Need to go electric...

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Just so you know, I do in fact have electricity in my home. And I already own a pump and several ball valves. And I was born in New Jersey.
Well more ebrew-curious than I thought, not that I had you pegged for a Luddite! You mentioned not having a pump to me not too long ago. As an admitted cheapskate, if the price was right, perhaps as low as free, you would reject an ebrew solution? Like your electrician friend quits drinking and not only gives you their electric system but installs an outlet for you. You'd take it right? At that point, money out of the picture, with high probability, I too think you might find it transformative. As a scientist, it removes a lot of the noise from the variability introduced by the equipment, and allows you to focus on the variables of interest in your experiment of producing beer. Like temperature control for instance. Hey I've got a mini-fridge I hacked the door and its temperature dial out, it's going in the trash unless I find a homebrewer for it...

But you didn't grow up in Jersey;). It's definitely beer thirty now!
Longer than you think. Time flies. But it's a really cheap pump.

And while I do generally like free stuff, I don't particularly need anybody's trash. I've got plenty of my own.
To a nonbrewer it's trash, to a homebrewer View attachment 849871 . The stickers on it alone are worth the price in gas! Works fine but the inkbird died on it and I got a gycol chiller. Plus it's small and I have two other ones. I'm marginally part of a semi-close club so I will see if anyone might want it there. They haven't been active much since Covid.