maybe have another home brew instead.:tank:
 
Try making it German style with apple vinegar, a little brown sugar and !!
Bacon!

That's my favorite too, not a big mayo fan here either. Plus, bacon.
No-brainer. :fro:


Mmmmmmm....Kartoffelsalat.

How exactly does one pick a peck of pickled peppers?

Duh, you pull up the whole plant and pickle it, then pick the pickled peppers. But is that a metric peck or an English peck?
 
That's my favorite too, not a big mayo fan here either. Plus, bacon.
No-brainer. :fro:




Duh, you pull up the whole plant and pickle it, then pick the pickled peppers. But is that a metric peck or an English peck?

It's an American peck. Thats just enough to fill a hole in the ground.
 
Why is it acceptable to pick your ear 👂 wax out in public but you can't pick your nose? 👃
 
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