Neighborhood Traffic Nazi Rant

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Fiery Sword

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Location
Revere, MA
so i live in a pretty densely populated area – it’s mainly a combination of single family homes with 3-families mixed in. Kind of driveway-to-driveway density-wise, without much real estate anywhere but behind the houses. A few months back this family moved in at the bottom of the street (30-something couple w/ 2-3 young kids) and they immediately started this Jihad to make the street a one-way. I don’t personally agree with their plan, but it did’t really bother me too much at the time. In general, I agree with their idea that making the neighborhood safer benefits everyone, and decreasing traffic on the street would help make that happen. (For the record, my concern was that no traffic study was done....perhaps this will in fact create new, more ‘dangerous’ traffic patterns in 4-6 months???)

So everything passes at city council meetings and we are set to be a one-way street in January. In the meantime, the Jihadist couple decide that their war is not over. They go out and purchase 5-6 of those little plastic “GO SLOW, KIDS!” signs and place them out in front of their house, in the street. Kind of tapered out into traffic like flares at a car breakdown on the highway. The thing is, their damn signs make it so only one car can go by at a time (the street is still a 2-way!) and in general cause a traffic ruckus. A number of times, neighbors have moved the signs onto the edge of the sidewalk (where it is legal to have them). Other times, they get knocked over (either intentionally or unintentionally) by passing cars. Every time, the signs end up back out IN the street.

Next, a week ago, I am driving home from work and I am heading up my street, going about 15-20MPH (speed limit is 20). As I pass the couple in question’s house, the woman is flailing her arms and yelling “SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN!!!!” and running out into the street. I double check the speedometer. Less than 20. No problem. This woman is obviously nuts. But I let it go.

Now, last night, I am driving home under very similar circumstances. This time, however, Traffic Cop Woman is unloading groceries from her car, surrounded by her army of GO SLOW signs. I pre-check the speedometer. 18-20MPH. I watch her as she walks to the sidewalk, puts down her bags, then (as I am only 15-20 FEET away) JUMPS INTO THE STREET, ARMS FLAILING, YELLING AT ME TO SLOOOOOOW DOOOOWN. I have to hit the brakes, hard, and I stop about 4-5 feet in front of her. She continues to yell and actually kicks my bumper.

Now, I’m not terribly good in these confrontational situations. I tend to fly off the handle and make such situation worse. I think that if I got out the car I would have done something stupid and became a part of the problem. SOOO here I am, yelling at her from my car (along the “Are you f’ing NUTS, b-word!?!??) but I decide that it’s best to continue up the street and let it pass.

I really don’t know what to do about this, but if it keeps happening a confrontation is going to occur. The bottom line is that in her zeal to make the neighborhood “safer” she is actually causing dangerous situations herself. I am temporarily at a loss as to how to talk to these people w/o causing them to Jihad in my direction.

...ahhh rant over. On to more important things. let’s go check that favre thread. :D
 
Fuggit. Call the cops. Complain that she is harassing you and others in the neighborhood. Also complain about her littering the street with signs. Ask that they be confiscated, or that she be cited for littering.
 
I suggest getting together with other neighbors and file a complaint in Small Claims/ Arbitration court. Best to gang up on that neighbor as she will only get worse. You might prepare your case with video or other pictures. You'll probably find the woman exempts herself from the very things that she is obsessed with from others.
 
It's legal for them to put up their own traffic signs??



I think you can then legally put up Biatch Crossing signs then.




I seriously can't believe that it's legal.
 
Wow, what a crazy (fill in the blank)! I agree, it's only going to get worse. Next she will be having them (or doing it herself) install speed bumps. Hope her kids don't RUN out in the street. she might ground them for speeding. :D
 
desiderata said:
Hope her kids don't RUN out in the street. she might ground them for speeding. :D

I doubt she would blame her kids for anything that happened to them. When the kid comes running out from behind a van into the middle of the street without looking, most likely, she'll blame the driver for being there, regardless of his speed.
 
She's a whack-job. :drunk: Tell her to keep her kids out of the street. But I give you total credit, if it was me, and she'd have kicked my car, it would not have been pretty. Get some "SLOW-PSYCHO AHEAD" signs and put 'em in your yard.


Ize
 
I think the woman is preparing to make the street a playground for her kids. They will probably be skateboarding and playing ball in the street before long.
 
I grew up in a neighborhood where the kids played in the street. It was two-way, and it was inside the city limits of Chicago. It's just what we did. I don't see anything wrong with it. Even to this day, when driving through the neighborhood, I drive slowly. I pull off the main street at 35-40mph, slide the tires, chirping them, scrubbing off speed, and tootle through the side streets at 15-20mph. The speed limit there is actually 30, but knowing there are kids around, it just is NOT a safe speed to travel. I don't really have any issue with any of her ideas or opinions, but I have a TON of problems with the way she carries them out.

Keep the signs the hell out of the street. Don't jump in front of my car. Don't kick my bumper. Biotch!
 
I grew up in Chicago too. While we played in the street, we did it center on the block. And if a car approached we curbed our activities because the street is there for car traffic. Besides there was a real nice park only two blocks away. For some strange reason kids seem to play in the intersections or near the corner. They show little common sense and their parents lack supervising. I really complain about skateboard jump devices and portable basketball hoop in the middle of the street. And the kids actually stay out in the center blocking traffic.
 
Genghis77 said:
I grew up in Chicago too. While we played in the street, we did it center on the block. And if a car approached we curbed our activities because the street is there for car traffic. Besides there was a real nice park only two blocks away. For some strange reason kids seem to play in the intersections or near the corner. They show little common sense and their parents lack supervising. I really complain about skateboard jump devices and portable basketball hoop in the middle of the street. And the kids actually stay out in the center blocking traffic.

All you need to take care of that is a nice solid SUV. Run over just one basketball hoop or plow one skateboard ramp down to the end of the block and they'll get the message. Kids aren't that stupid. ;)

"I didn't realize it was part of a kid's game, officer. I thought it was trash that someone had carelessly left in the street for the garbage man."
 
Subtlety needed here.

1) Steal the signs
2) Run her over at 10mph claiming that you were distracted by the signs
3) Put her house up for sale
4) Organise drag racing for the "kids"
5) Hire large truck, place large sound system in it and park outside her house.
6) Get her husband drunk (sounds like that could be easy)
7) Investigate her past. May be a reason that she is doing this. (dead kid?) Check birth / death records for the area that she moved from.
8) Draw two lines on the road 20m apart, time her and get her speed.
9) Organise (sorry organize) a first aid training course with the practical being a car crash right outside her house.
10) sow flower seeds on her front lawn. Use them to write a message or draw a picture (I did this once to somebody that piissed me off - worked a treat, they had to keep their grass very short!!!) Wild flower mixture works well - nice and hardy plants. Pumpkin seeds are apparently good.
11) All of the above
 
I'd station someone with a camera, then drive past her house at just under 20 mph until she freaks out on you. Then, after she kicks your car, send the video to the police and file a complaint.

Seriously, though, you need to get the whole neighborhood organized against this pyscho. Maybe if everyone ostracizes her she'll get the point.
 
I frequently yell at people that speed down my street, but they're not doing 20. One a-hole was doing an EASY 40 on f'ing Halloween!

Obviously, you're lady is a different breed. Call the Cops and don't get involved. What she's doing is illegal.
 
You have a helluva lot more patience than I do. Now, speeding in residential areas is one of my pet peeves, but these people are nuts, and are way into other peoples' business. And that's an even bigger pet peeve. :D

After the first "slow down" I would have said something. If the crazy biatch had have ran in front of me, her stupid ass would have got a reaming. Souds to me like they've gotten away with it for this long, and are averdue for a talking to.

Oh, and run over their signs like the litter they are.
 
SwAMi75 said:
Oh, and run over their signs like the litter they are.

Yes. That will serve two purposes. It will force them to spend time and money to re-erect the signs. It will also make them think that, maybe, if it were by accident, that people don't give two ****s about the signs and they are going to speed like crazy regardless. That could be disheartening to them and cause them to maybe feel a little lonelier in their crusade...
 
If their plastic signs, they should be especially brittle in cold weather. Should shatter nicely if you carefully aim your wheel over the target.
 
I lived in a neighborhood with a traffic nazi for a while. He once ran his fat ass all the way from his house to mine, chasing my truck (at 18 MPH) the whole way. He didn't keep up, and his out of breath tirade as I was walking into my house was less than amusing. I don't deal with those situations well either...I might have said a few choice words back.

His yard then became a favorite accidental venture on for all my friends' snowmobiles (going exactly 18 MPH, of course). That wasn't the right solution, though. I should've bought his kid the most annoying gift I could find - you know, out of the kindness of my heart. Ideally, a toy that runs forever on one battery, makes loud bodily function noises, and shoots darts or paintballs.
 
Nothing you, or any of the other neighbors, do will change her ways. You have to get the police involved. We have a similar idiot here that calls the cops on everyone for stupid stuff (once to have a neighbor arrested for driving an unlicensed vehicle on the road with his daughter in it. He was riding his garden tractor over to a neighbor whose tractor had died so he could cut his lawn and his daughter was sitting on his lap) Nobody talks to these people, many have confronted them and they still feel they are justified in their actions. BTW, the police don't come immediately anymore. Makes me feel real safe should they ever really need a cop.

Put your video camera in the car and film yourself going the speed limit when she is out there and catch her tirade. Then submit it to every video sharing site in the world, Americas Funniest Videos, all the news stations, etc.
 
You ought to be able to have those signs removed. They are (probably) not conforming to the standardization required for traffic signs, and, therefore, illegal.
 
Good to see that I'm not off the mark here. I had a litle chat with my neighbor last night about the lady and he's had a few run-ins with her also. We are trying to decide how 'crazy' she really is though, and what tact to take in addressing it.

I'm with many of your comments, I'd like to make the fookin' lady eat the shards of the pasting SLOW signs.

I grew up within a mile of where I live now - we used to play just about every sport inaginable in the middle of the street - hockey, football, basketball, half ball, whiffle baff, you name it. We always knew we were a secondary occupant to the streets that the cars were, and with one notable exception there were never any problems*. Put it this way, if I got hit by a car while playing out front, once my Dad knew I was OK he'd be chewing me out for being an idiot....and rightfully so.

* One time a friend of mine got hit, and run over, but the ice cream man! freakin' guy bowled him right over, then kept on driving!!!! I mean, his name, SALVI, was painted across the sides and back of the truck, did he think no one was going to recognize him? The cops picked him up five blocks away.....he was selling ice cream. The friend did OK....he just had to wear a helmet for a year or two. (now he's fine) Talk about a screw job......
 
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