That starts off all " Dear Penthouse letters" and ends up like Mad magazine. F.ed up!Moun10 said:OK here's my not-so-brief contribution that's still somewhat fresh in my memory. It was about a month ago. It kind of proves that adult beverages, a female coworker and a bicycle are always (or never) a good combination.
The evening started off innocently enough with a little after work happy hour send-off for a coworker of six years or so. 3 chocolate cake shots and many beers later the conversation with a few remaining male coworkers and the woman who was leaving turned to the quality of her boob job including things like "you can touch them to see how natural they feel." After some serious discussion and investigation, I found myself alone with the woman when the last remaining male coworker was in the restroom. We are both drunk and she says "I want to kiss you". She is 10 years older and I have worked with her for the last six years so obviously in my drunken state I think yeah that's a great idea. After a little getting silly in the bar we decide to leave together. As we are heading back to her car we run into her fully tattooed, chopper building brother. This freaked me out a bit but he takes off on his bike and we move on. After an extended goodbye at her car and me kind of coming to my senses a bit to go home alone, I head back to the office to get my bike to head home. Then I set out on an extremely curvy 3 1/2 mile bike ride home where I cut a corner a little short at the end of my block and end up forehead first on the street. Apparently I forgot to latch the strap on my helmet because when I hit the ground it came off. The hitting the ground sort of woke me up and I remember laying on the ground feeling around for my helmet. At this point I could not help but laugh out loud. The next day (and last awkward day at work with the female coworker) with a little road rash on my forehead, a friend at work that was there at the end of the night before, asked me if I noticed how long he went to the restroom. Apparently he came out of the restroom, saw something that made his jaw drop and the waited for a break in the action until he could stop by and say he was leaving. Again all I could do was laugh. No more chocolate cake shots.
To set the scene, picture first-year-of-college morons gathered on the back porch of a house with 3 30-packs of beer-water and a funnel with a long tube and valve at the end. the overall "system" capacity was 3 12 oz. cans of beer. I was the brave (stupid) soul who was convinced he could handle a 3-beer injection. Keep in mind, 80% of the liquid would be in your stomach within about 3-4 seconds due to gravity.mmditter said:Did you ever drink so fast that when you puked it was still cold coming back up?".....Has that happened to any of you?
Methinks he may have not provided sufficient "warning" to the lady in question, and she decided that what cums around, goes around, so to speak...Hopfan said:When I was in college, we had a keg party to celebrate a snowstorm. My roommate gets good & drunk and starts to tell us about a date with the local that everyone of us wanted to get with. When he gets to the part about getting head in his car, we're all making plans to find this girl the next day. He tells us that after he "finishes" she leans up to kiss him and spits it in his mouth. Needless to say, our plans with this girl go flying right out the window. He told us he sat there for a while wondering whether to spit or swallow and does that make him gay? The next day, I bought him a butt load of twinkies so he could enjoy the creamy filling.
Lord Sterrock Hammerson 8 said:Drunk when i found this website and decided to register under "Lord Sterrock Hammerson 8"
Do i really need to say anything else? :cross:
Twas a foul blow to Archibald Newton Sterrock Hammerson, the eighth male heir sired by Archduke Baltus and Regina Sterrock Hammerson.Lord Sterrock Hammerson 8 said:Drunk when i found this website and decided to register under "Lord Sterrock Hammerson 8"
Do i really need to say anything else? :cross:
Not that I am aware of, but I do get mixed up where and what I have done with wife as opposed to with previous girlfriends - that can cause a bit of an issue!!! "Remember when...." "No, that was not me". SLAPBiermann said:Ever call a woman by the wrong name after drinking heavily??
That occurred tonight for me.
I normally would give it a shot, but never ever works. I have used this in reverse if I did not want to go somewhere though - just pretended that I had been there before in my "past life"Yuri_Rage said:I'm guessing, "Well, do you want to..." Isn't an appropriate answer...
"I've totally found a new source for liquid panty remover/solvent".
Welcome to the club Mr Biermann.
In Tasmania it is only 14:45. Just pretend you are over here.Biermann said:*LOL*
and to make matters worse, I totally have to work at 0700.