Phrases that prove you're the expert

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lumpher

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Have you ever noticed there are phrases people use to start their posts to prove they're the expert, and what they say is the final word? Some examples:

As has been stated previously
Like has been said
Some have correctly stated
I have read some posts that say this, but...

Any other phrases you've read where people use phrases that are supposed to prove they know, and there should be no argument?
 

joshesmusica

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Oh, and this doozy:

"It goes without saying, ... "
And then, of course, they go on with saying it. One of my favorite phrases. When somebody says something like that in a conversation, I'm usually the a-hole who jumps in, and says something along the lines of, "Well then let me just stop you right there." But then again, I don't dislike awkward silence...
 

Bigcorona

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Does this qualify?

"As the leading expert on most everything men with larger than average penises find interesting,"
 

dmtaylor

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Trust me.
I guarantee it.
Try it and see for yourself.
Absolutely.
Ignore the naysayers.
I have conducted a lot of my own experiments, and based on that...
It would be a good idea to...
The best way to...
Keep in mind...
...is a complete waste of time/money/effort.
...is worthless.
To each his own.

And the biggest one of all:

An experiment by [fill in the blank with the celebrity homebrewer of the year] determined that there's no perceptible difference between...

I'm guilty of every single one of these.
 

hunter_le five

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One of my coworkers likes to use this one a lot : "I've got news for you..."

At least one sentence in every conversation begins with that phrase. Sometimes multiple. It's uncanny how often she says it. As if she is imparting some sort of profound knowledge to you every time she opens her mouth. Even when making obvious nonstatements. I wonder if she thinks of it as her catchphrase, or something.

"I've got news for you, it's raining outside." No sh!t, Sherlock, I can see it out the window. Condescending asshoke.
 

JonM

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"When I was at [pick one: Harvard, Yale, Notre Dame] ..."
 

Billy-Klubb

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One of my coworkers likes to use this one a lot : "I've got news for you..."

At least one sentence in every conversation begins with that phrase. Sometimes multiple. It's uncanny how often she says it. As if she is imparting some sort of profound knowledge to you every time she opens her mouth. Even when making obvious nonstatements. I wonder if she thinks of it as her catchphrase, or something.

"I've got news for you, it's raining outside." No sh!t, Sherlock, I can see it out the window. Condescending asshoke.
is she my dad?
You know what you're problem is?
I love that one. then I can tell them "yes" and list off a bunch of crap and end it with "...and you're talking to me."
 

m00ps

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Let me stop all of you cockalorums and rampallians right there. Imma let you finish, but I've got news for you...Any halfway competent idiot knows, in actual fact: if one finds oneself dependent upon mere simple phrases as a crutch to prove their intellectual fortitude, then clearly they are not as much of an authority on the aforementioned subject matter as they would have you believe. ERGO, I don't need to prove my quintessential expertise on this matter. So as, has been stated previously, plain and simple, it just is
 

m00ps

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*crossing fingers no one takes note of the comma splices*
 

iijakii

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Anytime someone responds to a paragraph dissecting it into 20 different quoted sentences I just gloss past. Go debate on some news comments section.
 

MaxStout

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One of my coworkers likes to use this one a lot : "I've got news for you..."

At least one sentence in every conversation begins with that phrase. Sometimes multiple. It's uncanny how often she says it. As if she is imparting some sort of profound knowledge to you every time she opens her mouth. Even when making obvious nonstatements. I wonder if she thinks of it as her catchphrase, or something.

"I've got news for you, it's raining outside." No sh!t, Sherlock, I can see it out the window. Condescending asshoke.
"I hate to burst your bubble, but..."

Don't call me bubble-butt.
 
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