If SWMBO was a Beer....

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Apr 18, 2006
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I put this together thinking this might to fun to analyze the brewery management. :D

If SWMBO was a beer what would you be drinking at home? Hmmm....

My SWMBO is an India Pale Ale served in a tumbler poured from a 12oz bottle.

The Beer:

Hair Color : (Beer Color)
Bleach Blonde: Pale Gold
Blonde: Gold
Dirty Blonde: Orange-Amber
Red head: Red
Brown: Brown
Black: Black
Gray: Whatever it used to be (reloop)
Bald: Whatever its supposed to be (reloop)​

Body Stature or Build: (Light vs Full Body)
Thin Build: Light Body
Medium Build: Medium Body
Large Build: Full Body​

Personality: (Hoppy vs Malty)
Outgoing: Hoppy
Reserved: Malty
Both: Fruity
Somewhere in between: Balanced​

Style Help: http://www.bjcp.org/styles04/

Serving Method:

Overall Height & Stature: (Glass Type )
Short: Small Pils or Kolsh Glass, 8oz Tumbler, Brandy Snifter...
Medium: 12oz Mug, Tumbler (Small Pint), Pilsner Glass, Goblet, Stemmed Chalice...
Tall: 22oz Pilsner, Hefeweizen, Pint, Dimpled Mug, Liter Mug, Large Stein...
Really Tall: Yard...​

Patience for your HB addiction: (Bottled vs Draft)
Annoyed by it: 6oz Bottle
Depends on the mood: 12oz Bottle
Ok with it: 22oz Bottle, Growler, or Mini-keg
Loves it : On Tap​

Possible Examples:

Gwyneth Paltrow:
- American Pale Ale - served in a small pils glass (from a 12oz bottle.)

Oprah Winfry:
- Russian Imperial Stout, served in a pint (on tap.)

Rose O'Donnell
- Dusseldorf Altbier served in a large stein (from a 22oz bottle.)​

esb... extra special biotc... i mean bitter ;)

style notes: Orange-Amber, Medium Body, Malty... i think i'm too druck to adhere to the op guidlines.


What kind of glass and the source?

goblet from a growler...
I'll have to think about this one. My SWMBO is quite complex and to tune her into just one brew may take some research. What ever it is; I am sure it will either leave you with a nasty headache or the runs.:confused:
come on guys....a stout....long lasting great head served in a top heavy glass, chilled so it's obviously chilly
Bellybuster said:
come on guys....a stout....long lasting great head served in a top heavy glass, chilled so it's obviously chilly

I think you missed the point its not what you want, its what you got now.

If I had to do it all over again...

I'd get me a Pilsner, served in a stemmed chalice straight from the tap. :D
Light bodied Irish Red Ale served in a pilsner glass served from a keg.
Mine would be a medium bodied Irish Red Ale served in a 22oz. pilsner glass on tap all the time. Which also happens to be my favorite beer.... it was meant to be!

Although some of my ex's would be a warm, skunked Beast Light, shotgunned from a can...
Mine would be a German Hefeweizen poured from a naturally conditioned half liter bottle that was rolled with the last 2 ounces in it to get the rest of the hefe into a appropriate hefeweizen glass with a nice fluffy head.

I refuse to answer this question because any answer I give will be misconstrued.

I could say, "she's like a pilsner because she's always clean, refreshing, and a beautiful sight on a hot summer day." :D

She would hear, "she's tasteless, lame, and boring like a Budweiser." :confused:

- I know this doesn't actually fit the criteria, but you get the point -
I've got it!... I know what she would be! She would be a Belguim Wheat spiced with dry schizocarp and fresh squeezed orange, garnished with a slice of orange served in a schooner.:rockin:
Schlenkerla said:
Damn - I had to look up schizocarp & schooner. aka dried fruit & a goblet. What's schizocarp taste like?
Not quite as pungant as coriander(cilantro). Acutally, shizocarp is the fruit from the coriander plant. It's like a seed. It would have to been ground up like a coffee bean and used very lightly as a finishing garnish. You could mince up some dried leaves from the plant, but I think they would be WAY to strong.
SWMBO is totally on tap 24/7....and the kegs never run out. On tap we have a delicious medium bodied IPA.....my favorite beer, and favorite woman, and there is definitely a possibility she's hopped in a 90-120 minute boil....she's hardcore!
she said: (american) hefeweizen from draft to a pint glass

i said: a medium-bodied cream ale in the same vessel (maybe just a 5L jug)

i'll have to get brewing so we can have a taste-off to decide.