I'm becoming beer...or...a cold is like fermentation

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menschmaschine

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I have a passionate hatred for the common cold. If I won the Powerball, I would establish a laboratory with a sole purpose of eradicating the common cold. And the holidays, what with the comingling with friends, family, the general public, and many other types of non-handwashing, sneezing-in-your-face jerks, brought me one of these things which I loathe so much.

Contrary to old-timey belief, you can't catch "the death of a cold" by being outside in the winter without a hat on. As a matter of fact, the more time you spend outside, the better off you probably are because you're not in close contact with other people. Because that is how we really get colds... person-to-person. They shouldn't even be called "colds". They're really upper respiratory infections (URIs), but getting people to call them URIs is about as likely as getting the US to switch to metric.

Most colds are caused by Rhinoviruses and Coronaviruses. And although they have nothing to do with yeast, getting a cold is a perfect analogy to fermentation. Even the timing is similar. I thought if I looked at colds in beer terms, I might have a more positive outlook:

-Viral transmission/inoculation = pitching yeast
-Incubation period (pre-symptoms) = lag time
-Sore throat = start of fermentation
-Cold goes to your head, blocking your nasal passages = Full Krausen
-You start sneezing, hacking, blowing snot everywhere = Blow-off
-Mucus production wanes, your nose starts to open up = Krausen falls
-You're blowing all of the mucus remnants out = Clearing

And now, you've become beer.

I'm currently at the "Krausen falls" stage on my way to becoming beer and this symbol perfectly descibes how I feel: :drunk:
 

Brew Runner

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I'm still fighting off the remnants of an as-of-now 3-week beast cold. It started like a normal one, but went into my head after a week and stayed there. Cold temps definitely are not the cause of colds, but stress, lack of sleep, and often lack of food usually batters immune systems enough to make them break down. I was running on a lack of sleep and had high stress immediately prior to getting sick and that is usually how I get sick.
 

EvilTOJ

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Are you serious, there really are corona viruses (virii??) Why am I suddenly conjured up with a vision of a virus with a tiny tiny wedge of lime jammed down the protein tail?
 
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menschmaschine

menschmaschine

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EvilTOJ said:
Are you serious, there really are corona viruses (virii??) Why am I suddenly conjured up with a vision of a virus with a tiny tiny wedge of lime jammed down the protein tail?
I know it's crazy, but for some reason there are no Tecate viruses.:)
 

PseudoChef

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menschmaschine said:
I have a passionate hatred for the common cold. If I won the Powerball, I would establish a laboratory with a sole purpose of eradicating the common cold...
From a scientific standpoint, that would be a waste of powerball money because it just ain't gonna happen...
 
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menschmaschine

menschmaschine

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PseudoChef said:
From a scientific standpoint, that would be a waste of powerball money because it just ain't gonna happen...
You're probably right... I know the science behind it. However, I wouldn't go so far as to say it will never happen. Many diseases have been [virtually] eradicated and I'm sure long before they were, no one ever thought we could do it either. I'm hoping it's sort of like the patent office at the turn of the century. I don't know all the details, but I believe the head of the patent office wanted to close it because he thought mankind had invented everything they could.
 
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menschmaschine

menschmaschine

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I never thought I would name my brewery, not that there's anything wrong with it... I just like making beer and thought I'd leave it at that. But a name has just dawned on me because of this thread... Krausen Falls Brewery... and the logo would have a waterfall-like scene with lots of bubbly goodness!
 

PseudoChef

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Yeah, I could tell from you language that you do know the science behind it. Being in the science industry, it's so tough to tell the average citizen that a cure for the cold or more likely, cancer, will never occur.
 
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menschmaschine

menschmaschine

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PseudoChef said:
Yeah, I could tell from you language that you do know the science behind it. Being in the science industry, it's so tough to tell the average citizen that a cure for the cold or more likely, cancer, will never occur.
We're not going to find cures with THAT attitude! I know one person with an MS in Biochem that won't be working in my Cold Eradication Laboratory :D (Don't worry, I rarely play the Powerball and I have a greater chance of being killed by lightening, I know)
 
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